Fic: Scenes from a Courtship - McKay/Keller
Title: Scenes from a Courtship
Author: skinscript
Rating: R (barely)
Pairing: McKay/Keller
Genre: AU
Spoilers: None.
Word Count: 5500
Summary: Dr. Jennifer Keller had no idea that covering a night shift at her hospital’s ER would bring Dr. Rodney McKay into her life in a most dramatic way… and that her life would never be the same again. (I fail at summaries)
Written for: vicki595
Prompt: Pairing: Rodney McKay/Jennifer Keller
Three Things You Want To See: Them trying to have a normal life, whether on Atlantis or on Earth (If on Earth, Atlantis can not have happened, or happened. Whatever works). Humour would be great, and a happy ending is preferred, but not required.
Three Things You Do NOT Want To See: Any hint of slash
A/N: I have no idea if this is what you had in mind, but it’s what happened. Hope you like it!
Scenes From a Courtship
It was their big night, and this was not supposed to be happening.
This was never supposed to be happening.
As Jennifer watched the paramedics load Rodney into the waiting ambulance, his face all but obscured by the oxygen mask, she felt a slim hand slip into hers and warm bodies slide into place on either side and behind her. Teyla squeezed her fingers, and John leaned ever so slightly into her arm. Ronon placed a large hand on her shoulder.
They'd all been here before. The first time they'd met, it had been over something just like this.
It had been a pleasantly slow night.
One of the great things about working in the backend of the desert was that not that many people got hurt. When she'd been working Las Vegas, it had been insane. Here? It was a lot more reasonable. She didn't mind pulling emergency clinic coverage here the way she had in Vegas. It was quiet, it was relaxing, it was a dream job for a big-city neurosurgeon on the edge of burnout.
Really.
Jennifer rubbed her eyes with the heel of her hand and tried again to convince herself it was true. She let her head fall against her folded arms, let her eyes drift closed...
"Doctor! We need a doctor here!" A deep voice shouting brought her to her feet before she even realised she'd been asleep.
"Yeah. Uh. Yeah! Here, here!" She yelled back, trotting out to the front doors. A huge man stood just inside, cradling the unconscious body of another man in his arms. "Oh, Geez... Bring him this way. Put him here." She gestured at the gurney against the wall. The man complied wordlessly. Two others piled into the clinic behind him; a lovely woman with latte skin and a tall bushy-haired fellow who she pegged immediately as a charmer. They were both pale and worried-looking.
"What happened?" She demanded, already leaning over her patient. She could see the characteristic swelling around his eyes and mouth, the red rash spreading over pale skin.
"There was a wasp," the messy-haired man told her rapidly.
"Two, actually," the woman interjected. "He was stung."
"Has he ever had an allergic reaction to bees or wasps before?" She was already rummaging through the med supplies for a syringe of epinephrine, and the makings of an anti-histamine IV. The patient was breathing. "Was he given anything?"
"Epipen." The big guy who had entered first muttered. "One."
"How long ago?"
"Twenty minutes."
"Any other allergies? Is he on any medications?"
"Rodney is allergic to lemons," the woman spoke up again, her odd formality of speech suiting her somehow. "And he is hypoglycaemic and has high blood pressure. But he is on no medications."
"All citrus," the charmer inserted.
"Ok. Anything else important I need to know right now?"
"His name," the woman said softly, steel underlying the words. "Is Doctor Rodney McKay."
Jennifer blinked. She nodded slowly, acknowledging the rebuke, then pushed the gurney towards the ward. "You can wait there," she said, jerking her chin toward the chairs that sketched out the minimal waiting room. "I'll tell you as soon as I have anything."
"I'll drive." John steered her gently towards the door of his '69 Challenger. Teyla stopped him with a hand on his arm.
"I will drive," she said with steel in her voice, and gestured to her more roomy sedan. John glared but gave in rapidly, as they all did to Teyla.
"I can't leave." Ronon looked frustrated. "Not until the party breaks up."
"It's ok, Ronon." Jennifer looked up into his dear face, the one she had briefly been overwhelmed by. "We'll see you there when you're done." He'd been so beautiful when they brought Rodney in that night, all long lean muscle and contained power. He'd looked every inch the security chief he was, and he'd radiated concern for his friend; a fierce protectiveness that had won her over instantly.
Then, she'd met Rodney. Of course, it hadn't started well. This was Rodney, after all.
"I hate this. I hate this. IhatethisIhatethisIhatethis."
Her patient was rocking on the gurney, both arms wrapped around his chest as if he were trying to keep himself from literally flying apart. His eyes were squeezed closed and he was sweating, his face tight and pale.
"It's the adrenaline," she offered, checking his chart.
"I know it's the adrenaline," he snapped at her, eyes flying open to pin her with a contemptuous glare. "This is hardly my first time." His eyes were a slate blue and razor sharp, and he was practically vibrating with hostility and barely contained rage. "How many times have you been through it?"
Jennifer blinked. "Myself?"
"Oh, great. I should have known. You finished last in your class, didn't you? No one would come out to the ass end of nowhere by choice. Given that you've never actually experienced this, how would you know what's adrenaline and what's an incipient heart attack? Hmmm?"
"I was first in my class, actually." Jennifer shot back, starting to get irritated.
"Rodney! You are awake." The curtain pulled back and the woman who had introduced herself as Teyla Emmagan stepped through gracefully. She immediately reached out to the man on the gurney, settling a soothing hand on his arm. "I am very relieved."
Rodney's face softened immediately, before he hid it behind a mask of irritation. "You! You did this to me."
Jennifer's eyes widened in outrage, but Teyla laughed. "Indeed I did, Rodney."
The other two crowded in as well. The big man, (Ronon Dex, ma'am) squeezed Rodney's ankle. "Better than being dead, McKay."
"Ha!" Rodney bit out between gritted teeth, but Jennifer noticed his rocking had slowed and the trembling had subsided somewhat. "Speak for yourself."
"Dead would at least shut you up." The messy-haired man, (call me John, John Sheppard) interjected with a slight smile. "Sadly, we need you to finish the ship, first."
"Use Zelenka." The trembling was almost stopped except for spasmodic jerks, and Rodney's eyes were starting to droop as the inevitable crash began. Jennifer pushed between his friends to take a quick look at the monitors and make some notes. "Dead... S'better than this." His eyes snapped back open and a look of utter dismay spread across his face. "Oh my god! I almost died! I could be DEAD!"
"Not a chance, McKay," Ronon told him firmly. "Now sleep it off. Sheppard needs his bird. You're not the only one we want to shut up, you know."
Rodney snorted but leaned back into his pillow. "Don't think I'm going to let this go," he told Teyla irritably. "I told you not to have the event in a garden. Are you trying to kill me, I said? You said, No. Apparently ..."
"Rodney," Teyla interrupted the increasingly sleepy rant with a laugh. "You may berate me tomorrow. For now, sleep."
"Ok." With that, he was out.
The others moved quietly away from the bed, drawing Jennifer with them. "Sorry about the attitude," John offered. "I'd say he's not usually like that..."
