Absolute Truths - Sam/Daniel for tyniere
Title: Absolute Truths
Author: gateruner
Rating: PG
Pairing: Sam/Daniel
Warnings: character angst
Spoilers: Episode 04.16 - “Absolute Power”
Word Count: 1,745
Written For: tyniere
Prompt: She wanted an established relationship, pre-season 5,
hurt/comfort. No Sam/Jack, torture, or character death.
Author's Notes/Summary: This is Daniel’s turmoil over the events in Absolute Power. His feelings and treatment towards Sam during the dream sequence. All the italicized parts are dialogue from the eppy.
ETA: I can't believe forgot to add earlier, many thanks to tularia and dyoselin for their awesome beta help! You guys rock.
~~~~ & ~~~~
“Are you sure there’s nothing else you want to add, son?”
The General’s voice floated across the briefing room table, soft and almost hypnotic. Daniel blinked quickly, his eyes adjusting to the glare of the lights that shone against the bald man’s head. He was aware of his teammates around him, watching him, waiting for his reply. Daniel cleared his throat and summoned up all the courage and sincerity he had at the moment, “No sir, that’s all.”
Daniel clutched the bottle in his hands, watching the red liquid flow freely into the crystal goblet. Wine, the blood of life, some might say. He was drunk, far beyond his usual buzz, he thought as the last few drops of wine trickled out of the empty bottle.
He traded the bottle for the glass and clutched the bowl of the glass, warming the liquid as he swirled it, a few drops splashing over the rim. Daniel couldn’t shake the feelings, couldn’t shrug them off as he had done so many times before. The debriefing had been difficult but nothing he couldn’t handle, or so he’d thought.
His teammates looked at him in earnest, listening intently as he played out the dream that Shifu embedded in his subconscious. All of them eyed him closely, and the General tossed out his usual reply. Nothing got by the man. Nothing. But there wasn’t anything to tell, really. Nothing was said that he didn’t want placed in an official report. To them, nothing had happened. But to Daniel, everything had. And that’s what he was having the hardest time coming to terms with.
Jack sat at the table, doodling on a notepad, blissfully unaware that he’d tried to shoot Daniel down in cold blood. Teal’c sat solemn and somber nodding occasionally, just as equally unaware that he had been sent on a sabotaged mission that resulted in his death. And that he, Daniel himself, had ordered that mission and its outcome.
And Sam…. Daniel choked back a sob as he lifted the glass to his lips, relishing in the burn of the alcohol as it flowed down his throat. Sam had been the worst betrayal of them all. Forcing her out of the program had been difficult. Sam was nothing short of clever and calculating in her own right. Unfortunately, her intelligence had proven to be her downfall and Daniel couldn’t risk letting her remain on the program any longer.
~~“You think I don’t know what you’re doing, what you’ve got planned?”~~
Daniel slammed the glass down on the counter, watching it shatter across the surface. Tiny fragments of glass gleamed in the harsh light of the kitchen. He studied the scattered shards, looking for a pattern amidst the chaos. Chaos Theory. Daniel recalled one of their many conversations over dinner. Sam’s eyes gleaming with knowledge and passion as she talked endlessly over the scientific realities of chaos. Everything had a pattern, Sam had told him. Random events all coming together to create an intricate weave in the fabric of our space-time.
There sure as hell was nothing random about his dream. In fact, it had been just the opposite. It was methodical, calculating, and completely insane. Daniel could now rationalize why the Goa’uld were as crazy as they were. No one, NO ONE PERSON, should have that kind of knowledge. If there was one universal truth, it was this - with knowledge comes power and with power comes great responsibility. To bear that sort of responsibility alone was horrifying and something Daniel couldn’t force himself to contemplate too long.
~~“You can’t seriously think you’re going to get away with this!”~~
Daniel ran a shaky hand over his face. Sam knew him. Even in his dream, she knew. She knew what he was capable of, knew what he was planning. She was far too intelligent to not see it. The other minions of the program were easily manipulated into doing his biding. They turned for him, twisted into whatever warped version of the truth he deemed necessary. Seeing only what he wanted them to, clinging to the belief that it was all for the greater good.
~~“What you’re doing, what you’ve got planned. That’s why you had me removed from the project. You knew I’d figure it out eventually.”~~
He’d twisted her logic, reflected her accusations back at her, trying to deflect the truth in the only way he knew how. Daniel lashed back, his words cold and distant. In his mind, Sam was the one who wasn’t logical, she was the one who couldn’t cope. Biting words, stinging and slapping her back in the face. It was a coping mechanism he’d learned long ago words were his ultimate weapon.
