B is for Blood (PG-13)

[sg_fignewton]

This ficlet is my contribution to Jack Alpha-Bits for Gen Fic Day. A dark fragment of Jack's stream of consciousness in Abyss. PG-13 for canon torture. 368 words.

Random, I can't thank you enough for helping me get this right.

Comments

[sg_betty]

Wow! This is stunning, horrifying, beautiful, and nightmarish...
Daniel.
he doesn't know if the word is plea
or prayer, or profanity
Wow...

[sg_fignewton]

Thank you - sounds like I got the effect I wanted. :)

And I'm especially pleased you liked that bit, because it was the very first lines I had; I built the rest of this around it.

[cleothemuse]

Echoing sg_betty... "Wow!" And adding an "Eek!", too.

[sg_fignewton]

Thank you! I'm glad it worked.

[samantilles]

it makes me wonder whether this takes place before Daniel first appears (and the whisper of his name finally helps Daniel decide to intervene) or if perhaps it is the final straw that takes Daniel to the other side to inspire the ideas for escape into the rest of SG-1...
very dark (appropriate for the week of holloween!) but very well done!

[sg_fignewton]

Oh, it's supposed to be an extrapolation from that last time - when Jack broke enough to call out for Daniel, and Daniel wasn't there (with the implication that he was busy being subtle about rescuing Jack).

Yeah, this can't be anything other than dark, but I'm glad you liked it all the same. :)

[lokei]

Wow. This is really bleak and fascinating, and the looping of images is just horrifying and perfectly done. Yikes. This must have been so hard to write!

[sg_fignewton]

I hadn't planned on doing something so dark at first - I was thinking of Bra'tac, really - but the "plea or prayer or profanity" leapt into my head, and then I was stuck. Thank goodness for Random. :)

[thraesja]

the blood that pools beneath that small body, and Sara is somewhere, sobbing instructions on the phone, and Charlie's gasping breaths have him scrambling to stop, stop it, stop the blood that paints his hands and arms as it drains...
Oh, this is beautiful. Poor, poor Jack.

manicured hands, fingering the vial, playing with it
tilting it then straightening, a threat and a promise
but the promise is hollow, because even if the last blood drains away
and it will, just like Charlie's
it will just start again.
It's not so much prose as poetry. Dark and disturbing, yes. But beautiful.

[sg_fignewton]

I'm glad it resonated so well for you. This couldn't be anything other than dark and disturbing, I think - glad you liked it just the same. :)