"But he is." Ronon grinned.
John scrubbed a hand through his hair and Teyla laughed softly. "Yeah," he admitted. "He is."
Such an inauspicious beginning. Though, if Jennifer was being honest with herself (and these days she tried to be) it was a pretty accurate foretelling of the sheer energy of their relationship. No one met Doctor Rodney McKay and escaped unscathed. She settled deeper into the comfortable leather seat of Teyla's Saab and chewed her thumb as Teyla drove competently to the hospital.
The others had taken the time that night to explain a little about themselves. They all worked for a civilian spaceflight organization that was trying to build the first commercially viable privately owned repeat use space vehicle. Teyla was their Marketing manager, responsible for publicity and events, Ronon was their security chief, and John their pilot and aeronautics engineer. Rodney? He was their chief engineer and head of science. That night it had been a garden reception to announce the appointment of a new CEO, Elizabeth Weir. Apparently Rodney had fought the idea of the garden from the beginning, then had outright refused to go until Teyla insisted.
Tonight, it was the reception to announce their achievement. They'd done it. They'd created a reusable re-entry vehicle, and John had flown it. It was supposed to be a triumph, damn it. Not a trip to the hospital.
Even if a hospital was where it had began.
When Jennifer came in the next morning, there were flowers waiting for her at the front desk (Thanks, Doc - Ronon), and Rodney was awake and eating.
"Hi there, uh, Doctor..." He squinted at her nametag, realised he was ogling her chest, and blushed deeply before fumbling for his spoon. "Uh."
She took pity on him. "Keller. Jennifer Keller." She rapidly checked the monitors. "I'm kind of surprised to see you still here."
"Yes, well. They decided that even though I passed the six hour window, that letting me sleep would help." He spoke around a mouthful of food. "Then my blood sugar started having issues and they decided to feed me before letting me go." He gestured in a flappy, general way. "Hypoglycaemic."
"Ah." Jennifer nodded.
"I, uh. Hmmm." He put down his spoon and looked up at her, embarrassment written clearly across his face. He really did show absolutely everything, no poker face at all. She couldn't help but smile. He reddened further. "Wow, you're really pretty. I mean, uh." Realising he sounded like an idiot, he heaved a sigh and just went for it. "I need to apologize for last night. I don't really," he waved a hand around his ear, "remember all that much, but Teyla tells me I was behaving like a complete asshole, and while I quite often AM a complete asshole, I'm told you certainly didn't deserve it, and so... I'm sorry. Very, very sorry." The blue eyes were wide and sincere and Jennifer didn't think she'd ever had anyone look at her quite so... nakedly before.
"Well," she said, flustered as her stomach dipped a little. "You're forgiven, then."
"Really? Excellent." He grinned up at her in delight, and involuntarily she smiled back. "In that case, say you'll have dinner with me."
Jennifer blinked, dumbfounded again. "What? I..." She shook her head to clear it.
"No need to waste time, I don't think. Now is good for me." He lifted a small plastic bowl from his tray and waved it enticingly under her nose. "Fruit cup?"
Jennifer started to laugh helplessly, and just like that, she fell.
"Doesn't this thing go any faster?" John's voice was tight with worry. It had been years since the last time Rodney had had an allergy-related episode, and Jennifer thought they'd all forgotten the heart-pounding terror of it.
"It does, but I wish to reach the hospital in one piece. We can hardly support Rodney if we are also in the hospital," Teyla replied tartly.
John's hand was warm on Jennifer's shoulder. She agreed with him. John should have driven. She gritted her teeth to avoid urging Teyla to go faster.
She fixed her eyes on the passing storefronts, trying to focus only on the moment, and not on Rodney in the ambulance ahead of them. One of the restaurants caught her attention, bringing more memories with it.
"Um, yeah. An ice water for me, please. And, and.. No lemon. At all."
The waiter eyed Rodney uncertainly. Rodney glared at him. "No lemon, sir?"
"No. Le..." Rodney heaved a sigh. "Never mind. I'll take a scotch. Neat. Please." He looked at Jennifer across the table, exasperation written over his face. "See? Eating out is how I'll end up an alcoholic."
"So it won't actually be John's insane desire to smash nose first into the ground?" She grinned at him, parroting his usual favourite complaint.
"I consider that a large contributor," he said earnestly, "Along with Ronon's relentless 'hostage practice'," She could hear the air quotes though he'd stopped actually making the bunny ears on their first date, after she threatened to walk out on him. "But, no. Ultimately the thing that will put me over the edge will be avoiding death by citrus." He nodded and thanked their waiter as he delivered the requested drinks.
"Well, I'm sure it will all be in a good cause."
He blinked at her, confused. "My being an alcoholic?"
"Yeah, didn't really make sense to me either."
"You're... very strange. I like that," Rodney told her. "I like that a lot."
"Thanks," she said cheerfully. "Now, eat."
The meal was filled with light-hearted chatter and Rodney's searing indictment of his co-workers. After four dates, Jennifer had started to wonder if she was insane to find someone who ranted and complained so incessantly so damned attractive.
After five dates, she was sure of it. She grinned at Rodney, gesturing grandly as he went through some obscure science reference. She was nuts, but she thought he was great. Suddenly she realised that he'd fallen silent and was watching her with unnerving focus.
"What?" She asked self-consciously. "Do I have something on my face?"
"No," Rodney said softly. "No, you're ... you're beautiful. You look beautiful."
She blushed.
"I. Um. I have something I wanted to say. I know it's, well, somewhat rapid, but I ... uh. I love you. I've known almost since the beginning." He huffed a little laugh and waved a hand dismissively. "I don't expect you to reciprocate, cause you're, well, normal, but I wanted you to know." He jerked his chin in that little motion she'd learned meant, 'that's done'. "So, uh. So, now you know."
"God, Rodney," she breathed, blinking at him in absolute shock. "How the hell have you managed to survive intact this long, saying things like that?"
He gave her a crooked uncomfortable smile and looked away. For the very first time she couldn't read his face. "That one's easy," he said. "I haven't."
“Oh, for Christ sake!”
John’s exclamation brought her back to the present, to their fifth red light in as many intersections. Even Teyla’s famous calm was splintering around the edges, her fingers white-knuckled on the wheel. “I do wish the lights were being more co-operative,” she gritted.
“He’ll be fine.” Jennifer declared flatly, bringing the others to silence. “He’ll be fine.” She drove away the mental image of the incredible rapidity of Rodney’s lips turning blue, of the rasping whistle of his breath straining through a throat too tight for it to pass, the Epipen producing no effect. Her fingers clenched into fists, crushing fabric between them. Surprised, she looked down to find Rodney’s tuxedo jacket on her lap, being scrunched into a wrinkled mess. Automatically she smoothed it, then lifted it to her face and breathed him in.
His smell surrounded her, engulfed her, cradled her. She buried her nose against his chest and breathed in, enjoying the little laugh it elicited.
"Careful," he rumbled. "It's my last clean shirt."
