She Could Have LovedgategremlynJuly 19 2009, 19:46:30 UTC
She Could Have Loved
by GateGremlyn Gen, G, angst
It could have been the boy who sat in the next row two seats back. He was sweet and nice. He'd kissed her once in the second grade, in his backyard with music blaring from the boombox under the trees. She'd really been in love with his older brother who was not sweet and nice but thirteen, a teenager who smoked cigarettes and hung out with the big kids in the park at night. The little brother (Tim, was that his name?) had been her first kiss and she hadn't been in love with him for more than five minutes.
It could have been David Cassidy from the Partridge family who had a dreamy voice and hair she would have loved to run her fingers through. The posters in her room filled one wall-as a teenager, of course, not now. He was a little old for her, but hey, she was willing to compromise. It could have been a young Johnny Depp-or an old one. That man got better with age. Harrison Ford was a little old for her too, but who wasn't in love with Han Solo? Was she too old to write fan mail to a movie star? Dear Harrison: I'll show you my Stargate if you show me your Millennium Falcon.
It could have been Daniel. At their first meeting, she'd been in awe of him as the man who opened the Stargate. She'd been jealous of him, too, and frustrated by his lack of military skills. Then she'd been amused by his obvious problems with authority-and secretly cheered every time he went ahead and did his own thing, even as she schooled her face to the proper military frown. Then she'd been thrilled to find someone whose desire for knowledge matched her own, and whose desire for truth left her in the dust. She had fallen in love with him eventually. Naturally. He'd wormed his way into her heart, into her very being, as the brother she always wanted and the friend she could never be without.
It could have been Rodney. Really. It was a long shot, true, but Rodney had a hidden sweetness about him. Even when she was irritated with him, which was most of the time, she still found his seemingly unintentional, even unwilling devotion to his friends inspiring and occasionally intimidating. He'd be appalled to hear that it wasn't his brilliance that moved her, but his caring. She found his insecurities the most charming of all, even as she secretly harbored a desire to make him a lemon meringue pie. He made her laugh. That alone was enough to endear him to her.
It could have been Jack, might have been Jack had the world spun differently. Alternate universes were a funny thing. She'd seen what could be but she didn't regret what was. The power of choice taught a person that there was no perfect world to live in and no perfect decisions to be made. She'd chosen--as had he. Their relationship was one of equals; one, she flattered herself, that went beyond what they would have had as husband and wife. He had been and would always be the Colonel. He would always be the man with the sexy sunglasses and the wry smile. He would always be the man to whom she'd given her obedience and her loyalty, without reservation. With the Stargate program they shared the fate of the world and worked together to secure it. That was a commitment they both understood.
So she'd fallen in love in the only way she knew how, passionately and completely. She loved her life with its richness and its limitations. Her choices had followed logically, one after another, and led her to place she was today. She was successful, accomplished, and respected. She was who she was because of the the life she led. She had a job that never got boring and always challenged her to do her best-and then challenged her some more. She had regrets, of course, most people did, but she wouldn't change a thing. Most importantly, at the end of the day-and the end of a dozen or more years--she had people she loved who loved her back. Jack, Daniel, Rodney; Cassie, Janet, her father; General Hammond, Cam, Vala: all people she loved with all she had to give.
Love was a rare thing, a precious thing, a thing to be treasured. She hadn't fallen in love with anyone; she simply loved.
Re: She Could Have LovedrebeccavoyJuly 21 2009, 02:17:18 UTC
Beautiful! And I love that Rodney made the list (I didn't think of him, and wish now that I had). I think my favourite bit, though, was the fan letter to Harrison Ford, haha
by GateGremlyn
Gen, G, angst
It could have been the boy who sat in the next row two seats back. He was sweet and nice. He'd kissed her once in the second grade, in his backyard with music blaring from the boombox under the trees. She'd really been in love with his older brother who was not sweet and nice but thirteen, a teenager who smoked cigarettes and hung out with the big kids in the park at night. The little brother (Tim, was that his name?) had been her first kiss and she hadn't been in love with him for more than five minutes.
It could have been David Cassidy from the Partridge family who had a dreamy voice and hair she would have loved to run her fingers through. The posters in her room filled one wall-as a teenager, of course, not now. He was a little old for her, but hey, she was willing to compromise. It could have been a young Johnny Depp-or an old one. That man got better with age. Harrison Ford was a little old for her too, but who wasn't in love with Han Solo? Was she too old to write fan mail to a movie star? Dear Harrison: I'll show you my Stargate if you show me your Millennium Falcon.
It could have been Daniel. At their first meeting, she'd been in awe of him as the man who opened the Stargate. She'd been jealous of him, too, and frustrated by his lack of military skills. Then she'd been amused by his obvious problems with authority-and secretly cheered every time he went ahead and did his own thing, even as she schooled her face to the proper military frown. Then she'd been thrilled to find someone whose desire for knowledge matched her own, and whose desire for truth left her in the dust. She had fallen in love with him eventually. Naturally. He'd wormed his way into her heart, into her very being, as the brother she always wanted and the friend she could never be without.
It could have been Rodney. Really. It was a long shot, true, but Rodney had a hidden sweetness about him. Even when she was irritated with him, which was most of the time, she still found his seemingly unintentional, even unwilling devotion to his friends inspiring and occasionally intimidating. He'd be appalled to hear that it wasn't his brilliance that moved her, but his caring. She found his insecurities the most charming of all, even as she secretly harbored a desire to make him a lemon meringue pie. He made her laugh. That alone was enough to endear him to her.
It could have been Jack, might have been Jack had the world spun differently. Alternate universes were a funny thing. She'd seen what could be but she didn't regret what was. The power of choice taught a person that there was no perfect world to live in and no perfect decisions to be made. She'd chosen--as had he. Their relationship was one of equals; one, she flattered herself, that went beyond what they would have had as husband and wife. He had been and would always be the Colonel. He would always be the man with the sexy sunglasses and the wry smile. He would always be the man to whom she'd given her obedience and her loyalty, without reservation. With the Stargate program they shared the fate of the world and worked together to secure it. That was a commitment they both understood.
So she'd fallen in love in the only way she knew how, passionately and completely. She loved her life with its richness and its limitations. Her choices had followed logically, one after another, and led her to place she was today. She was successful, accomplished, and respected. She was who she was because of the the life she led. She had a job that never got boring and always challenged her to do her best-and then challenged her some more. She had regrets, of course, most people did, but she wouldn't change a thing. Most importantly, at the end of the day-and the end of a dozen or more years--she had people she loved who loved her back. Jack, Daniel, Rodney; Cassie, Janet, her father; General Hammond, Cam, Vala: all people she loved with all she had to give.
Love was a rare thing, a precious thing, a thing to be treasured. She hadn't fallen in love with anyone; she simply loved.
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Thanks!
Lynne
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I loved this line. But the whole thing just made me smile. :)
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LOL
He definitely did have great hair, though.
And I love Sam loving her life and loving all the people who love her back. She's content; she's chosen well. :-)
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