better?
hey everyone.. i guess things have been gettin better. well i dont know. not really.. ehh i cant even explain this. i hate goin to school... there are jsut days when i just dont want to get up. like this morning!! ehh it took my 10 mins to get the energy to actually get out of my bed. i dont know whats wrong with me... well i do.. maybe.. i hope not... but nvm about that. i love brian so much.. but i jsut dont think that he deserves me. hes so amazing.. and i am so not. but i dont want to lose him.. jsut knowing that i am goin to be able to see him.. i swear thats what gets me through the day. its so hard to explain what is goin through my mind.. but its helpin me a little knowin that i am writing it down.. and trying to sort it out.. i wont update for a long time.. cuz i am goin to flordia, maybe thats all that i need.. jsut a week away.. to clear up everything. i am goin to miss you guys! i am really really goin to miss brian!!! ehh.. one week without his warmth.. i am so sad!! well i have to go get ready to leave.. we are goin to the movies!! i am so excited!!