She laughed, tilted her head back to look him full in the face. "It's not clean once it's been worn."
"Shhh," he said. "Someone might hear you."
They stood on her front steps, where each date had ended. Rodney was a perfect gentleman, treating her like something infinitely precious, kissing her chastely and then stepping away reluctantly. It was sweet.
It was driving her insane.
"Would you like to come in for coffee?" She asked.
"Coffee?" His eyes lit up, then his face fell. "I better not. I have thirty six hours coming up and I'll actually have to get some sleep before we go through the last tests of the build. Zelenka tells me that being awake is a pre-requisite to building extra-atmospheric engines. I just hope I'll be able to sleep."
"Maybe..." Jennifer bit her lip. "Maybe I could ... help with that."
He frowned. "I don't take sleeping pills. Uh. Thanks, though?"
"Rodney." She shook her head at how dense he was being. Though, being Rodney, it was more likely just oblivious. "I am inviting you. Inside. And offering to help you get to sleep." He continued to look clueless. "With sex."
His grin lit his whole face. "Really?"
She nodded. He really was unbelievable. "Really."
"Oh. Oh, well. That would be... uh... that would be fantastic."
They stood on the step and looked at each other like lovesick teenagers until the motion light on her porch turned off. Jennifer laughed, and it flicked back on, bathing them in yellow light. "How about now," she suggested.
"Yes. Yes. Now sounds.. sounds excellent." Rodney bounced on his toes. "Lead, lead on."
She was expecting him to be as clueless at lovemaking as he was at courting, had been looking forward to teaching him all of the ways of her body. He surprised her though, taking charge in a gentle but confident way.
He touched her as though she were fine china, his hands sweeping with light precision down her sides, cupping her breasts with delicate deliberation. He mapped her thoroughly, lips and fingers dancing over every inch of skin until he knew all the places that made her gasp, all the ticklish spots, all the areas that were much more sensitive than that. He was slow, stoking the fire carefully until she was sheened with sweat and demanding more. When her tugging on his shoulders finally worked, and he slid up her body to brace himself on his elbows and take her mouth in a long drugging kiss, she felt his body shaking with emotion. She lifted her hands to his face and he glided into her with a long smooth stroke that nearly undid them both.
"I love you," he whispered into her ear as he started to move, dragging her with him closer and closer to that shining edge of unity. "Jennifer." He repeated it with every stroke, her name becoming a chant. "Jennifer." The energy coiled in the pit of her stomach, pleasure curling everywhere her skin touched his. She arched up, seeking that last tiny bit of stimulation that would push her over the edge... and found it, pulling him with her into oblivion.
Rodney buried his face in her neck and just breathed her in. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders, curled her leg around his to hold him in place, and closed her eyes.
"Rodney," she said, her voice choked with emotions she was finally willing to name. "God, Rodney, I love you too."
Finally, finally, finally.
They pulled into the hospital just after the ambulance, Teyla heading immediately for the emergency parking lot. They were stopped by the lowered gate. Teyla said something ugly under her breath. "I don't have my purse. Does anyone have any money?"
"Shit." John patted his pockets frantically. "No."
Jennifer reached into her purse and lifted out her ID, placing it on the dashboard. "Staff parking is over there," she said, pointing with a finger that she resolutely refused to recognize was shaking visibly. Teyla patted her leg and swung the car into one of the reserved parking spaces.
"Handy to have a doctor around," John smiled at her weakly. Jennifer just nodded and got out of the car. Most of the time, being a doctor was a great thing, a fantastic thing. The best thing in her life, truth be told. Sometimes, like tonight, being a doctor made her feel completely underprepared, useless, especially when everything she knew let her down. When Rodney was gasping for breath and nothing she knew actually helped.
And then, sometimes, it was the thing that made her wrong.
She'd known it wouldn't go over well, but she hadn't expected... this.
Rodney spent a good part of his life angry. Shouting was his default method of communication, and it wasn't a good thing or a bad thing; it was, simply... Rodney. Jennifer had known this from the beginning, had lived with it for over a year, and in all that time, she had never seen him really mad.
He'd been tired and overworked, to a level that was making him irrationally foolish. It was impairment as surely as being falling down drunk would have been, and there had been no getting through to him. Of course, they could have waited until he simply collapsed from exhaustion, but there were flight tests coming up and they needed him to be all there for those, not making mistakes from a fatigue-addled mind. So, Ronon had approached her for some help. Lost in her own concern, she'd agreed, and had slipped him a mickey. He'd slept for more than twenty hours straight, and had sprung from fully asleep to 100% awake and raging inside of five minutes.
She thought she'd seen all of Rodney's moods, but she'd been wrong. So, so wrong.
"Rodney, you need to calm down." Teyla said, carefully reasonable.
"No, no, I don't. I don't need to calm down." His face was brick red and the vein in his forehead bulged with fury. She'd had no idea he could look so ... big. "I need to get the hell out of here, away from all of you." He took two steps toward the door before rounding on them again. "You drugged me against my will, you, you, you..." He flailed, apparently unable to think of words that would adequately describe the depths of his contempt, "betrayers!" he finally finished, practically incoherent. "How dare you? How DARE you?" He turned to John, practically incandescent. "YOU!" John just stared him down.
"John was against it, Rodney," Teyla spoke up again tentatively.
"That's because he goddamned well knows better. He knows..." Rodney stumbled to a halt. Something passed between him and John that Jennifer couldn't read, and John turned away, pale.
"Rodney..."
"Don't TALK to me!"
"It was my idea, McKay. You were getting stupid. Had to be done." Ronon said flatly.
Rodney's eyes widened even further, the red of his face making the blue of his eyes stand out even more than usual. "You had no right! None at all. I could have you all up for assault." His eyes fixed on Jennifer's, and the hurt in them cut her right to the bone. "How could you go along with this? How could you let them do this to me?" He took a long step towards her, fists clenched. "How could you?"
Ronon stepped between them, placed a hand on Rodney's chest, and pushed him back a step.
"What?" Rodney frowned, confusion overlaying the rage and tamping it down for the moment. "What... Oh, you think I'm gonna hurt her? Are you insane?" Suddenly the fury was back, full force, and it was Ronon's turn to step back. "Oh, right. You ARE."
Jennifer's heart thudded desperately in her chest. When Rodney had stepped towards her, she had been frozen like a deer in the headlights, held completely immobile by surprise and guilt. Had there also been fear?
No. She knew it to her bones. No matter how angry Rodney was, he would never, ever hurt her.
She stepped out from behind Ronon's bulk and placed her hand on Rodney's arm. "Of course you're not going to hurt me," she told him calmly. "But you're going to have an aneurism if you don't breathe." She could feel the others freezing behind her, ready for anything. "And you're right. We had no right to drug you to get you to sleep. We were wrong."
He looked at her intensely, the fury draining away and leaving hurt and anguish in its place. "I'm not... not... I'm not incompetent to make my own choices, you know. I'm an adult. You don't get to make those decisions for me." He took a deep breath and admitted the worst of it, the real betrayal. "I trusted you."
