1. Those damn, bizarre zucchini-like things from P23-405. They were the main staple of the natives. Everybody had to exchange slices of the thing, eatting the slice received from each person, at every greeting, every single time, all damn day long. SG-1 got the runs so bad, no one dared walk to the gate. Even Teal’c succumbed, so they had to wait for Hammond to radio them to ask for an extension. Twice.
2. Brussels Sprouts. He didn’t really run across them much in restaurants or the commissary but once they’d been his preferred side dish. Sara used to make them a special way with butter, garlic and cheese that was Charlie’s favorite. She’d only make that one on holidays, birthdays and when there were A’s on a report card or maybe a home run.
3. Eggplant. Just the thought of it made him shiver in disgust. While on the 48-hour leave from the academy he and his buddies had the special, an eggplant dish at a local restaurant. They spent the rest of the night bar hopping. Afterwards they’d spent 24 hours puking. On the sidewalk, someone’s car, in the bushes, and every alley they passed. More than one of them had to throw out their shoes. They didn’t dare go back to the dorms, so spent the night and most of the next day in some grassy yard on their knees. He had the vague feeling it was a cemetery. To this day he swears it was food poisoning, but they never reported to the infirmary.
4. Artichokes. They looked and tasted exactly the same as the ones from earth. They were treasured by the natives and so important to the tribal leaders, they’d had some sent back to the SGC and pronounced safe. So, sure, they ate them at the evening feast. Afterwards they went to their campsite, had a cup of coffee and relaxed. A little too relaxed. Jack had never been so stoned. Teal’c merely sat staring at their campfire, with a little smile. He and Daniel spend a good part of the night trying to get a reaction out of him. Carter was apparently amazed and delighted by everything. She kept a running commentary of babble as she stared alternately at Teal’c’s tattoo, the stars, a weed she’d stepped on, her left bootlace and thankfully the ceiling of her tent, when ordered to bed. He’d never seen Daniel laugh so much. They’d both been nearly hysterical when Daniel almost pissed himself, barely managing to free himself from his BDU’s to pee on the side of Sam’s tent. The worst was Jack himself. Before Daniel had got himself tucked back in, Jack pretty much just tackled Daniel behind the tents and stuck his tongue in Daniel’s mouth. They’d jerked each other off and woke up with they’re hands glued to each other. They’d jumped up, shame faced and apologizing when Teal’c bellowed “O’Neill” at sunup. The SGC labs later discovered the alien artichoke was only a problem when mixed with caffeine. Thank you very much, Daniel! Jack swore he’d never seen artichoke anything on a menu before, so of course it soon showed up in the commissary on Teal’s tray. Jack felt himself flush and watched Daniel turn red. Jack also got hard and was pretty sure Daniel did, too.
5. He wasn’t sure, but Jack thought it was a lotus root or some kind of weird flower thing… Shortly after the artichoke incident, Daniel got him to try it, telling him what a delicacy it was. Daniel coaxed and enticed, charmed and sweet-talked. Jack didn’t stand a chance. Jack will never, ever tell that story to a soul. But Daniel might.
bwahaha! oh number 4.....:::faints laughing::: and five fits perfectly with it.
and i love this: "Teal’c merely sat staring at their campfire, with a little smile. He and Daniel spend a good part of the night trying to get a reaction out of him."
Five Vegetables Jack O’Neill Will Never Eat Again
1. Those damn, bizarre zucchini-like things from P23-405. They were the main staple of the natives. Everybody had to exchange slices of the thing, eatting the slice received from each person, at every greeting, every single time, all damn day long. SG-1 got the runs so bad, no one dared walk to the gate. Even Teal’c succumbed, so they had to wait for Hammond to radio them to ask for an extension. Twice.
2. Brussels Sprouts. He didn’t really run across them much in restaurants or the commissary but once they’d been his preferred side dish. Sara used to make them a special way with butter, garlic and cheese that was Charlie’s favorite. She’d only make that one on holidays, birthdays and when there were A’s on a report card or maybe a home run.
3. Eggplant. Just the thought of it made him shiver in disgust. While on the 48-hour leave from the academy he and his buddies had the special, an eggplant dish at a local restaurant. They spent the rest of the night bar hopping. Afterwards they’d spent 24 hours puking. On the sidewalk, someone’s car, in the bushes, and every alley they passed. More than one of them had to throw out their shoes. They didn’t dare go back to the dorms, so spent the night and most of the next day in some grassy yard on their knees. He had the vague feeling it was a cemetery. To this day he swears it was food poisoning, but they never reported to the infirmary.
4. Artichokes. They looked and tasted exactly the same as the ones from earth. They were treasured by the natives and so important to the tribal leaders, they’d had some sent back to the SGC and pronounced safe. So, sure, they ate them at the evening feast. Afterwards they went to their campsite, had a cup of coffee and relaxed. A little too relaxed. Jack had never been so stoned. Teal’c merely sat staring at their campfire, with a little smile. He and Daniel spend a good part of the night trying to get a reaction out of him. Carter was apparently amazed and delighted by everything. She kept a running commentary of babble as she stared alternately at Teal’c’s tattoo, the stars, a weed she’d stepped on, her left bootlace and thankfully the ceiling of her tent, when ordered to bed. He’d never seen Daniel laugh so much. They’d both been nearly hysterical when Daniel almost pissed himself, barely managing to free himself from his BDU’s to pee on the side of Sam’s tent. The worst was Jack himself. Before Daniel had got himself tucked back in, Jack pretty much just tackled Daniel behind the tents and stuck his tongue in Daniel’s mouth. They’d jerked each other off and woke up with they’re hands glued to each other. They’d jumped up, shame faced and apologizing when Teal’c bellowed “O’Neill” at sunup. The SGC labs later discovered the alien artichoke was only a problem when mixed with caffeine. Thank you very much, Daniel! Jack swore he’d never seen artichoke anything on a menu before, so of course it soon showed up in the commissary on Teal’s tray. Jack felt himself flush and watched Daniel turn red. Jack also got hard and was pretty sure Daniel did, too.
5. He wasn’t sure, but Jack thought it was a lotus root or some kind of weird flower thing… Shortly after the artichoke incident, Daniel got him to try it, telling him what a delicacy it was. Daniel coaxed and enticed, charmed and sweet-talked. Jack didn’t stand a chance. Jack will never, ever tell that story to a soul. But Daniel might.
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and i love this: "Teal’c merely sat staring at their campfire, with a little smile. He and Daniel spend a good part of the night trying to get a reaction out of him."
coffee is the good stuff. ;)
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Mmmm coffee... *g*
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*pours you a cup of coffee*
So...care for an artichoke? *g*
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I never expected vegetables could be so entertaining (and sexy)!
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Thank you!
*blush*
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Thanks so much. I couldn't just stick to gen *shivers* I can't beleive I did the Hammond one with gen *more shivers*
Lotus root is actually pretty tasty...
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And you would so eat flowers, if Daniel coaxed and enticed, charmed and sweet-talked you girl!
*g*
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#2 - Wow. Beautiful.
#3 - Well, I had eggplant and the drunken puked vegetable as different list numbers, but -- yup! Man, that was seriously technicolor. Hee!
#4 - Bwah! Stoners! Staring Teal'c and babbling Carter and glued-to-each-other Jack and Daniel.
#5 - Oh, you teasy girl! Okay, 5 stories Jack will never tell but Daniel might. Go!
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