~~“Jealousy? I’ll tell you why it’s so hard to maintain perspective ‘Daniel’. Strategic division of labor. All in an effort to keep anyone from seeing the big picture.”~~
Daniel felt his gut clench, remembering all too clearly how his blood pressure had raced, how his palms had become sweaty with her words. He’d played it off, barely able to look at the woman he loved, not even batting an eye to anyone who’d notice. Anyone but Sam that is.
The images that had passed through his mind, the terrible things he envisioned doing to her, had all been too overwhelming. Shifu had sat silently by, eating his bowl of cereal, quietly witnessing the madness unfold. Daniel could still feel his eyes boring into him, analyzing his reactions, trying to surmise what the outcome would be.
~~“You know damn well what I’m talking about.”~~
Sam wouldn’t turn. She wouldn’t accept what he told her, wouldn’t back down from her principles. It was one of the things he loved about her, and the very thing that caused him to turn on her so horribly in his dream.
~~“Can’t you see what you’ve become?”~~
Daniel gripped the counter, remembering how he’d casually motioned for Sam to be removed from his presence. Like a fly or gnat, an annoying nuisance that needed to be dealt with. Oh he’d seen it all too well, but simply chose to ignore it. Telling himself that it was all for the greater good. It was his responsibility to ensure Earth’s safety. Without the weapons, they didn’t stand a chance against the Goa’uld.
~~“Is she insane?”~~
She was criminal, that’s what Sam was. She was criminally insane. After years of hard work, research and dedication, she’d simply cracked under the pressure that was all. It was quite simply really.
Daniel had done the honorable thing by relieving her of the burden. Drowning her in a sea of anti-depressants and anxiety medications. She’d almost bought into his lies, his delusions, herself. It was easier while Sam was under the influence of drugs. He could manipulate her more easily than before.
~~“Well you couldn’t stop him, what do you expect me to do?” ~~
Daniel reached out and carefully picked up one of the larger shards of the glass. Out of the shattered glass, there were only four large pieces. Four. Just like his team. Shattered and broken. Daniel felt the bile rise in his throat at the thought of Sam going to Jack. He’d hated it in the dream, and the jealousy seemed to be bleeding over into reality. He never felt jealous in a romantic way. It was difficult to explain, but Sam trusted Jack in a way that she’d never expressed to him.
Jack had been sent as a last ditch effort. And Daniel saw it for what it was. A ploy. A last attempt at reasoning with a madman. Daniel had locked Sam away because of what she COULD do, not what she WOULD do. She was too risky, too unpredictable. But Jack, Jack was easy to discern. His actions would be expected, even welcomed almost.
~~ “Talk to him. Sir, you have to try. Somebody has to stop him before it’s too late.”~~
The pain had been evident in her voice, even in the dream. Thinking back on it caused his chest to tighten. She had been conflicted from the beginning, sensing that he was changing, but reluctant to act on her instincts. And Daniel had exploited that doubt, used it to charm her along. He’d used their relationship against her, pacified her in the beginning.
He carefully placed the broken shard of glass onto the counter, stumbling backwards until his back hit the refrigerator door. The cold metal door was inviting against his overheated back, the chill permeating through his sweater as he slid to the floor.
Daniel hugged his legs to his chest and silently cried himself to sleep. Crying for the things he’d seen, the monster he’d become, and the people whose lives he’d destroyed.
The first thing Daniel noticed was that he was cold. Cold and uncomfortable. The hard tile of the kitchen floor was unyielding against his aching body. He tried to lift his head, but moaned as a stab of pain flared behind his eyes. Hangover, most definitely a hangover.
But it wasn’t the headache that had awoken him and he suddenly became aware of a presence in the room with him. His mouth was dry and felt like it’d been stuffed with cotton, but he managed to form the words on his lips, “Shifu? Is that you?”
“Sssshhhh.” The voice was soothing, calming and real. Daniel felt a pair of gentle hands, brushing his cheek. The smell of perfume filled his nostrils, warm and sweet. It reminded him of Jasmine and warm summer nights. It was comforting, familiar, and reassuring, just like the hands.
A pair of lips brushed against his forehead, soft and yielding against his clammy skin. He sighed and shifted his body closer to the warmth, “Sam?”
Arms enveloped him, warm and strong. Daniel felt his head being placed in her lap, and shivered slightly as she ran her fingers through his hair, “I’m here, Daniel.”
Daniel gave a slight nod as his body began to shake with the effort of holding his emotions in check. “It’s okay Daniel, let it go.”
His body shook as the fury of emotions overtook him. Anger, betrayal, lost love, hurt, and despair. All of it pouring out of him as he began to sob against Sam’s lap in the morning light of the kitchen.
Sam knew. Somehow, Sam knew he would need her. She understood the unspoken meaning behind his words. That Daniel had known she would come was not a question, it was simply a matter of when. And Daniel loved her for that.
