New SGU Fic: One Last Time - Young/TJ (NC17)
Title: One Last Time
Author: kimmy4eytj
Rating: NC-17 (M+)
Content Flags: graphic sex
Spoilers: S1E5 - Light
Characters: mainly Everett Young & Tamara Johansen, but other crew members are here too.
Word Count: 3709
Summary: Young tells TJ he's picked her to go on the escape shuttle
Author's Notes: missing scenes for “Light”
Disclaimer: SG Universe is owned by MGM, not me, darn it. Since they denied us the pleasure of these characters' company, I'm using them entirely without profit for my own playtime. Comments to my LJ if you wish.
[][][]
“I figured since you took your name out of the lottery that I would be one of the two.”
“You'll be fine, Matthew. I have full confidence in you.” Young shifted his body leaning more heavily on the rifle turned crutch.
“Yes, Sir. It's just ...” Matt fidgeted not knowing how best to state his position.
“You're scared. Who wouldn't be in the same situation?”
“This wasn't in the training manual, Sir.”
“No ... no, it wasn't.” Young smiled, shaking his head at the younger man. “Look, I know it's not what you expected. Hell, none of us expected … this.” He gestured with his hand indicating the darkened corridors of Destiny.
“I'll take care of them, Sir.”
“I know you will. Don't be afraid to ask questions, but ultimately, you'll be making the important decisions. You and TJ will do fine. You'll make us proud.”
Matt nodded, compressing his lips together.
“Now, I need to tell TJ.”
Matt nodded again and watched Young limp down the corridor. He wasn't certain he hadn't just received the short end of the straw. Would it be better to stay aboard Destiny and burn up in the sun than trying to survive on a planet they didn't even know could support them. Chances for long-term survival, either way, were minimal at best. He sighed and went to find Sergeant Greer about the shuttle provisions.
[][][]
He found her coming out of Dr Franklin's quarters, slinging her med kit over her shoulder. She nearly ran into him and stopped short, putting her hands out to steady him as he stepped back.
“Hey. I'm sorry, I didn't--”
“That's okay, Lieutenant. Do you have a moment?”
“Sure, Sir. Um, I need to grab some supplies--” TJ cocked her head, and pointed down the corridor. “in my quarters. Can we--”
“Yeah, sure.” He gestured for her to proceed, then limped along beside her. He could tell that she adjusted her normal pace to accommodate his stilted amble. They remained silent, passing through the darkened ship, occasionally, turning on their flashlights at the darkest areas. TJ hit the mechanical hatch release and it slid open. Without ship lighting, they had to rely on the sun spilling its reddish orange glow into the room. The soft illumination brought out the bronze-rust hue of the walls.
TJ entered first, heading for a small desk against the rear wall. Young pushed the hatch release shutting the door behind them. TJ turned, startled. She hadn't been alone, in a closed room, with him for several weeks. Not since before the attack on Icarus. She blushed, thinking of that last time together. Of the enthusiastic sex, and afterwords, of simply holding one another, caressing and kissing. And watching him again, as his eyes darkened while he watched her moving above him. Of him, bringing her to breathless, trembling completion.
She'd been raised to be independent, to make her own way. At first, she has thought coming to Icarus would be another stepping stone toward her goal of medical school. Realistically though, she'd started having doubts about that life choice. She had known she was missing something vital in life, something that she hadn't yet identified. Was it love? She wasn't sure.
They had associated as professionals, then as friends, sharing dreams and concerns, laughter and tears. They had fought hard to ignore their growing attraction. Unlike TJ's other male friends, Everett had connected deeply with her. Maybe love was like that. You derived something from the other person's presence that no one else could give you. She may not have been in love with Everett, but certainly she'd been headed in that direction.
It hadn't been just about the sex. It had been more.
She hadn't meant to be the other woman. TJ had known she had no right to him, and hadn't been surprised that he wanted to patch up his failing marriage. Despite his weakness with her, he was an honorable man. She respected him for that. Later, when he'd broken off their affair, her feelings had been too fresh, confused. She'd made an impulsive decision and resigned her commission. She had chosen to run, to hide away from her feelings.
TJ shook her head to rid herself of her thoughts. Best to leave it alone. It wasn't like she'd get the chance to regret her situation now. Not with Destiny's course descending into that red dwarf star. She dipped her head, pulling the med kit off her shoulders, and swung it onto the table.
[][][]
Young caught the questions surfacing in her eyes. He watched her square her shoulders, stand straighter, and the slight shake of her head as she battled her doubts. He hadn't meant for their affair to happen. To hurt her. It had been a mistake both of them regretted. And didn't.
