I'm Not Preggars, I Sweartresa_choJanuary 21 2008, 15:18:17 UTC
1. "Wait. Let me get this straight." Jack rubbed his forehead in irritation. "You have to take a pregnancy test to get into the temple?"
"Yes sir," Carter replied, unfazed. Jack glared at her, growing more irritated by her nonchalance.
"Why!?" Jack asked. Daniel cast his eyes to their hosts as they watched the debate with intense interest.
"Sir it won't harm anyone, and these people have some very useful technology. They will be worth the small discomfort." Carter looked as if she were going to go ahead with it, his permission or no. Jack sighed.
"I asked why," Jack repeated, "not what harm."
"Erm, apparently, there's a curse on the temple that affects unborn children." Daniel stepped in, pushing his glasses up on his nose. "It's become policy for women to be checked before they enter to prevent stillbirths."
"Fine, fine, as long as nothing will affect us." Jack cocked his head. "Just children? No harm to the adults?"
"No sir, none that has been reported," Carter replied swiftly.
"Whatever, let's get this over with. This had better be good," Jack said. Carter smiled and was led behind a white curtain. They heard the zip of her BDUs and a squeak. Daniel had to grip both Jack and Teal'c to hold them back. Carter came from around the veil blushing but otherwise composed.
"All right sir, let's go," she said. She turned and entered the temple.
2. "This is unecessary," Teal'c rumbled in his low, soothing voice. Daniel watched, torn between laughing hysterically and trying to yank the poor doctor away from the Jaffa. "I am without child."
The doctor poked and prodded at Teal'c strange pouch, either not hearing or choosing not to listen as he drew out what appeared to be a scalpal.
"DanielJackson, will you tell this man that if he touches me with that I will be forced to break his jaw?" Teal'c said, no change evident in his tone of voice.
Daniel quickly translated for the irritated jaffa, and the doctor jerked back, his scalpal thing wavering. "But his child pouch is ruptured! It is an emergency!" the doctor said. Daniel shook his head, holding in his laughter as he explained what exactly that pouch was.
3. Jack was startled awake by the sound of something crashing through the tent flaps. He jerked up in his sleeping bag, hands on his gun before his eyes were even fully opened. A figure outside scrambled to his feet and ran away.
"Carter!" Jack barked. carter's head shot up from beside him.
"Yes sir?"
"Aren't you supposed to be on watch?"
"No sir, it's Teal'c's turn. He just went out there."
"What the hell was that?"
"That was the doctor, sir."
"Is someone injured?"
"No sir, he was trying to give me a pregnancy test."
"A what!?"
"Pregnancy test, sir."
"...Are you pregnant?"
"No sir. The test was negative."
"And... why did you need a pregnancy test?"
"Remember when we came out of the Stargate into that pool of water a few weeks ago? The locals think that if a man and woman bathe together the woman will become pregnant from semen floating in the water."
Re: I'm Not Preggars, I Swearkatie_mJanuary 21 2008, 21:38:49 UTC
"This is unecessary," Teal'c rumbled in his low, soothing voice. Daniel watched, torn between laughing hysterically and trying to yank the poor doctor away from the Jaffa. "I am without child."
"Yes sir," Carter replied, unfazed. Jack glared at her, growing more irritated by her nonchalance.
"Why!?" Jack asked. Daniel cast his eyes to their hosts as they watched the debate with intense interest.
"Sir it won't harm anyone, and these people have some very useful technology. They will be worth the small discomfort." Carter looked as if she were going to go ahead with it, his permission or no. Jack sighed.
"I asked why," Jack repeated, "not what harm."
"Erm, apparently, there's a curse on the temple that affects unborn children." Daniel stepped in, pushing his glasses up on his nose. "It's become policy for women to be checked before they enter to prevent stillbirths."
"Fine, fine, as long as nothing will affect us." Jack cocked his head. "Just children? No harm to the adults?"
"No sir, none that has been reported," Carter replied swiftly.
"Whatever, let's get this over with. This had better be good," Jack said. Carter smiled and was led behind a white curtain. They heard the zip of her BDUs and a squeak. Daniel had to grip both Jack and Teal'c to hold them back. Carter came from around the veil blushing but otherwise composed.
"All right sir, let's go," she said. She turned and entered the temple.
2. "This is unecessary," Teal'c rumbled in his low, soothing voice. Daniel watched, torn between laughing hysterically and trying to yank the poor doctor away from the Jaffa. "I am without child."
The doctor poked and prodded at Teal'c strange pouch, either not hearing or choosing not to listen as he drew out what appeared to be a scalpal.
"DanielJackson, will you tell this man that if he touches me with that I will be forced to break his jaw?" Teal'c said, no change evident in his tone of voice.
Daniel quickly translated for the irritated jaffa, and the doctor jerked back, his scalpal thing wavering. "But his child pouch is ruptured! It is an emergency!" the doctor said. Daniel shook his head, holding in his laughter as he explained what exactly that pouch was.
3. Jack was startled awake by the sound of something crashing through the tent flaps. He jerked up in his sleeping bag, hands on his gun before his eyes were even fully opened. A figure outside scrambled to his feet and ran away.
"Carter!" Jack barked. carter's head shot up from beside him.
"Yes sir?"
"Aren't you supposed to be on watch?"
"No sir, it's Teal'c's turn. He just went out there."
"What the hell was that?"
"That was the doctor, sir."
"Is someone injured?"
"No sir, he was trying to give me a pregnancy test."
"A what!?"
"Pregnancy test, sir."
"...Are you pregnant?"
"No sir. The test was negative."
"And... why did you need a pregnancy test?"
"Remember when we came out of the Stargate into that pool of water a few weeks ago? The locals think that if a man and woman bathe together the woman will become pregnant from semen floating in the water."
"Oh... well... that's not... true is it?"
"No sir, it's not. Go back to sleep."
Jack rolled over and did as he was told.
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Ha! Oh, Teal'c.
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