It coincided with the return of her memories, in which Vala saw the history of a woman who never stayed anywhere longer than was safe, made no personal connections beyond short-term physical arrangements purely for satisfaction or false friendships because she was conning someone out of something valuable. It wasn’t always a happy story, but as the infirmary used Tok’ra technology to further integrate her memories, Vala became more and more confident that it was indeed her story.
With those memories, she would have shot Daniel Jackson and fled. She’d already stayed longer than was usual, although practically-speaking she was getting nothing from these people. She was only making herself vulnerable to a number of evil and crazy forces, embedding herself on the side that was losing a war, and starting to rely on these more than likely doomed people for both safety and company. It made no sense.
When she got her most recent memories back, she changed her mind about shooting Daniel and was glad she hadn’t. And in a way, this made her want to leave all the more urgently. She didn’t like feel this odd, unsatisfied attraction. She didn’t like that even though there was undeniably heat between them, Daniel held her at a distance. She didn’t like that despite this, she had stayed where his detachment could hurt her.
Vala also didn’t like the way she tingled when she remember the rest of SG-1, and how much she liked them. She wasn’t used to having so many aspects of her life connected to things she couldn’t stick in a bag and carry with her, or sell for bigger, shinier things. The people - Sam, Daniel, Cam, and Teal’c - could be sold, of course. But not by her.
She had never been more scared than when she realized these were people she would never be able to betray.
5. When the Ori captured Daniel and Sam vanished.
It was exactly what she had known would happen. Well, not exactly. She hadn’t predicted the specifics, but in general terms she’d expected this. Daniel did something rash, dangerously stupid, and then sacrificed himself so the rest of SG-1 could escape Vala’s murderous daughter. Sam was messing with dangerous technology, trying to protect them all from - yup, still Vala’s murderous daughter - and either vaporized herself or turned herself invisible with unknown means of coming back.
Vala’s predictions ended there. In her head, she had taken this opportunity to leave. Because it would hurt, and that was always the time to leave.
And it did hurt. It stung somewhere deep in her chest, such that she found herself having to take deep breaths and swallow hard. She’s not an idiot, and she knows what grief feels like. She wants to leave, not just leave by travel backwards in time to before she cared about them, to when leaving would have made a difference.
She knows now, that no matter where she is in the universe, members of SG-1 will be with her, living or dead, inside her head and her heart. Sweet as this sounds, it also encourages her to go while she can still think of some of them as living.
Ooo, I like these. They really capture the angsty side of Vala, and thern there are funny moments like:
She’d put it between the one of his parents, the old guy with the fishing rod, and the team photo taken when Mitchell took over. And then she’d glue it to the desk surface so he couldn’t remove it. She thought if she added her face to the team photo, it might even be a while ‘til he noticed.
Bwah! The old guy. Hee! Didn't stop her from trying to climb in his lap to distract him. ;-) (It's refreshing to see a fic in which Jack doesn't immediately decide he likes Vala's moxie and the way she "keeps Daniel on his toes." She's far more of a wild card than he ever was, and I can totally buy him not trusting her.)
I loved the one with Jack! Daniel's radar must have been operating at full force to send him dashing in to the rescue when Vala was attempting to give the general a lap dance, lol.
She had never been more scared than when she realized these were people she would never be able to betray.
It's a new and frightening concept for her, isn't it? Letting people in is risky, and not in the fun way. She's come such a long way. :-)
It coincided with the return of her memories, in which Vala saw the history of a woman who never stayed anywhere longer than was safe, made no personal connections beyond short-term physical arrangements purely for satisfaction or false friendships because she was conning someone out of something valuable. It wasn’t always a happy story, but as the infirmary used Tok’ra technology to further integrate her memories, Vala became more and more confident that it was indeed her story.
With those memories, she would have shot Daniel Jackson and fled. She’d already stayed longer than was usual, although practically-speaking she was getting nothing from these people. She was only making herself vulnerable to a number of evil and crazy forces, embedding herself on the side that was losing a war, and starting to rely on these more than likely doomed people for both safety and company. It made no sense.
When she got her most recent memories back, she changed her mind about shooting Daniel and was glad she hadn’t. And in a way, this made her want to leave all the more urgently. She didn’t like feel this odd, unsatisfied attraction. She didn’t like that even though there was undeniably heat between them, Daniel held her at a distance. She didn’t like that despite this, she had stayed where his detachment could hurt her.
Vala also didn’t like the way she tingled when she remember the rest of SG-1, and how much she liked them. She wasn’t used to having so many aspects of her life connected to things she couldn’t stick in a bag and carry with her, or sell for bigger, shinier things. The people - Sam, Daniel, Cam, and Teal’c - could be sold, of course. But not by her.
She had never been more scared than when she realized these were people she would never be able to betray.
5. When the Ori captured Daniel and Sam vanished.
It was exactly what she had known would happen. Well, not exactly. She hadn’t predicted the specifics, but in general terms she’d expected this. Daniel did something rash, dangerously stupid, and then sacrificed himself so the rest of SG-1 could escape Vala’s murderous daughter. Sam was messing with dangerous technology, trying to protect them all from - yup, still Vala’s murderous daughter - and either vaporized herself or turned herself invisible with unknown means of coming back.
Vala’s predictions ended there. In her head, she had taken this opportunity to leave. Because it would hurt, and that was always the time to leave.
And it did hurt. It stung somewhere deep in her chest, such that she found herself having to take deep breaths and swallow hard. She’s not an idiot, and she knows what grief feels like. She wants to leave, not just leave by travel backwards in time to before she cared about them, to when leaving would have made a difference.
She knows now, that no matter where she is in the universe, members of SG-1 will be with her, living or dead, inside her head and her heart. Sweet as this sounds, it also encourages her to go while she can still think of some of them as living.
Reply
She’d put it between the one of his parents, the old guy with the fishing rod, and the team photo taken when Mitchell took over. And then she’d glue it to the desk surface so he couldn’t remove it. She thought if she added her face to the team photo, it might even be a while ‘til he noticed.
Bwah! The old guy. Hee! Didn't stop her from trying to climb in his lap to distract him. ;-) (It's refreshing to see a fic in which Jack doesn't immediately decide he likes Vala's moxie and the way she "keeps Daniel on his toes." She's far more of a wild card than he ever was, and I can totally buy him not trusting her.)
Reply
Reply
She had never been more scared than when she realized these were people she would never be able to betray.
It's a new and frightening concept for her, isn't it? Letting people in is risky, and not in the fun way. She's come such a long way. :-)
Reply
(The comment has been removed)
Reply
Leave a comment