“She is so beautiful.” That thought came unbidden, his unconscious reaction to her.
He flushed slightly, secretly thrilled to be alone with her. Despite his resolve to go back to Emily, his dreams were still filled with Tamara, of wanting her. He could smell her, a mixture of sweat and her own subtle sweetness. An unforced memory of them together, on Icarus, flashed across his mind. They were naked, legs entwined, sweat slick after hard, fast sex. One hand behind her neck, while his other teased lazy circles over her breasts. He remembered kissing the hollow of her neck, lapping the sweat. As he trailed kisses between her breasts, tasting warm honey and citrus, tangy and sweet, he thought he could drink her.
Young cleared his throat, banishing his wayward thoughts. He couldn't let them happen again. Not that they had much time left anyway. “TJ … Tamara.” She turned to face him, eyes still so full of questions. “I've decided on you and Lieutenant Scott as my choices for the shuttle. Scott for his pilot skills--” He looked into her eyes, “And you, as medical officer.”
TJ shook her head slightly and mouthed a silent, no. Tears welled up in her eyes and she turned brushing them away. She bent over the table, leaning on her hands, her voice a weak croak, “Why?”
Young could see her struggling with his news. He spoke quietly, but firmly to convince her of his decision. “Whoever makes it onto the shuttle, to that planet, will have a much better chance of survival, with you there. To care for them. Like you always do.”
She shook her head and her voice rose, “No. I can't. That's too much responsibility, I can't do it.”
Young limped forward to stand behind her. Tentatively, he placed his palm at the curve of her back. He felt her shiver. “Tamara, you are the bravest woman I know. You can do this. You wouldn't want to think of them trying to survive without you.”
[][][]
TJ felt the heat of his hand against her back. She groaned with frustration, but she wasn't sure where it centered. Was she just afraid of the responsibility like she said? Sixteen other people's lives balanced against her skills? On Icarus, she had been just one of many. Her paramedic training had been more varied and hectic than her time at Icarus. Now, this heavy burden threatened to swamp her confidence.
Or was it Everett's presence? She realized she wasn't over him, that she remained connected to him. Needed to feel his confidence in her. She loved how he'd been so uninhibited with her, so alive. He'd given her freedom to lead in their lovemaking, to seek what she wanted. He'd instilled her with self-confidence.
“I'd be dead, killed with everyone on Destiny. I wouldn't have that worry.” she said in a contrived whine.
He pulled her around to face him, holding her elbow. “You don't mean that. You wouldn't shirk your duty.” He searched her face, so filled with despair and wished for her not to be here. To be back on Earth, safe in Seattle, fulfilling her life's dream.
He shifted closer, letting his crutch drop to the floor. He cupped her face, gazing into her eyes, beseeching her to listen to his reasoning. He didn't want their last conversation to dissolve into him angrily commanding her to go. “I'm sorry, TJ. For everything.” His gravelly voice dropped to a whisper. “I need you to be on that shuttle. To know that you'll survive.”
TJ stared at him, her self-doubt warring with her survival instincts. She scrunched up her face, tilting her shoulder and shook her head. “We don't know if that planet is even viable. It could be just a different place to die. If I'm going to do that anyway, I'd rather stay here.”
“I didn't know Rush wouldn't dial Earth or an alternate site. Nothing I do, right now, can change our being here. Or this situation. What I can do, though, is make certain some of us survive.” His thumb brushed over her full lips. A glimmer of a smile crossed his features. “It's important … to me, that you survive, Tamara.”
The expression in Everett's eyes made it impossible for her to move away. Instead, TJ wound her arms around his waist, and pulled him into a hug. She clung to him, burying her face in his neck. TJ felt him embrace her, and release a ragged breath. She wanted to imprint him upon her memory. His male scent of sandalwood and musk, the last vestiges of his spicy aftershave, and sweat. She knew this was their last time holding each other.
How could she not honor his command to be on that shuttle?
They stood there for several minutes, holding each other, giving what comfort they were able. TJ pulled back, still clutching his shirt. She brought a hand to his cheek, tracing the lines of his face. She smiled, nodding. His smile reflected in his warm eyes, and it smoothed away the worry lines of these last several weeks.
She didn't realize she started toward him, until his full lips were pressed under hers. Everett held himself rigidly still, and TJ thought he might pull away. When he didn't move to end the kiss, she softened it, angling her mouth across his. He didn't resist when she deepened the kiss, stroking her tongue along the seam of his lips. She moaned her approval when they parted for her.
