Ficlet request: Coming Down (G)
This one is for aurora_novarum, who asked for Sam and Janet: "I feel the need. The need for speed." This is my first-ever attempt at writing Janet at all, even if I stayed in Sam's POV, so I hope it works! :)
Spoilers for Upgrades. Word count: ~700
Coming Down
Janet came back to Sam's bedside, still studying the chart she held in her hand. "Your blood work is good," she said encouragingly, without looking up. "And your body temperature is back to normal. We'll do some follow-up work over the next few days, and of course you'll let me know if -"
Janet stopped short as she finally looked up from the chart and caught a glimpse of Sam's anguished eyes. Sam quickly schooled her expression back into bland attentiveness, but it was too late.
"Sam?" Janet dropped the clipboard onto the side table and tugged the curtains shut around the bed. "Sam, what's wrong?"
"Nothing, Janet. Really." Sam lifted her chin high.
"Talk to me, Sam," Janet urged, her voice softer now. "I can be your doctor, and offer you confidentiality. Or I can be your friend, if that's what you need right now. But please. Talk to me."
Sam stared down at her hands... and at the smooth skin above her right wrist, where the Atenik armband had clung until twenty-eight hours ago.
Janet followed her gaze, and sighed a little as she sat down on bed at Sam's side. "You don't have to be ashamed, you know," she murmured. "General Hammond was right when he said you were all acting under alien influence. The last blood work I took when you were wearing the armbands, before the three of you went through the Gate? The results were nearly as bad as Daniel's when he was addicted to the sarcophagus."
"It's not shame," Sam finally muttered, her voice barely audible. "Not for that, anyway."
Janet just waited.
"I miss it," Sam whispered at last.
"That's understandable," Janet said, keeping her tone mild and unaccusing.
"Not the strength or the power or beating up all the Jaffa, either," Sam added. She gave a miserable half-smile. "I mean, yes, it was great, but -" She swallowed. "The speed, Janet."
"The speed." Janet looked both enlightened and saddened. "Go on."
"There was suddenly enough time to do everything I wanted," Sam blurted. "I could read a book in seconds, I could type more than a thousand words a minute, I could write and work and think faster than I ever did in my life. And it was the greatest rush in the world."
She subsided a little, rubbing her left hand against her right arm. "I know it's stupid. And I want to kick myself for listening to Anise, and being so rude to you..."
"Under the influence, Sam," Janet repeated.
"It was a betrayal of trust," Sam said stubbornly.
"Fair enough," Janet agreed. "But it wasn't a betrayal in your right mind, Sam. I forgive you, all right?"
"It doesn't help." Sam rubbed her arm a little harder. "Because I still miss it."
They sat in silence for a while, sheltered by the curtain while the routine beeps and clicks and murmurings of the infirmary washed around them. Sam thought about the scream of engines in an F-16 diving towards the earth, the wind-induced tears in her eyes when she rounded a steep curve of the road on her motorcycle at eighty miles an hour, the free-fall not-here sensation of stepping across light years in seconds, even the pile of speeding tickets that she kept in a kitchen drawer. For three glorious days while she'd worn the armband, she'd had speed for the taking - all hers, without any artificial aid other than the armband herself. It was the deceptive gift of the monkey's paw, more cruel in having had it and lost it than if she'd never had it at all.
The world plodded, now. Even her blood seemed sluggish in her veins.
"You'll be allowed off-base in three days," Janet finally said. "My doctor's prescription, Major Carter, is a visit to the seediest bar that you and I can find and several large doses of alcohol."
Sam chuckled despite herself. "And when we've gotten over the hangovers?"
Janet took a deep breath. "Then I promise you, Sam, that I will finally let you take me for a ride on that accident-inducing monster you call a motorcycle." She rose to her feet and gave a quirky smile of her own. "And maybe," she added, "you can teach me how to love speed."
Spoilers for Upgrades. Word count: ~700
Coming Down
Janet came back to Sam's bedside, still studying the chart she held in her hand. "Your blood work is good," she said encouragingly, without looking up. "And your body temperature is back to normal. We'll do some follow-up work over the next few days, and of course you'll let me know if -"
Janet stopped short as she finally looked up from the chart and caught a glimpse of Sam's anguished eyes. Sam quickly schooled her expression back into bland attentiveness, but it was too late.
"Sam?" Janet dropped the clipboard onto the side table and tugged the curtains shut around the bed. "Sam, what's wrong?"
"Nothing, Janet. Really." Sam lifted her chin high.
"Talk to me, Sam," Janet urged, her voice softer now. "I can be your doctor, and offer you confidentiality. Or I can be your friend, if that's what you need right now. But please. Talk to me."
Sam stared down at her hands... and at the smooth skin above her right wrist, where the Atenik armband had clung until twenty-eight hours ago.
Janet followed her gaze, and sighed a little as she sat down on bed at Sam's side. "You don't have to be ashamed, you know," she murmured. "General Hammond was right when he said you were all acting under alien influence. The last blood work I took when you were wearing the armbands, before the three of you went through the Gate? The results were nearly as bad as Daniel's when he was addicted to the sarcophagus."
"It's not shame," Sam finally muttered, her voice barely audible. "Not for that, anyway."
Janet just waited.
"I miss it," Sam whispered at last.
"That's understandable," Janet said, keeping her tone mild and unaccusing.
"Not the strength or the power or beating up all the Jaffa, either," Sam added. She gave a miserable half-smile. "I mean, yes, it was great, but -" She swallowed. "The speed, Janet."
"The speed." Janet looked both enlightened and saddened. "Go on."
"There was suddenly enough time to do everything I wanted," Sam blurted. "I could read a book in seconds, I could type more than a thousand words a minute, I could write and work and think faster than I ever did in my life. And it was the greatest rush in the world."
She subsided a little, rubbing her left hand against her right arm. "I know it's stupid. And I want to kick myself for listening to Anise, and being so rude to you..."
"Under the influence, Sam," Janet repeated.
"It was a betrayal of trust," Sam said stubbornly.
"Fair enough," Janet agreed. "But it wasn't a betrayal in your right mind, Sam. I forgive you, all right?"
"It doesn't help." Sam rubbed her arm a little harder. "Because I still miss it."
They sat in silence for a while, sheltered by the curtain while the routine beeps and clicks and murmurings of the infirmary washed around them. Sam thought about the scream of engines in an F-16 diving towards the earth, the wind-induced tears in her eyes when she rounded a steep curve of the road on her motorcycle at eighty miles an hour, the free-fall not-here sensation of stepping across light years in seconds, even the pile of speeding tickets that she kept in a kitchen drawer. For three glorious days while she'd worn the armband, she'd had speed for the taking - all hers, without any artificial aid other than the armband herself. It was the deceptive gift of the monkey's paw, more cruel in having had it and lost it than if she'd never had it at all.
The world plodded, now. Even her blood seemed sluggish in her veins.
"You'll be allowed off-base in three days," Janet finally said. "My doctor's prescription, Major Carter, is a visit to the seediest bar that you and I can find and several large doses of alcohol."
Sam chuckled despite herself. "And when we've gotten over the hangovers?"
Janet took a deep breath. "Then I promise you, Sam, that I will finally let you take me for a ride on that accident-inducing monster you call a motorcycle." She rose to her feet and gave a quirky smile of her own. "And maybe," she added, "you can teach me how to love speed."