The End
Author: gateruner
Rating: PG
Pairing: Sam/Daniel
Warnings: character angst
Spoilers: Episode 04.16 - “Absolute Power”
Word Count: 1,745
Written For: tyniere
Prompt: She wanted an established relationship, pre-season 5,
hurt/comfort. No Sam/Jack, torture, or character death.
Author's Notes/Summary: This is Daniel’s turmoil over the events in Absolute Power. His feelings and treatment towards Sam during the dream sequence. All the italicized parts are dialogue from the eppy.
ETA: I can't believe forgot to add earlier, many thanks to tularia and dyoselin for their awesome beta help! You guys rock.
~~~~ & ~~~~
“Are you sure there’s nothing else you want to add, son?”
The General’s voice floated across the briefing room table, soft and almost hypnotic. Daniel blinked quickly, his eyes adjusting to the glare of the lights that shone against the bald man’s head. He was aware of his teammates around him, watching him, waiting for his reply. Daniel cleared his throat and summoned up all the courage and sincerity he had at the moment, “No sir, that’s all.”
Daniel clutched the bottle in his hands, watching the red liquid flow freely into the crystal goblet. Wine, the blood of life, some might say. He was drunk, far beyond his usual buzz, he thought as the last few drops of wine trickled out of the empty bottle.
He traded the bottle for the glass and clutched the bowl of the glass, warming the liquid as he swirled it, a few drops splashing over the rim. Daniel couldn’t shake the feelings, couldn’t shrug them off as he had done so many times before. The debriefing had been difficult but nothing he couldn’t handle, or so he’d thought.
His teammates looked at him in earnest, listening intently as he played out the dream that Shifu embedded in his subconscious. All of them eyed him closely, and the General tossed out his usual reply. Nothing got by the man. Nothing. But there wasn’t anything to tell, really. Nothing was said that he didn’t want placed in an official report. To them, nothing had happened. But to Daniel, everything had. And that’s what he was having the hardest time coming to terms with.
Jack sat at the table, doodling on a notepad, blissfully unaware that he’d tried to shoot Daniel down in cold blood. Teal’c sat solemn and somber nodding occasionally, just as equally unaware that he had been sent on a sabotaged mission that resulted in his death. And that he, Daniel himself, had ordered that mission and its outcome.
And Sam…. Daniel choked back a sob as he lifted the glass to his lips, relishing in the burn of the alcohol as it flowed down his throat. Sam had been the worst betrayal of them all. Forcing her out of the program had been difficult. Sam was nothing short of clever and calculating in her own right. Unfortunately, her intelligence had proven to be her downfall and Daniel couldn’t risk letting her remain on the program any longer.
~~“You think I don’t know what you’re doing, what you’ve got planned?”~~
Daniel slammed the glass down on the counter, watching it shatter across the surface. Tiny fragments of glass gleamed in the harsh light of the kitchen. He studied the scattered shards, looking for a pattern amidst the chaos. Chaos Theory. Daniel recalled one of their many conversations over dinner. Sam’s eyes gleaming with knowledge and passion as she talked endlessly over the scientific realities of chaos. Everything had a pattern, Sam had told him. Random events all coming together to create an intricate weave in the fabric of our space-time.
There sure as hell was nothing random about his dream. In fact, it had been just the opposite. It was methodical, calculating, and completely insane. Daniel could now rationalize why the Goa’uld were as crazy as they were. No one, NO ONE PERSON, should have that kind of knowledge. If there was one universal truth, it was this - with knowledge comes power and with power comes great responsibility. To bear that sort of responsibility alone was horrifying and something Daniel couldn’t force himself to contemplate too long.
~~“You can’t seriously think you’re going to get away with this!”~~
Daniel ran a shaky hand over his face. Sam knew him. Even in his dream, she knew. She knew what he was capable of, knew what he was planning. She was far too intelligent to not see it. The other minions of the program were easily manipulated into doing his biding. They turned for him, twisted into whatever warped version of the truth he deemed necessary. Seeing only what he wanted them to, clinging to the belief that it was all for the greater good.
~~“What you’re doing, what you’ve got planned. That’s why you had me removed from the project. You knew I’d figure it out eventually.”~~
He’d twisted her logic, reflected her accusations back at her, trying to deflect the truth in the only way he knew how. Daniel lashed back, his words cold and distant. In his mind, Sam was the one who wasn’t logical, she was the one who couldn’t cope. Biting words, stinging and slapping her back in the face. It was a coping mechanism he’d learned long ago words were his ultimate weapon.