TJ threaded her fingers through his short hair, enjoying the velvety texture. Their breathing became harsher as they caught quick gulps of air between their kisses. Lips and sparring tongues, and surging desire, hot and fierce flashed through her. She needed to feel this connection to him one last time, to be touched and held, before her world would consist of a harsh, survival existence on an alien planet.
TJ pulled him a few paces until her ass rode up over the table. She leaned back, bracing an arm around his neck. She groaned, breathless at the hard length of him as he rocked against her. TJ ran a hand under the hem of his t-shirt, up his ribs to splay across his chest. She stroked over his nipple and smiled at his hitched inhalation.
They fumbled at each other's clothing, loosening and pushing it out of their way. TJ watched his dark head nuzzling at her breasts. An overwhelming rush of heat and wetness flooded between her legs when he took a nipple into his mouth. Everett drew deeply on the stiffened tip and she couldn't contain her gasp. TJ pressed his head to her breast, intent on him suckling her.
[][][]
Everett returned to her lips, a soft, moist fusing of their mouths. His tongue slid along hers, and he pressed her closer. TJ's hot, open-mouthed kiss made him forget everything, except the feel of her in his arms, of how he wanted to be deep inside her one last time, and hear her little moans of pleasure as she arched up to meet his thrusts. The way she would clutch his ass urging him on, and when she came, how her head bent back and she gasped out his name with her release.
Everett slid his hand between TJ's legs. She was silky wet and hot in his hand. She let out a shuddery breath as he slid a finger into her.
“Really good--” she cried out as he started a slow glide of his finger in and out of her. After a few strokes, he added another digit.
“We can't be doing this,” he muttered, trailing his lips over her cheek, seeking the soft juncture of her throat, and pressed his lips against her hammering pulse.
“We can't not do this,” she whispered back. “Please, Everett... we don't have --” She didn't want to think about that now. Time was quickly counting down for them.
Young scraped his thumb over her center with every glide of his fingers. TJ arched forward grinding into his hand.
“I need this … you,” she cried out. She reached between them, grasping his cock and pulling it from his boxers. He was smooth heat and hard as she stroked him. “One last time...”
TJ positioned him at her entrance, rubbing his cock against her slick folds, coating his glans with her desire. Young made a rough sound, a mixture of desire and pain.
“You're so wet,” he gasped.
Everett surged forward and was sheathed, deep inside her. He didn't move for a long moment, his head bent over her chest, his breathing ragged. She shifted her knees up and braced her heels against the back of his thighs. He gripped her hips hard, sliding her forward and braced his legs. He hoped his injured leg held up and given their circumstances, he wasn't about to disappoint TJ with a poor last showing. She signaled her readiness by squeezing her inner muscles along his shaft.
Everett hissed through his teeth at her sweet manipulations. “You feel so good, TJ.”
“So do you.” TJ bent forward to capture his mouth in a deep, wet, tongue-dueling kiss.
Young began to stroke steadily in and out of her, slowly building his speed, trying not to go too fast. He knew he wasn't going to last long. He was far too excited and that niggling, ticking clock in his mind reminded him of Destiny's approaching fiery end.
TJ dropped her head back as Everett buried himself with each surge.
“Look at me,” he said, sweat dripping from his brow.
She lowered her eyes to his strained expression. The tautness of his body told her he was losing control. Her body reacted to his frenzied desire and increased hers. TJ's breathing changed to quick, desperate pants. He could sense that she was close.
“I want you to look at me, when you come,” he gasped. His command sent her into a spiraling climax. As she tightened around him, he groaned hoarsely, surging deep and held there, until his hot spurts of come ceased. Their gazes were locked on one another through their last shudder of pleasure.
He smiled into her eyes. They exchanged gentle kisses that held bittersweet promises that they knew would never be fulfilled.
Young stepped back, then helped TJ off the table, before adjusting his clothing. She arranged hers, then smiled happily at him. They stood awkwardly close together, trying not to touch each other, but reluctant to end this brief moment of happiness.
“I'll let you know when to report to the shuttle. Don't speak of my decision to anyone.” he said.
TJ nodded. The impact of his decision once again crashing into her.
Everett took her hands in his. He kept his head bent, not wanting to read her fear and find tears in her eyes. “You'll keep them safe.” He bent quickly over her hands, kissing them. Then he turned, picking up his crutch, slamming the hatch release and was gone.
A single tear slid down her face.
[][][]
Young laughed, relieved that the shuttle was safely docked and Destiny was back in FTL with all her crew aboard. “Well done! On our way down!”
