Five off-world missions Paul Davis went onantares04aMarch 27 2011, 06:56:09 UTC
1. The first time Paul Davis went off-world, it was in his dreams. He had read so many mission reports from the SG teams and SG-1’s in particular that sooner or later it was bound to happen. The dream mission started out perfectly: a beautiful planet, with crystal blue lakes, sandy beaches, high, snow-covered mountains and friendly people. Everything went smoothly and everybody admired him for his diplomatic skills. But then the grey, slimy, one-eyed sea-monster attacked. When it was only a millisecond away from eating him, he woke up with a start. After a moment of disorientation he was relieved that the ugly monster was only his cat which had jumped onto his bed.
2. When he finally went on his first “real” off-world mission, it was nothing like expected. It was boring. It was hours and hours of diplomatic speeches, each one more tedious and dull than the previous one. It was endless discussions about one sentence in a treaty when all the rest had already been agreed upon two days earlier. It was … like Earth.
3. The next off-world mission was to retrieve SG-1. They had specifically asked for him and his diplomatic skills. When he arrived he knew why they had chosen him. They were stark naked, the only “things” left, where their dog-tags. So when he returned from this off-world mission clad only in his boxer-briefs with the cute, grinning pandas and his socks, it was due to the fact that he had been persuaded/forced to give his pants to Jack, his jacket to Daniel, the T-shirt to Carter and the tac-vest to Teal’c.
4. The tenth mission was almost routine for him. He would have never thought it, but you could really get blasé about going through a Stargate. At least up to the moment when the scarcely clad high priestess selected him to be her new “chosen one”. The priestess was very lovely and sexy, but hundreds of mission reports where this scenario had happened before made him suspicious. He knew he sounded like an over-cautious bureaucrat when he insisted on reading all the terms of the contract before agreeing to anything. And in the fine print he found out that the price for being covered in diamonds and gold was ten years of sexual servitude. Another look at her high heels and the black whip and he declined politely. He was after all a vanilla boy.
5. His last off-world mission wasn’t a mission per se, but he went through the gate to join his friends and colleagues on their retirement planet. Jack and Daniel, Sam and Cameron, Vala, Teal’c, Siler, Landry - they all had bought a lovely house on this peaceful planet. A wonderful place with crystal blue lakes for fishing, sandy beaches for relaxing, and high, snow-covered mountains for skiing…
2. When he finally went on his first “real” off-world mission, it was nothing like expected. It was boring. It was hours and hours of diplomatic speeches, each one more tedious and dull than the previous one. It was endless discussions about one sentence in a treaty when all the rest had already been agreed upon two days earlier. It was … like Earth.
3. The next off-world mission was to retrieve SG-1. They had specifically asked for him and his diplomatic skills. When he arrived he knew why they had chosen him. They were stark naked, the only “things” left, where their dog-tags. So when he returned from this off-world mission clad only in his boxer-briefs with the cute, grinning pandas and his socks, it was due to the fact that he had been persuaded/forced to give his pants to Jack, his jacket to Daniel, the T-shirt to Carter and the tac-vest to Teal’c.
4. The tenth mission was almost routine for him. He would have never thought it, but you could really get blasé about going through a Stargate. At least up to the moment when the scarcely clad high priestess selected him to be her new “chosen one”. The priestess was very lovely and sexy, but hundreds of mission reports where this scenario had happened before made him suspicious. He knew he sounded like an over-cautious bureaucrat when he insisted on reading all the terms of the contract before agreeing to anything. And in the fine print he found out that the price for being covered in diamonds and gold was ten years of sexual servitude. Another look at her high heels and the black whip and he declined politely. He was after all a vanilla boy.
5. His last off-world mission wasn’t a mission per se, but he went through the gate to join his friends and colleagues on their retirement planet. Jack and Daniel, Sam and Cameron, Vala, Teal’c, Siler, Landry - they all had bought a lovely house on this peaceful planet. A wonderful place with crystal blue lakes for fishing, sandy beaches for relaxing, and high, snow-covered mountains for skiing…
(Many, many thanks to AnnO for the beta!)
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