Jennifer felt tears burn behind her eyes and blinked them away. "I know," she said. "And this? Will never, ever happen again."
Rodney's lips compressed tightly, and for a heart stopping moment she thought he was going to turn away, was going to refuse her apology. Then, his eyes closed and his arms opened and she found herself crushed against him, and it was all as ok as it could be. A moment later, John's arms came around them both, followed by Teyla and finally Ronon, and once again she could breathe.
"Are you his wife?" The desk nurse asked without looking up. Jennifer gritted her teeth and bit back the words that threatened to spill out despite her.
"We are his family," Teyla interjected quickly, her fingers tightening on Jennifer's arm. The nurse looked up, gave them a cool once-over, and shook her head.
"Only immediate family allowed."
"I may not be his wife, but I am his doctor, and I will be going in to see my patient. Right. Now." Jennifer let her voice whip crack, getting the nurse's attention with authority. She turned to the others. "Wait here. I'll send someone to come and get you as soon as I can." John looked mutinous but Teyla nodded soberly.
"We will be here."
Jennifer took a deep breath and headed into the emergency ward.
Rodney was at the centre of a beehive of frantic activity. His clothes had been cut off already, the remnants of the expensive tuxedo shoved carelessly to one side as the ER staff worked to gain IV access and to attach the necessary monitors. The pulse-ox monitor went crazy as it was attached, and the attending doctor immediately went for the assisted airway. One of the paramedics who had picked him up came over to stand with her. "He crashed in the ambulance," he told her with gentle directness. "We got him back really quickly though. They're working to complete stabilizing him now. He started responding en route. I think we're past the worst of it." He paused. "Has he ever had an anaphylactic reaction to anything before?"
Jennifer couldn't help it - she started to laugh. The look of utter astonishment on the paramedic's face had her laughing even harder, until she had to lean against the wall for support. There was a flurry of something behind her, and familiar arms came around her to hold her up. Almost instantly, relief had the laughter dissolving into tears and she buried her face against John's chest, letting him ease her back out of the cold room and into the warmth of the support of her friends.
"I hate these things." Rodney glared at the black cummerbund in his hands. "You have to promise me that the next time I have to wear one will be our wedding."
Jennifer laughed at him as she put on her earrings, checking them against the fall of her hair in the mirror. "I still haven't agreed to marry you, Doctor McKay."
"I know." He dropped the cummerbund on the bed and stepped up behind her, running a finger down her spine to tickle her before heaving a sigh and pulling up the zipper. "But John tells me regularly that I am the stubbornest person ever. Plus, I am a great catch, of course, especially after tonight. Eventually you'll give in."
She ducked her head to check the fit of her bodice and to wriggle a little bit and get her skirt falling properly. When she looked back into the mirror Rodney was watching her intently and a little sadly. When he saw her looking his face closed down, hiding his thoughts from her for only the second time in their relationship. The smile he gave her was strained. She frowned.
"Rodney?"
"It's fine. I'm fine. I just ... " He stroked a hand over her hair, and she watched it tremble with confusion. "I love you, you know?"
She placed her hand on his, trapping it against her shoulder and lacing her fingers through his. "I do know," she said firmly. "Now, finish getting ready." She gave him a wide smile, ignoring the unease in her stomach. "It's a big night. You'll want to look your best."
"Hey, buddy." John's soft words brought Jennifer awake with a start. Ronon and Teyla jerked as well, and she was gratified that at least she wasn't the only one who had given in to exhaustion. "Come on, Rodney, open your eyes."
She was holding his hand, leaning over the bed in an instant. "Rodney? Rodney? Come on, please. Wake up."
Bleary blue eyes slitted open before closing again as Rodney turned his head away, groaning. Jennifer glanced at Ronon, who automatically turned off the main lights. Teyla flicked on the night lights instead. "Thanks," Rodney croaked. Jennifer stroked a hand down his cheek before offering him a cup of water and straw. "How... How bad?"
"Very," John told him curtly. "It was close."
"How many?"
"Just you," Ronon said, flicking a nervous glance at Jennifer. She narrowed her eyes at him, suspicion curling in her stomach.
"Thank God." Rodney closed his eyes again and sank back against the pillows. "Did you catch them?"
"Yeah. Not soon enough."
Teyla's face said that she too was following the implications of this discussion, and that there would be hell to pay later. Ronon was refusing to look at her. John patted Rodney's arm. "You weren't supposed to get in front of me, Rodney."
Rodney made a low dismissive noise. "Need you to fly," he muttered. "We can afford for me to take some time off."
Jennifer made a conscious effort to relax the fingers that she'd clenched in the bed sheets. "I need you all to leave now," she said firmly and very, very calmly. "I need to talk to Rodney alone." Ronon and John exchanged looks that had her gritting her teeth even harder. Her dentist was going to be making lots of money off of this night. "I will deal with you two later."
"I will deal with you now," Teyla said, steely. "Right now." She took the men by one arm each and pulled them from the room.
"You knew this would happen," she accused flatly.
Rodney's eyes snapped open. "I did not," he said indignantly. "I would never have gone if I knew this was going to happen." He shrank a little under her glare before lifting his chin stubbornly. "I suspected."
"Suspected!? And you didn't tell me? Do you have any idea what I went through tonight?" She closed her mouth, setting her teeth against the words that wanted to spill out.
"We suspected that there would be an attempt to sabotage the launch," Rodney told her rapidly, reaching for her. She jerked away. "We didn't know the details. We did know it would be targeted at John."
"And you didn't tell me. I thought," she fought the burn behind her eyes, willing it not to turn into tears. "I thought you trusted me."
"I do!" Rodney tried to reach for her again, held back by the IV and his own weakness. "I do, I swear! I just..." He looked away from her, then firmed his lips in that way he did whenever he was about to do something brave. Or stupid. "I didn't want to tell you about it, because I didn't want you to stay with me just because there was some danger."
She stared at him in utter shock, mouth agape. Finally she regained enough presence of mind to demand, "what?"
"I wanted... I want you to be free." Now his mouth was a slash, a stubborn line across his face. "I know you're not sure about us, and I refuse to put you in the position of being," his voice turned ugly, "obligated to stay."
"You're..." Jennifer dropped into the chair beside the bed, completely dumbfounded. How could he be so damned insecure, after all this time? "Who, who thinks that way? You're insane!"
"Ha!" He still wouldn't look at her. "I'm still trying to figure out why you're with me in the first place."
Jennifer closed her eyes, then stood and wiped the tears she hadn't realised she'd shed from her face. "Marry me."
Rodney looked utterly bewildered. "What?"
"I said, 'Marry me.'" She grabbed his hand and held it in both of hers, against her heart. "Don't play hard to get now, McKay. You're quite a catch, you know, especially after tonight." He frowned at her, still not really processing, and she clenched his hand until he winced. "But if you ever, EVER keep anything like this from me again I will tear you apart. Now hurry up and say yes. It's bad form to keep your doctor waiting."
Rodney lifted his other hand to her face, cupping her cheek so tenderly she felt the tears start to flow again. "Yes," he said.