He moved as quickly as his injured leg would allow. It had been a full, last few days and he was tired. Emotionally, he was drained. One minute believing he'd be dead by now, then realizing Destiny had been designed to recharge in suns. Then just as swiftly, tension mounting again to get the shuttle and its precious cargo back aboard, he felt like he had been on an unending roller coaster ride. He wanted a stiff drink.
There was already a big crowd at the access hatch as friends greet each another like long lost relations, even though, they had only left Destiny three hours prior. He wended his way through the crowd, some separating to allow him to pass, and greeted Lieutenant James stepping out of the docking collar access-way.
“Lieutenant. Good to have you back aboard.”
She smiled politely at him, “Thank you, Sir. I'd rather be here, than that rock they called a planet.”
Not knowing what to say, Young simply nodded. Lieutenant James shifted further down the hallway to confer with Sergeant Greer, arranging for the shuttle's supplies to be re-stocked in stores. Young walked into the shuttle and met Lieutenants Scott and Johansen, who were ready to leave the spacecraft.
“Sir.” They both say together. They all break out into relieved grins.
“Good to have you both back. If you're hungry, Becker's got a new concoction he's ready to spring on us.”
“Sounds good, Sir.” Scott said, patting his stomach. “I can sure use a bite. Even if it is Becker's protein mash.” He proceeds TJ and Young out of the hatch. They exchange a brief smile and follow him.
[][][]
There were only the two of them left in the Mess. He still sat at the end of the table, and she, a space away on his right. They'd gone silent, just enjoying the others company, happy to be alive.
But Young was sobering to the reality of their continued existence. He had let his baser self out with Tamara earlier in the day. He tried to reconcile that it had been her express wish to be together one last time. They had thought he'd be dead, destroyed along with Destiny, and she'd be scratching out her life on that icy rock of a planet.
It didn't relieve him of his marital responsibility to Emily. He'd promised her that he and TJ were done. And yet, he'd broken that promise once again. He could feel his guilt descending, spoiling the reunion, and this quiet moment. He clasped his fist into his other hand, worrying at his fingers.
“Let this go too, Everett.”
He looked up into her blue eyes, her face pleased. There was a hint of a grin across her lips. He sighed, “TJ--”
“Hey, I'm happy that we're all still alive. However, beating yourself up, because we made love, won't do you, or me, any good. We were human, Everett.”
He frowned, shaking his head.
“Does that scare you?”TJ shifted, lifting one leg over the bench, and slid closer to him. She touched a finger to his chest. He looked down at it resting above his heart. “That you allowed your real self, the inner Everett, to seek some small comfort before you almost died?” She waited for any reaction from him, but he remained silent. “We were scared. Both of us needed that one last connection.”
She shrugged and straightened, dropping her hand to her side. “However, I think given the circumstances, this counts as something way outside normal. I don't even know what normal is anymore?”
He lifted his head, and raised an eyebrow.
“Listen, I will still respect your position about your marriage. I'm not around to break that apart.” She looked levelly at him, her voice calm and steady. “And don't tell Emily.”
He harrumphed, dipping his head, staring unseeing at his hands. “Lie to her, again?”
“Will it serve any purpose for her to know?” TJ reached out and clasped a hand over his fists. She dipped her head to look up into his down-turned eyes. “She won't understand why it happened. And she won't believe you anyhow.”
He sat there considering her words. TJ made sense. Telling Emily that he couldn't keep his pants zipped would only prove she had been right to move out of their home. A home that he might never see again, if they couldn't get off Destiny. Did he really want to go back to Emily? What was holding him to that idea? They had been drifting apart for years. This last assignment to Icarus had been just another splinter in their relationship.
TJ shifted her other leg over the bench, and stood. She started to leave, then stopped beside him. She briefly laid her hand on his shoulder. “It won't happen again, Everett.”
After TJ left the Mess, Everett sighed and stood, stacking his dish for Becker's KP crew. As he walked to his quarters, he knew if given half a chance, his and TJ's connection was too powerful. That they could fall back into their affair. It had been risky to their careers on Icarus. It went against the military command structure and UCMJ. An article 134 and dishonorable discharge.
Now, it was entirely too dangerous to try and rekindle their affair. There were too few people aboard ship, not enough usable space, and death seemingly at every turn. If events remained consistent as these last several weeks, he didn't know if he would have the strength to resist if TJ asked him again. He wasn't certain he even wanted to resist.
Despite TJ's assurance that they wouldn't have sex again, in his mind, in his dreams, they had never stopped.
