Lost Letters (PG)
Written for Gen Fic Day and Epistolary Alphabet Soup, for whatever letter needs filling. :)
Letters don't always survive long enough to be read. References/spoilers for Secrets, Fair Game, and Forever in a Day; includes references to Daniel/Sha're. 1,330 words. Rated PG.
Lost Letters
Khey'ama, my fierce and proud wife,
I know not if you will ever see this. I shall beg our master for the last boon of allowing this final message to reach your hands. It would comfort me to know that you received this assurance of my devotion, both to Cronus the Great and to you and our two children. But Cronus the Great must and always does come first in my allegiance, and should he in his wisdom declare that this missive cannot be delivered, I can do no more than bow my head in abject submission.
I will not even hope that my devotion to my role as his First Prime, an honor that I sought for so long and carried with such pride, might grant me some favor. Cronus the Great will judge me fairly, I know.
I cannot reveal the secret of the failure that will result in my just execution for failing to achieve glory in the name of Cronus the Great. I will only say that on my last mission, I squandered a golden opportunity to erase a persistent thorn that has plagued Cronus the Great for these two generations of Jaffa lives.
It is a curious thing that honor in others can be so easily twisted to cause great damage. I am ashamed of my reluctant respect for one who fought with such bravery for such misguided purpose. Yet I cannot help but find solace in knowing that the enemy who defeated me was a warrior of great strength. If only the glory of Cronus the Great had not been diminished with my loss! But there, that is foolishness. The past cannot be changed, and I have no future. I can only pray that with your wisdom and courage to guide him, our son Ari'ac will restore my lost honor and win back glory for our people and our master.
Whatever strength Cronus the Great does not claim is yours, Khey'ama, to share with Ari'ac and Kho'rauc.
Fy'rac
*
be sure. Yesterday, I watched Teal'c locked in combat with Cronus' First Prime. I think, Sha're, that it was hard to tell which battle was worse. There was their physical fight, a hand-to-hand whirl of such deadly intent that it's amazing they both survived. And then there was their verbal struggle. I can still hear their shouts ringing in my mind, with Teal'c trying to convince Fy'rac to choose freedom and Fy'rac screaming that Teal'c was a shol'va twice over.
I will make sure you read all these journals in order, Sha're, so that you will understand all of Teal'c's history with Cronus and the death of his father. It makes sense that the Jaffa would see Teal'c as a double shol'va - first for leaving Cronus' territory after his father's murder, and then for turning against Apophis when he rescued us. I wonder how much that history prompted Teal'c to turn against Apophis in the first place? He'd already seen his father's loyalty betrayed by a Go'auld before.
But I'm rambling again, aren't I? I can see your eyes crinkle at me, teasing me about letting my thoughts wander the way I used to let the mastadges wander off when I was supposed to be watching them. I can't
I'll get you back, Sha're. I know you're out there, still so strong. You kept Amaunet silent at that horribly crucial moment and you'll keep fighting her until we get the chance to get you back.
I wish I could
I was writing about Teal'c, and his struggle with Fy'rac. I suppose it makes sense that so many of the different First Primes recognize each other - there must be times when the Goa'uld have to meet. When we walked out of the Stargate and nearly tripped over Cronus' Jaffa, it looked like it would be a regular firefight (and oh, Sha're, when did firefights become regular to me? We'll go home when this is all over and until Fy'rac actually got a good look at Teal'c's face. He went kind of crazy after that, screaming that he was going to destroy the shol'va. At first I thought he knew Teal'c because he's infamous by now - the shol'va First Prime who joined the Tau'ri and wears the SGC uniform - but Teal'c called Fy'rac by name, and he tried to talk him down before he had to defend himself against getting killed outright.
Once they were fighting so closely, we couldn't risk shooting at Fy'rac because we might have shot Teal'c instead. We managed to take down the rest of the patrol, but all we could do after that was watch. And Teal'c - he's pretty amazing, isn't he? Even while he was fighting for his life, he still had breath enough to spare to shout at Fy'rac, telling him how Cronus had been so badly wounded on Earth and that the Goa'uld aren't gods, that the Jaffa can be free.
It was a bit of stalemate, at the end. Another patrol came running, Teal'c managed to throw Fy'rac off long enough to get him zatted, and we scrambled back through the Stargate without much dignity but at least with our skins mostly still intact. Teal'c had plenty of bruises and scrapes, but his symbiote took care of that pretty quickly. But he was so quiet, afterward. He would only say that he thought he could have convinced Fy'rac if he'd just had a little more time.