Author: skinscript
Rating: R (barely)
Pairing: McKay/Keller
Genre: AU
Spoilers: None.
Word Count: 5500
Summary: Dr. Jennifer Keller had no idea that covering a night shift at her hospital’s ER would bring Dr. Rodney McKay into her life in a most dramatic way… and that her life would never be the same again. (I fail at summaries)
Written for: vicki595
Prompt: Pairing: Rodney McKay/Jennifer Keller
Three Things You Want To See: Them trying to have a normal life, whether on Atlantis or on Earth (If on Earth, Atlantis can not have happened, or happened. Whatever works). Humour would be great, and a happy ending is preferred, but not required.
Three Things You Do NOT Want To See: Any hint of slash
A/N: I have no idea if this is what you had in mind, but it’s what happened. Hope you like it!
Scenes From a Courtship
It was their big night, and this was not supposed to be happening.
This was never supposed to be happening.
As Jennifer watched the paramedics load Rodney into the waiting ambulance, his face all but obscured by the oxygen mask, she felt a slim hand slip into hers and warm bodies slide into place on either side and behind her. Teyla squeezed her fingers, and John leaned ever so slightly into her arm. Ronon placed a large hand on her shoulder.
They'd all been here before. The first time they'd met, it had been over something just like this.
It had been a pleasantly slow night.
One of the great things about working in the backend of the desert was that not that many people got hurt. When she'd been working Las Vegas, it had been insane. Here? It was a lot more reasonable. She didn't mind pulling emergency clinic coverage here the way she had in Vegas. It was quiet, it was relaxing, it was a dream job for a big-city neurosurgeon on the edge of burnout.
Really.
Jennifer rubbed her eyes with the heel of her hand and tried again to convince herself it was true. She let her head fall against her folded arms, let her eyes drift closed...
"Doctor! We need a doctor here!" A deep voice shouting brought her to her feet before she even realised she'd been asleep.
"Yeah. Uh. Yeah! Here, here!" She yelled back, trotting out to the front doors. A huge man stood just inside, cradling the unconscious body of another man in his arms. "Oh, Geez... Bring him this way. Put him here." She gestured at the gurney against the wall. The man complied wordlessly. Two others piled into the clinic behind him; a lovely woman with latte skin and a tall bushy-haired fellow who she pegged immediately as a charmer. They were both pale and worried-looking.
"What happened?" She demanded, already leaning over her patient. She could see the characteristic swelling around his eyes and mouth, the red rash spreading over pale skin.
"There was a wasp," the messy-haired man told her rapidly.
"Two, actually," the woman interjected. "He was stung."
"Has he ever had an allergic reaction to bees or wasps before?" She was already rummaging through the med supplies for a syringe of epinephrine, and the makings of an anti-histamine IV. The patient was breathing. "Was he given anything?"
"Epipen." The big guy who had entered first muttered. "One."
"How long ago?"
"Twenty minutes."
"Any other allergies? Is he on any medications?"
"Rodney is allergic to lemons," the woman spoke up again, her odd formality of speech suiting her somehow. "And he is hypoglycaemic and has high blood pressure. But he is on no medications."
"All citrus," the charmer inserted.
"Ok. Anything else important I need to know right now?"
"His name," the woman said softly, steel underlying the words. "Is Doctor Rodney McKay."
Jennifer blinked. She nodded slowly, acknowledging the rebuke, then pushed the gurney towards the ward. "You can wait there," she said, jerking her chin toward the chairs that sketched out the minimal waiting room. "I'll tell you as soon as I have anything."
"I'll drive." John steered her gently towards the door of his '69 Challenger. Teyla stopped him with a hand on his arm.
"I will drive," she said with steel in her voice, and gestured to her more roomy sedan. John glared but gave in rapidly, as they all did to Teyla.
"I can't leave." Ronon looked frustrated. "Not until the party breaks up."
"It's ok, Ronon." Jennifer looked up into his dear face, the one she had briefly been overwhelmed by. "We'll see you there when you're done." He'd been so beautiful when they brought Rodney in that night, all long lean muscle and contained power. He'd looked every inch the security chief he was, and he'd radiated concern for his friend; a fierce protectiveness that had won her over instantly.
Then, she'd met Rodney. Of course, it hadn't started well. This was Rodney, after all.
"I hate this. I hate this. IhatethisIhatethisIhatethis."
Her patient was rocking on the gurney, both arms wrapped around his chest as if he were trying to keep himself from literally flying apart. His eyes were squeezed closed and he was sweating, his face tight and pale.
"It's the adrenaline," she offered, checking his chart.
"I know it's the adrenaline," he snapped at her, eyes flying open to pin her with a contemptuous glare. "This is hardly my first time." His eyes were a slate blue and razor sharp, and he was practically vibrating with hostility and barely contained rage. "How many times have you been through it?"
Jennifer blinked. "Myself?"
"Oh, great. I should have known. You finished last in your class, didn't you? No one would come out to the ass end of nowhere by choice. Given that you've never actually experienced this, how would you know what's adrenaline and what's an incipient heart attack? Hmmm?"
"I was first in my class, actually." Jennifer shot back, starting to get irritated.
"Rodney! You are awake." The curtain pulled back and the woman who had introduced herself as Teyla Emmagan stepped through gracefully. She immediately reached out to the man on the gurney, settling a soothing hand on his arm. "I am very relieved."
Rodney's face softened immediately, before he hid it behind a mask of irritation. "You! You did this to me."
Jennifer's eyes widened in outrage, but Teyla laughed. "Indeed I did, Rodney."
The other two crowded in as well. The big man, (Ronon Dex, ma'am) squeezed Rodney's ankle. "Better than being dead, McKay."
"Ha!" Rodney bit out between gritted teeth, but Jennifer noticed his rocking had slowed and the trembling had subsided somewhat. "Speak for yourself."
"Dead would at least shut you up." The messy-haired man, (call me John, John Sheppard) interjected with a slight smile. "Sadly, we need you to finish the ship, first."
"Use Zelenka." The trembling was almost stopped except for spasmodic jerks, and Rodney's eyes were starting to droop as the inevitable crash began. Jennifer pushed between his friends to take a quick look at the monitors and make some notes. "Dead... S'better than this." His eyes snapped back open and a look of utter dismay spread across his face. "Oh my god! I almost died! I could be DEAD!"
"Not a chance, McKay," Ronon told him firmly. "Now sleep it off. Sheppard needs his bird. You're not the only one we want to shut up, you know."
Rodney snorted but leaned back into his pillow. "Don't think I'm going to let this go," he told Teyla irritably. "I told you not to have the event in a garden. Are you trying to kill me, I said? You said, No. Apparently ..."
"Rodney," Teyla interrupted the increasingly sleepy rant with a laugh. "You may berate me tomorrow. For now, sleep."
"Ok." With that, he was out.
The others moved quietly away from the bed, drawing Jennifer with them. "Sorry about the attitude," John offered. "I'd say he's not usually like that..."