Author: kimmy4eytj
Rating: NC-17 (M+)
Content Flags: graphic sex
Spoilers: S1E5 - Light
Characters: mainly Everett Young & Tamara Johansen, but other crew members are here too.
Word Count: 3709
Summary: Young tells TJ he's picked her to go on the escape shuttle
Author's Notes: missing scenes for “Light”
Disclaimer: SG Universe is owned by MGM, not me, darn it. Since they denied us the pleasure of these characters' company, I'm using them entirely without profit for my own playtime. Comments to my LJ if you wish.
[][][]
“I figured since you took your name out of the lottery that I would be one of the two.”
“You'll be fine, Matthew. I have full confidence in you.” Young shifted his body leaning more heavily on the rifle turned crutch.
“Yes, Sir. It's just ...” Matt fidgeted not knowing how best to state his position.
“You're scared. Who wouldn't be in the same situation?”
“This wasn't in the training manual, Sir.”
“No ... no, it wasn't.” Young smiled, shaking his head at the younger man. “Look, I know it's not what you expected. Hell, none of us expected … this.” He gestured with his hand indicating the darkened corridors of Destiny.
“I'll take care of them, Sir.”
“I know you will. Don't be afraid to ask questions, but ultimately, you'll be making the important decisions. You and TJ will do fine. You'll make us proud.”
Matt nodded, compressing his lips together.
“Now, I need to tell TJ.”
Matt nodded again and watched Young limp down the corridor. He wasn't certain he hadn't just received the short end of the straw. Would it be better to stay aboard Destiny and burn up in the sun than trying to survive on a planet they didn't even know could support them. Chances for long-term survival, either way, were minimal at best. He sighed and went to find Sergeant Greer about the shuttle provisions.
[][][]
He found her coming out of Dr Franklin's quarters, slinging her med kit over her shoulder. She nearly ran into him and stopped short, putting her hands out to steady him as he stepped back.
“Hey. I'm sorry, I didn't--”
“That's okay, Lieutenant. Do you have a moment?”
“Sure, Sir. Um, I need to grab some supplies--” TJ cocked her head, and pointed down the corridor. “in my quarters. Can we--”
“Yeah, sure.” He gestured for her to proceed, then limped along beside her. He could tell that she adjusted her normal pace to accommodate his stilted amble. They remained silent, passing through the darkened ship, occasionally, turning on their flashlights at the darkest areas. TJ hit the mechanical hatch release and it slid open. Without ship lighting, they had to rely on the sun spilling its reddish orange glow into the room. The soft illumination brought out the bronze-rust hue of the walls.
TJ entered first, heading for a small desk against the rear wall. Young pushed the hatch release shutting the door behind them. TJ turned, startled. She hadn't been alone, in a closed room, with him for several weeks. Not since before the attack on Icarus. She blushed, thinking of that last time together. Of the enthusiastic sex, and afterwords, of simply holding one another, caressing and kissing. And watching him again, as his eyes darkened while he watched her moving above him. Of him, bringing her to breathless, trembling completion.
She'd been raised to be independent, to make her own way. At first, she has thought coming to Icarus would be another stepping stone toward her goal of medical school. Realistically though, she'd started having doubts about that life choice. She had known she was missing something vital in life, something that she hadn't yet identified. Was it love? She wasn't sure.
They had associated as professionals, then as friends, sharing dreams and concerns, laughter and tears. They had fought hard to ignore their growing attraction. Unlike TJ's other male friends, Everett had connected deeply with her. Maybe love was like that. You derived something from the other person's presence that no one else could give you. She may not have been in love with Everett, but certainly she'd been headed in that direction.
It hadn't been just about the sex. It had been more.
She hadn't meant to be the other woman. TJ had known she had no right to him, and hadn't been surprised that he wanted to patch up his failing marriage. Despite his weakness with her, he was an honorable man. She respected him for that. Later, when he'd broken off their affair, her feelings had been too fresh, confused. She'd made an impulsive decision and resigned her commission. She had chosen to run, to hide away from her feelings.
TJ shook her head to rid herself of her thoughts. Best to leave it alone. It wasn't like she'd get the chance to regret her situation now. Not with Destiny's course descending into that red dwarf star. She dipped her head, pulling the med kit off her shoulders, and swung it onto the table.
[][][]
Young caught the questions surfacing in her eyes. He watched her square her shoulders, stand straighter, and the slight shake of her head as she battled her doubts. He hadn't meant for their affair to happen. To hurt her. It had been a mistake both of them regretted. And didn't.