~~“Jealousy? I’ll tell you why it’s so hard to maintain perspective ‘Daniel’. Strategic division of labor. All in an effort to keep anyone from seeing the big picture.”~~
Daniel felt his gut clench, remembering all too clearly how his blood pressure had raced, how his palms had become sweaty with her words. He’d played it off, barely able to look at the woman he loved, not even batting an eye to anyone who’d notice. Anyone but Sam that is.
The images that had passed through his mind, the terrible things he envisioned doing to her, had all been too overwhelming. Shifu had sat silently by, eating his bowl of cereal, quietly witnessing the madness unfold. Daniel could still feel his eyes boring into him, analyzing his reactions, trying to surmise what the outcome would be.
~~“You know damn well what I’m talking about.”~~
Sam wouldn’t turn. She wouldn’t accept what he told her, wouldn’t back down from her principles. It was one of the things he loved about her, and the very thing that caused him to turn on her so horribly in his dream.
~~“Can’t you see what you’ve become?”~~
Daniel gripped the counter, remembering how he’d casually motioned for Sam to be removed from his presence. Like a fly or gnat, an annoying nuisance that needed to be dealt with. Oh he’d seen it all too well, but simply chose to ignore it. Telling himself that it was all for the greater good. It was his responsibility to ensure Earth’s safety. Without the weapons, they didn’t stand a chance against the Goa’uld.
~~“Is she insane?”~~
She was criminal, that’s what Sam was. She was criminally insane. After years of hard work, research and dedication, she’d simply cracked under the pressure that was all. It was quite simply really.
Daniel had done the honorable thing by relieving her of the burden. Drowning her in a sea of anti-depressants and anxiety medications. She’d almost bought into his lies, his delusions, herself. It was easier while Sam was under the influence of drugs. He could manipulate her more easily than before.
~~“Well you couldn’t stop him, what do you expect me to do?” ~~
Daniel reached out and carefully picked up one of the larger shards of the glass. Out of the shattered glass, there were only four large pieces. Four. Just like his team. Shattered and broken. Daniel felt the bile rise in his throat at the thought of Sam going to Jack. He’d hated it in the dream, and the jealousy seemed to be bleeding over into reality. He never felt jealous in a romantic way. It was difficult to explain, but Sam trusted Jack in a way that she’d never expressed to him.
Jack had been sent as a last ditch effort. And Daniel saw it for what it was. A ploy. A last attempt at reasoning with a madman. Daniel had locked Sam away because of what she COULD do, not what she WOULD do. She was too risky, too unpredictable. But Jack, Jack was easy to discern. His actions would be expected, even welcomed almost.
~~ “Talk to him. Sir, you have to try. Somebody has to stop him before it’s too late.”~~
The pain had been evident in her voice, even in the dream. Thinking back on it caused his chest to tighten. She had been conflicted from the beginning, sensing that he was changing, but reluctant to act on her instincts. And Daniel had exploited that doubt, used it to charm her along. He’d used their relationship against her, pacified her in the beginning.
He carefully placed the broken shard of glass onto the counter, stumbling backwards until his back hit the refrigerator door. The cold metal door was inviting against his overheated back, the chill permeating through his sweater as he slid to the floor.
Daniel hugged his legs to his chest and silently cried himself to sleep. Crying for the things he’d seen, the monster he’d become, and the people whose lives he’d destroyed.
The first thing Daniel noticed was that he was cold. Cold and uncomfortable. The hard tile of the kitchen floor was unyielding against his aching body. He tried to lift his head, but moaned as a stab of pain flared behind his eyes. Hangover, most definitely a hangover.
But it wasn’t the headache that had awoken him and he suddenly became aware of a presence in the room with him. His mouth was dry and felt like it’d been stuffed with cotton, but he managed to form the words on his lips, “Shifu? Is that you?”
“Sssshhhh.” The voice was soothing, calming and real. Daniel felt a pair of gentle hands, brushing his cheek. The smell of perfume filled his nostrils, warm and sweet. It reminded him of Jasmine and warm summer nights. It was comforting, familiar, and reassuring, just like the hands.
A pair of lips brushed against his forehead, soft and yielding against his clammy skin. He sighed and shifted his body closer to the warmth, “Sam?”
Arms enveloped him, warm and strong. Daniel felt his head being placed in her lap, and shivered slightly as she ran her fingers through his hair, “I’m here, Daniel.”
Daniel gave a slight nod as his body began to shake with the effort of holding his emotions in check. “It’s okay Daniel, let it go.”
His body shook as the fury of emotions overtook him. Anger, betrayal, lost love, hurt, and despair. All of it pouring out of him as he began to sob against Sam’s lap in the morning light of the kitchen.
Sam knew. Somehow, Sam knew he would need her. She understood the unspoken meaning behind his words. That Daniel had known she would come was not a question, it was simply a matter of when. And Daniel loved her for that.
The End