"But he is." Ronon grinned.
John scrubbed a hand through his hair and Teyla laughed softly. "Yeah," he admitted. "He is."
Such an inauspicious beginning. Though, if Jennifer was being honest with herself (and these days she tried to be) it was a pretty accurate foretelling of the sheer energy of their relationship. No one met Doctor Rodney McKay and escaped unscathed. She settled deeper into the comfortable leather seat of Teyla's Saab and chewed her thumb as Teyla drove competently to the hospital.
The others had taken the time that night to explain a little about themselves. They all worked for a civilian spaceflight organization that was trying to build the first commercially viable privately owned repeat use space vehicle. Teyla was their Marketing manager, responsible for publicity and events, Ronon was their security chief, and John their pilot and aeronautics engineer. Rodney? He was their chief engineer and head of science. That night it had been a garden reception to announce the appointment of a new CEO, Elizabeth Weir. Apparently Rodney had fought the idea of the garden from the beginning, then had outright refused to go until Teyla insisted.
Tonight, it was the reception to announce their achievement. They'd done it. They'd created a reusable re-entry vehicle, and John had flown it. It was supposed to be a triumph, damn it. Not a trip to the hospital.
Even if a hospital was where it had began.
When Jennifer came in the next morning, there were flowers waiting for her at the front desk (Thanks, Doc - Ronon), and Rodney was awake and eating.
"Hi there, uh, Doctor..." He squinted at her nametag, realised he was ogling her chest, and blushed deeply before fumbling for his spoon. "Uh."
She took pity on him. "Keller. Jennifer Keller." She rapidly checked the monitors. "I'm kind of surprised to see you still here."
"Yes, well. They decided that even though I passed the six hour window, that letting me sleep would help." He spoke around a mouthful of food. "Then my blood sugar started having issues and they decided to feed me before letting me go." He gestured in a flappy, general way. "Hypoglycaemic."
"Ah." Jennifer nodded.
"I, uh. Hmmm." He put down his spoon and looked up at her, embarrassment written clearly across his face. He really did show absolutely everything, no poker face at all. She couldn't help but smile. He reddened further. "Wow, you're really pretty. I mean, uh." Realising he sounded like an idiot, he heaved a sigh and just went for it. "I need to apologize for last night. I don't really," he waved a hand around his ear, "remember all that much, but Teyla tells me I was behaving like a complete asshole, and while I quite often AM a complete asshole, I'm told you certainly didn't deserve it, and so... I'm sorry. Very, very sorry." The blue eyes were wide and sincere and Jennifer didn't think she'd ever had anyone look at her quite so... nakedly before.
"Well," she said, flustered as her stomach dipped a little. "You're forgiven, then."
"Really? Excellent." He grinned up at her in delight, and involuntarily she smiled back. "In that case, say you'll have dinner with me."
Jennifer blinked, dumbfounded again. "What? I..." She shook her head to clear it.
"No need to waste time, I don't think. Now is good for me." He lifted a small plastic bowl from his tray and waved it enticingly under her nose. "Fruit cup?"
Jennifer started to laugh helplessly, and just like that, she fell.
"Doesn't this thing go any faster?" John's voice was tight with worry. It had been years since the last time Rodney had had an allergy-related episode, and Jennifer thought they'd all forgotten the heart-pounding terror of it.
"It does, but I wish to reach the hospital in one piece. We can hardly support Rodney if we are also in the hospital," Teyla replied tartly.
John's hand was warm on Jennifer's shoulder. She agreed with him. John should have driven. She gritted her teeth to avoid urging Teyla to go faster.
She fixed her eyes on the passing storefronts, trying to focus only on the moment, and not on Rodney in the ambulance ahead of them. One of the restaurants caught her attention, bringing more memories with it.
"Um, yeah. An ice water for me, please. And, and.. No lemon. At all."
The waiter eyed Rodney uncertainly. Rodney glared at him. "No lemon, sir?"
"No. Le..." Rodney heaved a sigh. "Never mind. I'll take a scotch. Neat. Please." He looked at Jennifer across the table, exasperation written over his face. "See? Eating out is how I'll end up an alcoholic."
"So it won't actually be John's insane desire to smash nose first into the ground?" She grinned at him, parroting his usual favourite complaint.
"I consider that a large contributor," he said earnestly, "Along with Ronon's relentless 'hostage practice'," She could hear the air quotes though he'd stopped actually making the bunny ears on their first date, after she threatened to walk out on him. "But, no. Ultimately the thing that will put me over the edge will be avoiding death by citrus." He nodded and thanked their waiter as he delivered the requested drinks.
"Well, I'm sure it will all be in a good cause."
He blinked at her, confused. "My being an alcoholic?"
"Yeah, didn't really make sense to me either."
"You're... very strange. I like that," Rodney told her. "I like that a lot."
"Thanks," she said cheerfully. "Now, eat."
The meal was filled with light-hearted chatter and Rodney's searing indictment of his co-workers. After four dates, Jennifer had started to wonder if she was insane to find someone who ranted and complained so incessantly so damned attractive.
After five dates, she was sure of it. She grinned at Rodney, gesturing grandly as he went through some obscure science reference. She was nuts, but she thought he was great. Suddenly she realised that he'd fallen silent and was watching her with unnerving focus.
"What?" She asked self-consciously. "Do I have something on my face?"
"No," Rodney said softly. "No, you're ... you're beautiful. You look beautiful."
She blushed.
"I. Um. I have something I wanted to say. I know it's, well, somewhat rapid, but I ... uh. I love you. I've known almost since the beginning." He huffed a little laugh and waved a hand dismissively. "I don't expect you to reciprocate, cause you're, well, normal, but I wanted you to know." He jerked his chin in that little motion she'd learned meant, 'that's done'. "So, uh. So, now you know."
"God, Rodney," she breathed, blinking at him in absolute shock. "How the hell have you managed to survive intact this long, saying things like that?"
He gave her a crooked uncomfortable smile and looked away. For the very first time she couldn't read his face. "That one's easy," he said. "I haven't."
“Oh, for Christ sake!”
John’s exclamation brought her back to the present, to their fifth red light in as many intersections. Even Teyla’s famous calm was splintering around the edges, her fingers white-knuckled on the wheel. “I do wish the lights were being more co-operative,” she gritted.
“He’ll be fine.” Jennifer declared flatly, bringing the others to silence. “He’ll be fine.” She drove away the mental image of the incredible rapidity of Rodney’s lips turning blue, of the rasping whistle of his breath straining through a throat too tight for it to pass, the Epipen producing no effect. Her fingers clenched into fists, crushing fabric between them. Surprised, she looked down to find Rodney’s tuxedo jacket on her lap, being scrunched into a wrinkled mess. Automatically she smoothed it, then lifted it to her face and breathed him in.
His smell surrounded her, engulfed her, cradled her. She buried her nose against his chest and breathed in, enjoying the little laugh it elicited.
"Careful," he rumbled. "It's my last clean shirt."
She laughed, tilted her head back to look him full in the face. "It's not clean once it's been worn."