“She is so beautiful.” That thought came unbidden, his unconscious reaction to her.
He flushed slightly, secretly thrilled to be alone with her. Despite his resolve to go back to Emily, his dreams were still filled with Tamara, of wanting her. He could smell her, a mixture of sweat and her own subtle sweetness. An unforced memory of them together, on Icarus, flashed across his mind. They were naked, legs entwined, sweat slick after hard, fast sex. One hand behind her neck, while his other teased lazy circles over her breasts. He remembered kissing the hollow of her neck, lapping the sweat. As he trailed kisses between her breasts, tasting warm honey and citrus, tangy and sweet, he thought he could drink her.
Young cleared his throat, banishing his wayward thoughts. He couldn't let them happen again. Not that they had much time left anyway. “TJ … Tamara.” She turned to face him, eyes still so full of questions. “I've decided on you and Lieutenant Scott as my choices for the shuttle. Scott for his pilot skills--” He looked into her eyes, “And you, as medical officer.”
TJ shook her head slightly and mouthed a silent, no. Tears welled up in her eyes and she turned brushing them away. She bent over the table, leaning on her hands, her voice a weak croak, “Why?”
Young could see her struggling with his news. He spoke quietly, but firmly to convince her of his decision. “Whoever makes it onto the shuttle, to that planet, will have a much better chance of survival, with you there. To care for them. Like you always do.”
She shook her head and her voice rose, “No. I can't. That's too much responsibility, I can't do it.”
Young limped forward to stand behind her. Tentatively, he placed his palm at the curve of her back. He felt her shiver. “Tamara, you are the bravest woman I know. You can do this. You wouldn't want to think of them trying to survive without you.”
[][][]
TJ felt the heat of his hand against her back. She groaned with frustration, but she wasn't sure where it centered. Was she just afraid of the responsibility like she said? Sixteen other people's lives balanced against her skills? On Icarus, she had been just one of many. Her paramedic training had been more varied and hectic than her time at Icarus. Now, this heavy burden threatened to swamp her confidence.
Or was it Everett's presence? She realized she wasn't over him, that she remained connected to him. Needed to feel his confidence in her. She loved how he'd been so uninhibited with her, so alive. He'd given her freedom to lead in their lovemaking, to seek what she wanted. He'd instilled her with self-confidence.
“I'd be dead, killed with everyone on Destiny. I wouldn't have that worry.” she said in a contrived whine.
He pulled her around to face him, holding her elbow. “You don't mean that. You wouldn't shirk your duty.” He searched her face, so filled with despair and wished for her not to be here. To be back on Earth, safe in Seattle, fulfilling her life's dream.
He shifted closer, letting his crutch drop to the floor. He cupped her face, gazing into her eyes, beseeching her to listen to his reasoning. He didn't want their last conversation to dissolve into him angrily commanding her to go. “I'm sorry, TJ. For everything.” His gravelly voice dropped to a whisper. “I need you to be on that shuttle. To know that you'll survive.”
TJ stared at him, her self-doubt warring with her survival instincts. She scrunched up her face, tilting her shoulder and shook her head. “We don't know if that planet is even viable. It could be just a different place to die. If I'm going to do that anyway, I'd rather stay here.”
“I didn't know Rush wouldn't dial Earth or an alternate site. Nothing I do, right now, can change our being here. Or this situation. What I can do, though, is make certain some of us survive.” His thumb brushed over her full lips. A glimmer of a smile crossed his features. “It's important … to me, that you survive, Tamara.”
The expression in Everett's eyes made it impossible for her to move away. Instead, TJ wound her arms around his waist, and pulled him into a hug. She clung to him, burying her face in his neck. TJ felt him embrace her, and release a ragged breath. She wanted to imprint him upon her memory. His male scent of sandalwood and musk, the last vestiges of his spicy aftershave, and sweat. She knew this was their last time holding each other.
How could she not honor his command to be on that shuttle?
They stood there for several minutes, holding each other, giving what comfort they were able. TJ pulled back, still clutching his shirt. She brought a hand to his cheek, tracing the lines of his face. She smiled, nodding. His smile reflected in his warm eyes, and it smoothed away the worry lines of these last several weeks.
She didn't realize she started toward him, until his full lips were pressed under hers. Everett held himself rigidly still, and TJ thought he might pull away. When he didn't move to end the kiss, she softened it, angling her mouth across his. He didn't resist when she deepened the kiss, stroking her tongue along the seam of his lips. She moaned her approval when they parted for her.
