Comments | sg1_five_things: Prompt 5.05

starglyph in sg1_five_things

Prompt 5.05

Oct 31, 2006 08:26

Five things Daniel Shouldn't Have Touched

( ”boilerplate” )

Back to all threads

Five Things Daniel Shouldn't Have Touched - 2/2 starglyph November 12 2006, 19:30:47 UTC

Fourth- About a month later, they enjoyed their second assignation, this time in Denver. Big city, anonymous people, they could easily blend in. Jack was careful, he knew what to do, what to watch for, and explained to Daniel how to do the same. After arriving at their hotel, and making a thorough sweep for surveillance, finally, ecstatically, they made love. Now that he could explore, Daniel touched all of Jack’s body, finding each place that made him writhe with want. Promises of devotion, shouts of pleasure and moans of satisfaction were exchanged. All of it was recorded. Thirty minutes before check out, they were still in bed--stalling as long as they could before getting up to shower and leave--when the door to their room was unlocked with a key and slammed open. They allowed Jack and Daniel to dress in front of the six suits with guns, Jack was arrested, and four armed marines escorted him out. The NID didn’t concern themselves with inconveniences like rights, when someone with Jack’s clearance crossed the line; it wasn’t just ( ... )

Re: Five Things Daniel Shouldn't Have Touched - 2/2 narissala November 13 2006, 18:44:04 UTC

I like that you combined all 5 things into a single story, though I almost wish you might rewrite/expand it into a more cohesive whole. Like exactly what Jack was charged with in reference to stolen techonology and then later about why Jack was being beaten. =(

Re: Five Things Daniel Shouldn't Have Touched - 2/2 starglyph November 14 2006, 04:46:10 UTC

Sorry if this wasn't clear enough. Jack was charged with 'Conduct Unbecoming'. The stolen tech refers to the 'Shades of Grey' ep, where the NID were the ones stealing technology, resulting in the rest of this (my) story. It was merely the mentioning of T's name that got Jack punished.

Re: Five Things Daniel Shouldn't Have Touched - 2/2 whimsicalwhims November 14 2006, 04:08:52 UTC

::feels incoherent::

This story made me shudder because this is really the worst case scenario for our boys. And that last line, woah- to suffer so much and to finally get their shot at happiness only to have it all destroyed... It hurts. (Excellent writing, though).

Re: Five Things Daniel Shouldn't Have Touched - 2/2 starglyph November 14 2006, 04:48:23 UTC

Thank you very much! I appreciate it.

One touch can make a universe of difference, eh?

Re: Five Things Daniel Shouldn't Have Touched - 2/2 advection November 15 2006, 07:16:12 UTC

Very sad scenario, but really works the prompt -- he shouldn't have touched the alien thingummie and he shouldn't have touched Jack (heart, body, either, both). Of course, he should have done all those things, they just shouldn't have had those consequences .. and in my head Thor beamed Jack out of Leavenworth anyway *g* ... but the Goa'uld still might have destroyed the Earth in the end. ::sigh::

Way cool extrapolation from the prompt.

Re: Five Things Daniel Shouldn't Have Touched - 2/2 starglyph November 15 2006, 18:27:31 UTC

I find that I often have an ending, (Jack in Leavenworth prison) then fill in the backstory. My Halloween fic (last time?) was the same way. Seems to work for me. :)

Way cool extrapolation from the prompt
Trying new ways to do a list is part of the fun, thanks.

*is happy*

Re: Five Things Daniel Shouldn't Have Touched - 2/2 msbeata November 18 2006, 07:24:39 UTC

Damn. That's harsh. In a good way?

It is interesting to see J/D go bad since most fic have them living happily ever after.

Re: Five Things Daniel Shouldn't Have Touched - 2/2 starglyph November 18 2006, 19:00:25 UTC

I don't even like fics with out a happy ending, and considered doing that. The story just wouldn't let me.

Interesting how one line at the end makes, literally here, a world of difference.

Thanks for your comments. :)

Back to all threads