"Shhh," he said. "Someone might hear you."
They stood on her front steps, where each date had ended. Rodney was a perfect gentleman, treating her like something infinitely precious, kissing her chastely and then stepping away reluctantly. It was sweet.
It was driving her insane.
"Would you like to come in for coffee?" She asked.
"Coffee?" His eyes lit up, then his face fell. "I better not. I have thirty six hours coming up and I'll actually have to get some sleep before we go through the last tests of the build. Zelenka tells me that being awake is a pre-requisite to building extra-atmospheric engines. I just hope I'll be able to sleep."
"Maybe..." Jennifer bit her lip. "Maybe I could ... help with that."
He frowned. "I don't take sleeping pills. Uh. Thanks, though?"
"Rodney." She shook her head at how dense he was being. Though, being Rodney, it was more likely just oblivious. "I am inviting you. Inside. And offering to help you get to sleep." He continued to look clueless. "With sex."
His grin lit his whole face. "Really?"
She nodded. He really was unbelievable. "Really."
"Oh. Oh, well. That would be... uh... that would be fantastic."
They stood on the step and looked at each other like lovesick teenagers until the motion light on her porch turned off. Jennifer laughed, and it flicked back on, bathing them in yellow light. "How about now," she suggested.
"Yes. Yes. Now sounds.. sounds excellent." Rodney bounced on his toes. "Lead, lead on."
She was expecting him to be as clueless at lovemaking as he was at courting, had been looking forward to teaching him all of the ways of her body. He surprised her though, taking charge in a gentle but confident way.
He touched her as though she were fine china, his hands sweeping with light precision down her sides, cupping her breasts with delicate deliberation. He mapped her thoroughly, lips and fingers dancing over every inch of skin until he knew all the places that made her gasp, all the ticklish spots, all the areas that were much more sensitive than that. He was slow, stoking the fire carefully until she was sheened with sweat and demanding more. When her tugging on his shoulders finally worked, and he slid up her body to brace himself on his elbows and take her mouth in a long drugging kiss, she felt his body shaking with emotion. She lifted her hands to his face and he glided into her with a long smooth stroke that nearly undid them both.
"I love you," he whispered into her ear as he started to move, dragging her with him closer and closer to that shining edge of unity. "Jennifer." He repeated it with every stroke, her name becoming a chant. "Jennifer." The energy coiled in the pit of her stomach, pleasure curling everywhere her skin touched his. She arched up, seeking that last tiny bit of stimulation that would push her over the edge... and found it, pulling him with her into oblivion.
Rodney buried his face in her neck and just breathed her in. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders, curled her leg around his to hold him in place, and closed her eyes.
"Rodney," she said, her voice choked with emotions she was finally willing to name. "God, Rodney, I love you too."
Finally, finally, finally.
They pulled into the hospital just after the ambulance, Teyla heading immediately for the emergency parking lot. They were stopped by the lowered gate. Teyla said something ugly under her breath. "I don't have my purse. Does anyone have any money?"
"Shit." John patted his pockets frantically. "No."
Jennifer reached into her purse and lifted out her ID, placing it on the dashboard. "Staff parking is over there," she said, pointing with a finger that she resolutely refused to recognize was shaking visibly. Teyla patted her leg and swung the car into one of the reserved parking spaces.
"Handy to have a doctor around," John smiled at her weakly. Jennifer just nodded and got out of the car. Most of the time, being a doctor was a great thing, a fantastic thing. The best thing in her life, truth be told. Sometimes, like tonight, being a doctor made her feel completely underprepared, useless, especially when everything she knew let her down. When Rodney was gasping for breath and nothing she knew actually helped.
And then, sometimes, it was the thing that made her wrong.
She'd known it wouldn't go over well, but she hadn't expected... this.
Rodney spent a good part of his life angry. Shouting was his default method of communication, and it wasn't a good thing or a bad thing; it was, simply... Rodney. Jennifer had known this from the beginning, had lived with it for over a year, and in all that time, she had never seen him really mad.
He'd been tired and overworked, to a level that was making him irrationally foolish. It was impairment as surely as being falling down drunk would have been, and there had been no getting through to him. Of course, they could have waited until he simply collapsed from exhaustion, but there were flight tests coming up and they needed him to be all there for those, not making mistakes from a fatigue-addled mind. So, Ronon had approached her for some help. Lost in her own concern, she'd agreed, and had slipped him a mickey. He'd slept for more than twenty hours straight, and had sprung from fully asleep to 100% awake and raging inside of five minutes.
She thought she'd seen all of Rodney's moods, but she'd been wrong. So, so wrong.
"Rodney, you need to calm down." Teyla said, carefully reasonable.
"No, no, I don't. I don't need to calm down." His face was brick red and the vein in his forehead bulged with fury. She'd had no idea he could look so ... big. "I need to get the hell out of here, away from all of you." He took two steps toward the door before rounding on them again. "You drugged me against my will, you, you, you..." He flailed, apparently unable to think of words that would adequately describe the depths of his contempt, "betrayers!" he finally finished, practically incoherent. "How dare you? How DARE you?" He turned to John, practically incandescent. "YOU!" John just stared him down.
"John was against it, Rodney," Teyla spoke up again tentatively.
"That's because he goddamned well knows better. He knows..." Rodney stumbled to a halt. Something passed between him and John that Jennifer couldn't read, and John turned away, pale.
"Rodney..."
"Don't TALK to me!"
"It was my idea, McKay. You were getting stupid. Had to be done." Ronon said flatly.
Rodney's eyes widened even further, the red of his face making the blue of his eyes stand out even more than usual. "You had no right! None at all. I could have you all up for assault." His eyes fixed on Jennifer's, and the hurt in them cut her right to the bone. "How could you go along with this? How could you let them do this to me?" He took a long step towards her, fists clenched. "How could you?"
Ronon stepped between them, placed a hand on Rodney's chest, and pushed him back a step.
"What?" Rodney frowned, confusion overlaying the rage and tamping it down for the moment. "What... Oh, you think I'm gonna hurt her? Are you insane?" Suddenly the fury was back, full force, and it was Ronon's turn to step back. "Oh, right. You ARE."
Jennifer's heart thudded desperately in her chest. When Rodney had stepped towards her, she had been frozen like a deer in the headlights, held completely immobile by surprise and guilt. Had there also been fear?
No. She knew it to her bones. No matter how angry Rodney was, he would never, ever hurt her.
She stepped out from behind Ronon's bulk and placed her hand on Rodney's arm. "Of course you're not going to hurt me," she told him calmly. "But you're going to have an aneurism if you don't breathe." She could feel the others freezing behind her, ready for anything. "And you're right. We had no right to drug you to get you to sleep. We were wrong."
He looked at her intensely, the fury draining away and leaving hurt and anguish in its place. "I'm not... not... I'm not incompetent to make my own choices, you know. I'm an adult. You don't get to make those decisions for me." He took a deep breath and admitted the worst of it, the real betrayal. "I trusted you."