TJ threaded her fingers through his short hair, enjoying the velvety texture. Their breathing became harsher as they caught quick gulps of air between their kisses. Lips and sparring tongues, and surging desire, hot and fierce flashed through her. She needed to feel this connection to him one last time, to be touched and held, before her world would consist of a harsh, survival existence on an alien planet.
TJ pulled him a few paces until her ass rode up over the table. She leaned back, bracing an arm around his neck. She groaned, breathless at the hard length of him as he rocked against her. TJ ran a hand under the hem of his t-shirt, up his ribs to splay across his chest. She stroked over his nipple and smiled at his hitched inhalation.
They fumbled at each other's clothing, loosening and pushing it out of their way. TJ watched his dark head nuzzling at her breasts. An overwhelming rush of heat and wetness flooded between her legs when he took a nipple into his mouth. Everett drew deeply on the stiffened tip and she couldn't contain her gasp. TJ pressed his head to her breast, intent on him suckling her.
[][][]
Everett returned to her lips, a soft, moist fusing of their mouths. His tongue slid along hers, and he pressed her closer. TJ's hot, open-mouthed kiss made him forget everything, except the feel of her in his arms, of how he wanted to be deep inside her one last time, and hear her little moans of pleasure as she arched up to meet his thrusts. The way she would clutch his ass urging him on, and when she came, how her head bent back and she gasped out his name with her release.
Everett slid his hand between TJ's legs. She was silky wet and hot in his hand. She let out a shuddery breath as he slid a finger into her.
“Really good--” she cried out as he started a slow glide of his finger in and out of her. After a few strokes, he added another digit.
“We can't be doing this,” he muttered, trailing his lips over her cheek, seeking the soft juncture of her throat, and pressed his lips against her hammering pulse.
“We can't not do this,” she whispered back. “Please, Everett... we don't have --” She didn't want to think about that now. Time was quickly counting down for them.
Young scraped his thumb over her center with every glide of his fingers. TJ arched forward grinding into his hand.
“I need this … you,” she cried out. She reached between them, grasping his cock and pulling it from his boxers. He was smooth heat and hard as she stroked him. “One last time...”
TJ positioned him at her entrance, rubbing his cock against her slick folds, coating his glans with her desire. Young made a rough sound, a mixture of desire and pain.
“You're so wet,” he gasped.
Everett surged forward and was sheathed, deep inside her. He didn't move for a long moment, his head bent over her chest, his breathing ragged. She shifted her knees up and braced her heels against the back of his thighs. He gripped her hips hard, sliding her forward and braced his legs. He hoped his injured leg held up and given their circumstances, he wasn't about to disappoint TJ with a poor last showing. She signaled her readiness by squeezing her inner muscles along his shaft.
Everett hissed through his teeth at her sweet manipulations. “You feel so good, TJ.”
“So do you.” TJ bent forward to capture his mouth in a deep, wet, tongue-dueling kiss.
Young began to stroke steadily in and out of her, slowly building his speed, trying not to go too fast. He knew he wasn't going to last long. He was far too excited and that niggling, ticking clock in his mind reminded him of Destiny's approaching fiery end.
TJ dropped her head back as Everett buried himself with each surge.
“Look at me,” he said, sweat dripping from his brow.
She lowered her eyes to his strained expression. The tautness of his body told her he was losing control. Her body reacted to his frenzied desire and increased hers. TJ's breathing changed to quick, desperate pants. He could sense that she was close.
“I want you to look at me, when you come,” he gasped. His command sent her into a spiraling climax. As she tightened around him, he groaned hoarsely, surging deep and held there, until his hot spurts of come ceased. Their gazes were locked on one another through their last shudder of pleasure.
He smiled into her eyes. They exchanged gentle kisses that held bittersweet promises that they knew would never be fulfilled.
Young stepped back, then helped TJ off the table, before adjusting his clothing. She arranged hers, then smiled happily at him. They stood awkwardly close together, trying not to touch each other, but reluctant to end this brief moment of happiness.
“I'll let you know when to report to the shuttle. Don't speak of my decision to anyone.” he said.
TJ nodded. The impact of his decision once again crashing into her.
Everett took her hands in his. He kept his head bent, not wanting to read her fear and find tears in her eyes. “You'll keep them safe.” He bent quickly over her hands, kissing them. Then he turned, picking up his crutch, slamming the hatch release and was gone.
A single tear slid down her face.
[][][]
Young laughed, relieved that the shuttle was safely docked and Destiny was back in FTL with all her crew aboard. “Well done! On our way down!”