I saw Jack's expression. I know he doesn't believe it, but I do. I have to believe it, Sha're, because if there's hope for the Jaffa, then there's hope for you, too. They can be reached, just as you can. I can't believe our dreams are impossible. It's why so many of my journal entries are letters to you, in the hope that someday you'll read through them, with your thirst to know, and find out how much we
I'm sorry. General Hammond just called. Sounds like something is happening on Abydos. I'll finish this later when
*
SECURITY REPORT FORM CZ3-FF11
DATE: 10-11-1999
cc: maintenance, medical
INCIDENT DETAILS: Fire alarm on Level 18, Room 14B. Security arrived 25 seconds after alarm sounded. Medical arrived 1 minute, 12 seconds after alarm sounded.
Source of alarm traced to small, contained fire in wastebasket. Occupant of room unharmed: Dr. Daniel Jackson, civilian doctor of archeology, attached to SG-1. (see attached personnel file C0003-ALD)
Jackson reminded of regulations re uncontrolled fires within complex. No response or explanation offered.
Jackson questioned re indentification of destroyed documents. Jackson identified documents as personal papers. Jackson reminded that all paperwork and documentation within complex may not be destroyed without prior authorization from superior officer. Jackson emphasized his status as civilian. Further remarks by Jackson deemed unnecessary to report verbatim.
Superior officer arrived, identified as Colonel Jonathan O'Neill, CO of SG-1. O'Neill escorted Jackson to infirmary for follow-up medical consulation. (see attached medical report MM12-E9VZ10 dated 10-08-1999)
Maintenance attempted restoration of destroyed documentation. (see attached report form M33-PY1L) Destroyed documentation likely to be personal journals. Recommendation to ascertain possible loss of important data regarding recent missions appended in attached form CZ3-FF1541.
Major Janet Frasier, CMO, submitted attached report form MM12-E7Z44, stating that burning of personal journals was form of grief therapy that should be retroactively approved. See attached form SZ3-441IP for pending approval.
*
Scribed by Kho'tak, Keeper of Records for Cronus the Great
On this twelfth day of the festival of Kronia, disgraced former First Prime Fy'rac was excecuted for his crime in failing to achieve glory in battle in the name of Cronus the Great. In his great mercy, Cronus the Great honored Fy'rac with death by his own mighty hand.
All possessions of the excecuted were destroyed, including weapons, clothing, and personal items, to avoid risk contamination to others by exposure to such abject failure. Let all acknowledge the awesome charge to serve Cronus the Great and achieve victory in his great name.
Letters don't always survive long enough to be read. References/spoilers for Secrets, Fair Game, and Forever in a Day; includes references to Daniel/Sha're. 1,330 words. Rated PG.
Lost Letters
Khey'ama, my fierce and proud wife,
I know not if you will ever see this. I shall beg our master for the last boon of allowing this final message to reach your hands. It would comfort me to know that you received this assurance of my devotion, both to Cronus the Great and to you and our two children. But Cronus the Great must and always does come first in my allegiance, and should he in his wisdom declare that this missive cannot be delivered, I can do no more than bow my head in abject submission.
I will not even hope that my devotion to my role as his First Prime, an honor that I sought for so long and carried with such pride, might grant me some favor. Cronus the Great will judge me fairly, I know.
I cannot reveal the secret of the failure that will result in my just execution for failing to achieve glory in the name of Cronus the Great. I will only say that on my last mission, I squandered a golden opportunity to erase a persistent thorn that has plagued Cronus the Great for these two generations of Jaffa lives.
It is a curious thing that honor in others can be so easily twisted to cause great damage. I am ashamed of my reluctant respect for one who fought with such bravery for such misguided purpose. Yet I cannot help but find solace in knowing that the enemy who defeated me was a warrior of great strength. If only the glory of Cronus the Great had not been diminished with my loss! But there, that is foolishness. The past cannot be changed, and I have no future. I can only pray that with your wisdom and courage to guide him, our son Ari'ac will restore my lost honor and win back glory for our people and our master.
Whatever strength Cronus the Great does not claim is yours, Khey'ama, to share with Ari'ac and Kho'rauc.
Fy'rac
*
be sure. Yesterday, I watched Teal'c locked in combat with Cronus' First Prime. I think, Sha're, that it was hard to tell which battle was worse. There was their physical fight, a hand-to-hand whirl of such deadly intent that it's amazing they both survived. And then there was their verbal struggle. I can still hear their shouts ringing in my mind, with Teal'c trying to convince Fy'rac to choose freedom and Fy'rac screaming that Teal'c was a shol'va twice over.