Jennifer felt tears burn behind her eyes and blinked them away. "I know," she said. "And this? Will never, ever happen again."
Rodney's lips compressed tightly, and for a heart stopping moment she thought he was going to turn away, was going to refuse her apology. Then, his eyes closed and his arms opened and she found herself crushed against him, and it was all as ok as it could be. A moment later, John's arms came around them both, followed by Teyla and finally Ronon, and once again she could breathe.
"Are you his wife?" The desk nurse asked without looking up. Jennifer gritted her teeth and bit back the words that threatened to spill out despite her.
"We are his family," Teyla interjected quickly, her fingers tightening on Jennifer's arm. The nurse looked up, gave them a cool once-over, and shook her head.
"Only immediate family allowed."
"I may not be his wife, but I am his doctor, and I will be going in to see my patient. Right. Now." Jennifer let her voice whip crack, getting the nurse's attention with authority. She turned to the others. "Wait here. I'll send someone to come and get you as soon as I can." John looked mutinous but Teyla nodded soberly.
"We will be here."
Jennifer took a deep breath and headed into the emergency ward.
Rodney was at the centre of a beehive of frantic activity. His clothes had been cut off already, the remnants of the expensive tuxedo shoved carelessly to one side as the ER staff worked to gain IV access and to attach the necessary monitors. The pulse-ox monitor went crazy as it was attached, and the attending doctor immediately went for the assisted airway. One of the paramedics who had picked him up came over to stand with her. "He crashed in the ambulance," he told her with gentle directness. "We got him back really quickly though. They're working to complete stabilizing him now. He started responding en route. I think we're past the worst of it." He paused. "Has he ever had an anaphylactic reaction to anything before?"
Jennifer couldn't help it - she started to laugh. The look of utter astonishment on the paramedic's face had her laughing even harder, until she had to lean against the wall for support. There was a flurry of something behind her, and familiar arms came around her to hold her up. Almost instantly, relief had the laughter dissolving into tears and she buried her face against John's chest, letting him ease her back out of the cold room and into the warmth of the support of her friends.
"I hate these things." Rodney glared at the black cummerbund in his hands. "You have to promise me that the next time I have to wear one will be our wedding."
Jennifer laughed at him as she put on her earrings, checking them against the fall of her hair in the mirror. "I still haven't agreed to marry you, Doctor McKay."
"I know." He dropped the cummerbund on the bed and stepped up behind her, running a finger down her spine to tickle her before heaving a sigh and pulling up the zipper. "But John tells me regularly that I am the stubbornest person ever. Plus, I am a great catch, of course, especially after tonight. Eventually you'll give in."
She ducked her head to check the fit of her bodice and to wriggle a little bit and get her skirt falling properly. When she looked back into the mirror Rodney was watching her intently and a little sadly. When he saw her looking his face closed down, hiding his thoughts from her for only the second time in their relationship. The smile he gave her was strained. She frowned.
"Rodney?"
"It's fine. I'm fine. I just ... " He stroked a hand over her hair, and she watched it tremble with confusion. "I love you, you know?"
She placed her hand on his, trapping it against her shoulder and lacing her fingers through his. "I do know," she said firmly. "Now, finish getting ready." She gave him a wide smile, ignoring the unease in her stomach. "It's a big night. You'll want to look your best."
"Hey, buddy." John's soft words brought Jennifer awake with a start. Ronon and Teyla jerked as well, and she was gratified that at least she wasn't the only one who had given in to exhaustion. "Come on, Rodney, open your eyes."
She was holding his hand, leaning over the bed in an instant. "Rodney? Rodney? Come on, please. Wake up."
Bleary blue eyes slitted open before closing again as Rodney turned his head away, groaning. Jennifer glanced at Ronon, who automatically turned off the main lights. Teyla flicked on the night lights instead. "Thanks," Rodney croaked. Jennifer stroked a hand down his cheek before offering him a cup of water and straw. "How... How bad?"
"Very," John told him curtly. "It was close."
"How many?"
"Just you," Ronon said, flicking a nervous glance at Jennifer. She narrowed her eyes at him, suspicion curling in her stomach.
"Thank God." Rodney closed his eyes again and sank back against the pillows. "Did you catch them?"
"Yeah. Not soon enough."
Teyla's face said that she too was following the implications of this discussion, and that there would be hell to pay later. Ronon was refusing to look at her. John patted Rodney's arm. "You weren't supposed to get in front of me, Rodney."
Rodney made a low dismissive noise. "Need you to fly," he muttered. "We can afford for me to take some time off."
Jennifer made a conscious effort to relax the fingers that she'd clenched in the bed sheets. "I need you all to leave now," she said firmly and very, very calmly. "I need to talk to Rodney alone." Ronon and John exchanged looks that had her gritting her teeth even harder. Her dentist was going to be making lots of money off of this night. "I will deal with you two later."
"I will deal with you now," Teyla said, steely. "Right now." She took the men by one arm each and pulled them from the room.
"You knew this would happen," she accused flatly.
Rodney's eyes snapped open. "I did not," he said indignantly. "I would never have gone if I knew this was going to happen." He shrank a little under her glare before lifting his chin stubbornly. "I suspected."
"Suspected!? And you didn't tell me? Do you have any idea what I went through tonight?" She closed her mouth, setting her teeth against the words that wanted to spill out.
"We suspected that there would be an attempt to sabotage the launch," Rodney told her rapidly, reaching for her. She jerked away. "We didn't know the details. We did know it would be targeted at John."
"And you didn't tell me. I thought," she fought the burn behind her eyes, willing it not to turn into tears. "I thought you trusted me."
"I do!" Rodney tried to reach for her again, held back by the IV and his own weakness. "I do, I swear! I just..." He looked away from her, then firmed his lips in that way he did whenever he was about to do something brave. Or stupid. "I didn't want to tell you about it, because I didn't want you to stay with me just because there was some danger."
She stared at him in utter shock, mouth agape. Finally she regained enough presence of mind to demand, "what?"
"I wanted... I want you to be free." Now his mouth was a slash, a stubborn line across his face. "I know you're not sure about us, and I refuse to put you in the position of being," his voice turned ugly, "obligated to stay."
"You're..." Jennifer dropped into the chair beside the bed, completely dumbfounded. How could he be so damned insecure, after all this time? "Who, who thinks that way? You're insane!"
"Ha!" He still wouldn't look at her. "I'm still trying to figure out why you're with me in the first place."
Jennifer closed her eyes, then stood and wiped the tears she hadn't realised she'd shed from her face. "Marry me."
Rodney looked utterly bewildered. "What?"
"I said, 'Marry me.'" She grabbed his hand and held it in both of hers, against her heart. "Don't play hard to get now, McKay. You're quite a catch, you know, especially after tonight." He frowned at her, still not really processing, and she clenched his hand until he winced. "But if you ever, EVER keep anything like this from me again I will tear you apart. Now hurry up and say yes. It's bad form to keep your doctor waiting."
Rodney lifted his other hand to her face, cupping her cheek so tenderly she felt the tears start to flow again. "Yes," he said.