(no subject)
It's been a long time since I wrote anything on LiveJournal. It's been a long time since I wrote anything, really. That makes me feel guilty sometimes. Some people feel guilty about not working out, or not talking to thier family enough, or not spending more time to themselves. I feel guilty about not writing. Go figure.
Nearly 6 months ago I took what a lot of people consider to be the biggest step of anyone's young life. I jumped out into the world headfirst and became completely independent. It wasn't all that I thought it would be. Though my bills are miniscule compared to most independant non-college students my age, I have a terribly hard time paying them all. I'm unhealty and stressed to the edge of insanity. I drink cheap liquor more nights than I abstain, and I nearly destroyed the best thing that ever happened to me. My noble experiment has been largely a failure.
In March of '07 I will be reporting into the Basic Marines Intelligence Course at Dam Neck, VA. I'm going back onto active duty in the Corps, at least for the next 5 years.
Don't get me wrong, this has me more excited than anything has for a long time. I'm going to be working with some of the most high-tech equipment that the military has to offer, doing stuff that's so cool, I literally won't even be able to explain it, because I won't be able to talk about it. My point is, I'm not saying that I am in any way bummed about going back to the Corps- I look forward to it longingly.
With that in mind, however, I do sort of feel like I am throwing in the towel. I wanted to prove to myself that I'm a grownup; that I can get out and make shit happen, and I feel like this is at least partially motivated by my own concession of defeat.
I guess sometimes the things that are best for us in the real world aren't always obvious before we realize that we live there.
Nearly 6 months ago I took what a lot of people consider to be the biggest step of anyone's young life. I jumped out into the world headfirst and became completely independent. It wasn't all that I thought it would be. Though my bills are miniscule compared to most independant non-college students my age, I have a terribly hard time paying them all. I'm unhealty and stressed to the edge of insanity. I drink cheap liquor more nights than I abstain, and I nearly destroyed the best thing that ever happened to me. My noble experiment has been largely a failure.
In March of '07 I will be reporting into the Basic Marines Intelligence Course at Dam Neck, VA. I'm going back onto active duty in the Corps, at least for the next 5 years.
Don't get me wrong, this has me more excited than anything has for a long time. I'm going to be working with some of the most high-tech equipment that the military has to offer, doing stuff that's so cool, I literally won't even be able to explain it, because I won't be able to talk about it. My point is, I'm not saying that I am in any way bummed about going back to the Corps- I look forward to it longingly.
With that in mind, however, I do sort of feel like I am throwing in the towel. I wanted to prove to myself that I'm a grownup; that I can get out and make shit happen, and I feel like this is at least partially motivated by my own concession of defeat.
I guess sometimes the things that are best for us in the real world aren't always obvious before we realize that we live there.