I will make sure you read all these journals in order, Sha're, so that you will understand all of Teal'c's history with Cronus and the death of his father. It makes sense that the Jaffa would see Teal'c as a double shol'va - first for leaving Cronus' territory after his father's murder, and then for turning against Apophis when he rescued us. I wonder how much that history prompted Teal'c to turn against Apophis in the first place? He'd already seen his father's loyalty betrayed by a Go'auld before.
But I'm rambling again, aren't I? I can see your eyes crinkle at me, teasing me about letting my thoughts wander the way I used to let the mastadges wander off when I was supposed to be watching them. I can't
I'll get you back, Sha're. I know you're out there, still so strong. You kept Amaunet silent at that horribly crucial moment and you'll keep fighting her until we get the chance to get you back.
I wish I could
I was writing about Teal'c, and his struggle with Fy'rac. I suppose it makes sense that so many of the different First Primes recognize each other - there must be times when the Goa'uld have to meet. When we walked out of the Stargate and nearly tripped over Cronus' Jaffa, it looked like it would be a regular firefight (and oh, Sha're, when did firefights become regular to me? We'll go home when this is all over and until Fy'rac actually got a good look at Teal'c's face. He went kind of crazy after that, screaming that he was going to destroy the shol'va. At first I thought he knew Teal'c because he's infamous by now - the shol'va First Prime who joined the Tau'ri and wears the SGC uniform - but Teal'c called Fy'rac by name, and he tried to talk him down before he had to defend himself against getting killed outright.
Once they were fighting so closely, we couldn't risk shooting at Fy'rac because we might have shot Teal'c instead. We managed to take down the rest of the patrol, but all we could do after that was watch. And Teal'c - he's pretty amazing, isn't he? Even while he was fighting for his life, he still had breath enough to spare to shout at Fy'rac, telling him how Cronus had been so badly wounded on Earth and that the Goa'uld aren't gods, that the Jaffa can be free.
It was a bit of stalemate, at the end. Another patrol came running, Teal'c managed to throw Fy'rac off long enough to get him zatted, and we scrambled back through the Stargate without much dignity but at least with our skins mostly still intact. Teal'c had plenty of bruises and scrapes, but his symbiote took care of that pretty quickly. But he was so quiet, afterward. He would only say that he thought he could have convinced Fy'rac if he'd just had a little more time.
I saw Jack's expression. I know he doesn't believe it, but I do. I have to believe it, Sha're, because if there's hope for the Jaffa, then there's hope for you, too. They can be reached, just as you can. I can't believe our dreams are impossible. It's why so many of my journal entries are letters to you, in the hope that someday you'll read through them, with your thirst to know, and find out how much we
I'm sorry. General Hammond just called. Sounds like something is happening on Abydos. I'll finish this later when
*
SECURITY REPORT FORM CZ3-FF11
DATE: 10-11-1999
cc: maintenance, medical
INCIDENT DETAILS: Fire alarm on Level 18, Room 14B. Security arrived 25 seconds after alarm sounded. Medical arrived 1 minute, 12 seconds after alarm sounded.
Source of alarm traced to small, contained fire in wastebasket. Occupant of room unharmed: Dr. Daniel Jackson, civilian doctor of archeology, attached to SG-1. (see attached personnel file C0003-ALD)
Jackson reminded of regulations re uncontrolled fires within complex. No response or explanation offered.
Jackson questioned re indentification of destroyed documents. Jackson identified documents as personal papers. Jackson reminded that all paperwork and documentation within complex may not be destroyed without prior authorization from superior officer. Jackson emphasized his status as civilian. Further remarks by Jackson deemed unnecessary to report verbatim.
Superior officer arrived, identified as Colonel Jonathan O'Neill, CO of SG-1. O'Neill escorted Jackson to infirmary for follow-up medical consulation. (see attached medical report MM12-E9VZ10 dated 10-08-1999)
Maintenance attempted restoration of destroyed documentation. (see attached report form M33-PY1L) Destroyed documentation likely to be personal journals. Recommendation to ascertain possible loss of important data regarding recent missions appended in attached form CZ3-FF1541.
Major Janet Frasier, CMO, submitted attached report form MM12-E7Z44, stating that burning of personal journals was form of grief therapy that should be retroactively approved. See attached form SZ3-441IP for pending approval.
*
Scribed by Kho'tak, Keeper of Records for Cronus the Great
On this twelfth day of the festival of Kronia, disgraced former First Prime Fy'rac was excecuted for his crime in failing to achieve glory in battle in the name of Cronus the Great. In his great mercy, Cronus the Great honored Fy'rac with death by his own mighty hand.
All possessions of the excecuted were destroyed, including weapons, clothing, and personal items, to avoid risk contamination to others by exposure to such abject failure. Let all acknowledge the awesome charge to serve Cronus the Great and achieve victory in his great name.