Merry Go Round Broke Down 2
anonymous
February 1 2011, 10:21:59 UTC
"Of course," Rodney crosses his arms, "you'll beg for it on your hands and knees, you'll come all over yourself just thinking about it, but you don't want it."
John spreads his hands, indicating himself, his own lack of response.
"You don't want it anymore," Rodney repeats, this time with realization. His eyes narrow, a scowl gouging deep lines around his mouth. "What happened?" And just as fast, "It was that device you saw, wasn't it? Why didn't you say something? Weren't you listening at all? The Regent and Regina don't have absolute power there, we could negotiate with the Ministry if they denied us access to the device to reverse the effect--"
"Hey!" John says in annoyance. "I was listening. I don't want it reversed." Which leaves Rodney kind of hanging, he knows, and he does understand that that's shitty. "I'm sorry," he says again.
"Fine, okay." Rodney flicks a hand at him irritably. "Well? Get out of here."
John doesn't have to be told twice. He goes.
-
At first, it's fantastic. He was always aware of it as a huge vulnerability on missions, a weakness day to day around the city, and it's a tremendous weight off his shoulders.
After a couple of weeks, though, he's restless. Whatever the console did, it took his whole libido offline. His body still needs release now and then, but nothing excites him. Jerking himself off, he can't muster up much more than a semi. He tries porn, nothing. Just touching his own ass with lube used to make him tremble with guilt and arousal, but now he has to get his fingers down in there and practically drum on his prostate to get any blood into his dick. He finally gets off a mechanical orgasm. It's more like taking a shit than sex: he feels relief, not satisfaction.
A month in, he even tries rubbing himself through his pants under the table in the mess hall, people nearby. It used to be a mortifying fantasy; Rodney used to threaten to make him do it while Rodney watched, and at the time John thought he was going to explode at just the idea of it, imagining Rodney staring at him pitilessly from across the table, the stares as the people around them caught on.
Actually doing it, he doesn't feel a thing.
He keeps wondering if Rodney's found someone else to go down for him yet. It seems possible. He would have expected Rodney to be upset about it, losing a source of reliable sex, plus whatever else Rodney got out of all that. But Rodney seems the same as ever, no more or less cranky than usual.
Six weeks after losing his sex drive, John's... okay with it. It's not great. He's had a couple of wet dreams, and that's embarrassing; not hot-embarrassing, but just regular plain old embarrassing. And he can't help feeling like there's something missing. It's not like he's spending more time alone than before, but it seems that way.
And he still feels like he kind of owes Rodney. So after the next Daedalus run, he takes one of his shiny new six-packs and heads to Rodney's.
John spreads his hands, indicating himself, his own lack of response.
"You don't want it anymore," Rodney repeats, this time with realization. His eyes narrow, a scowl gouging deep lines around his mouth. "What happened?" And just as fast, "It was that device you saw, wasn't it? Why didn't you say something? Weren't you listening at all? The Regent and Regina don't have absolute power there, we could negotiate with the Ministry if they denied us access to the device to reverse the effect--"
"Hey!" John says in annoyance. "I was listening. I don't want it reversed." Which leaves Rodney kind of hanging, he knows, and he does understand that that's shitty. "I'm sorry," he says again.
"Fine, okay." Rodney flicks a hand at him irritably. "Well? Get out of here."
John doesn't have to be told twice. He goes.
-
At first, it's fantastic. He was always aware of it as a huge vulnerability on missions, a weakness day to day around the city, and it's a tremendous weight off his shoulders.
After a couple of weeks, though, he's restless. Whatever the console did, it took his whole libido offline. His body still needs release now and then, but nothing excites him. Jerking himself off, he can't muster up much more than a semi. He tries porn, nothing. Just touching his own ass with lube used to make him tremble with guilt and arousal, but now he has to get his fingers down in there and practically drum on his prostate to get any blood into his dick. He finally gets off a mechanical orgasm. It's more like taking a shit than sex: he feels relief, not satisfaction.
A month in, he even tries rubbing himself through his pants under the table in the mess hall, people nearby. It used to be a mortifying fantasy; Rodney used to threaten to make him do it while Rodney watched, and at the time John thought he was going to explode at just the idea of it, imagining Rodney staring at him pitilessly from across the table, the stares as the people around them caught on.
Actually doing it, he doesn't feel a thing.
He keeps wondering if Rodney's found someone else to go down for him yet. It seems possible. He would have expected Rodney to be upset about it, losing a source of reliable sex, plus whatever else Rodney got out of all that. But Rodney seems the same as ever, no more or less cranky than usual.
Six weeks after losing his sex drive, John's... okay with it. It's not great. He's had a couple of wet dreams, and that's embarrassing; not hot-embarrassing, but just regular plain old embarrassing. And he can't help feeling like there's something missing. It's not like he's spending more time alone than before, but it seems that way.
And he still feels like he kind of owes Rodney. So after the next Daedalus run, he takes one of his shiny new six-packs and heads to Rodney's.
Reply
Leave a comment