He moved as quickly as his injured leg would allow. It had been a full, last few days and he was tired. Emotionally, he was drained. One minute believing he'd be dead by now, then realizing Destiny had been designed to recharge in suns. Then just as swiftly, tension mounting again to get the shuttle and its precious cargo back aboard, he felt like he had been on an unending roller coaster ride. He wanted a stiff drink.
There was already a big crowd at the access hatch as friends greet each another like long lost relations, even though, they had only left Destiny three hours prior. He wended his way through the crowd, some separating to allow him to pass, and greeted Lieutenant James stepping out of the docking collar access-way.
“Lieutenant. Good to have you back aboard.”
She smiled politely at him, “Thank you, Sir. I'd rather be here, than that rock they called a planet.”
Not knowing what to say, Young simply nodded. Lieutenant James shifted further down the hallway to confer with Sergeant Greer, arranging for the shuttle's supplies to be re-stocked in stores. Young walked into the shuttle and met Lieutenants Scott and Johansen, who were ready to leave the spacecraft.
“Sir.” They both say together. They all break out into relieved grins.
“Good to have you both back. If you're hungry, Becker's got a new concoction he's ready to spring on us.”
“Sounds good, Sir.” Scott said, patting his stomach. “I can sure use a bite. Even if it is Becker's protein mash.” He proceeds TJ and Young out of the hatch. They exchange a brief smile and follow him.
[][][]
There were only the two of them left in the Mess. He still sat at the end of the table, and she, a space away on his right. They'd gone silent, just enjoying the others company, happy to be alive.
But Young was sobering to the reality of their continued existence. He had let his baser self out with Tamara earlier in the day. He tried to reconcile that it had been her express wish to be together one last time. They had thought he'd be dead, destroyed along with Destiny, and she'd be scratching out her life on that icy rock of a planet.
It didn't relieve him of his marital responsibility to Emily. He'd promised her that he and TJ were done. And yet, he'd broken that promise once again. He could feel his guilt descending, spoiling the reunion, and this quiet moment. He clasped his fist into his other hand, worrying at his fingers.
“Let this go too, Everett.”
He looked up into her blue eyes, her face pleased. There was a hint of a grin across her lips. He sighed, “TJ--”
“Hey, I'm happy that we're all still alive. However, beating yourself up, because we made love, won't do you, or me, any good. We were human, Everett.”
He frowned, shaking his head.
“Does that scare you?”TJ shifted, lifting one leg over the bench, and slid closer to him. She touched a finger to his chest. He looked down at it resting above his heart. “That you allowed your real self, the inner Everett, to seek some small comfort before you almost died?” She waited for any reaction from him, but he remained silent. “We were scared. Both of us needed that one last connection.”
She shrugged and straightened, dropping her hand to her side. “However, I think given the circumstances, this counts as something way outside normal. I don't even know what normal is anymore?”
He lifted his head, and raised an eyebrow.
“Listen, I will still respect your position about your marriage. I'm not around to break that apart.” She looked levelly at him, her voice calm and steady. “And don't tell Emily.”
He harrumphed, dipping his head, staring unseeing at his hands. “Lie to her, again?”
“Will it serve any purpose for her to know?” TJ reached out and clasped a hand over his fists. She dipped her head to look up into his down-turned eyes. “She won't understand why it happened. And she won't believe you anyhow.”
He sat there considering her words. TJ made sense. Telling Emily that he couldn't keep his pants zipped would only prove she had been right to move out of their home. A home that he might never see again, if they couldn't get off Destiny. Did he really want to go back to Emily? What was holding him to that idea? They had been drifting apart for years. This last assignment to Icarus had been just another splinter in their relationship.
TJ shifted her other leg over the bench, and stood. She started to leave, then stopped beside him. She briefly laid her hand on his shoulder. “It won't happen again, Everett.”
After TJ left the Mess, Everett sighed and stood, stacking his dish for Becker's KP crew. As he walked to his quarters, he knew if given half a chance, his and TJ's connection was too powerful. That they could fall back into their affair. It had been risky to their careers on Icarus. It went against the military command structure and UCMJ. An article 134 and dishonorable discharge.
Now, it was entirely too dangerous to try and rekindle their affair. There were too few people aboard ship, not enough usable space, and death seemingly at every turn. If events remained consistent as these last several weeks, he didn't know if he would have the strength to resist if TJ asked him again. He wasn't certain he even wanted to resist.
Despite TJ's assurance that they wouldn't have sex again, in his mind, in his dreams, they had never stopped.