"Pay attention, 'cause you know you'll have to pay either way."
I am before the Council of Elders, and I am nervous. They all sit at a long wooden table, discussing matters of great importance in low tones. I believe that perhaps my views will be trivial to them. My turn to speak arrives, and so I begin to tell them what is wrong with Luke's ear. I stutter profusely, but manage to describe it nonetheless. Only one elder seems pleased. It is Max, and he laughs. Mel Brooks does not.
I turn on a video game, but I do not play it. The game plays by itself. I walk away content that the electric crustacean on the TV screen can entertain itself.
Some strange people introduce themselves to me. I attempt to introduce these new people to my old friend Robbie, but when I find him, he and a gang of professional wrestlers are destroying a press-conference and starting a riot. Robbie has the biggest afro I have ever seen. I watch as he violently attacks an empty podium. Some of his friends are busying themselves by starting random fires. Afraid to approach him, I simply tell my new companions, "He's always wanted to be a wrestler."
I am invited to a party. A girl named Rachel is reading a Bird-Man Comic. I never could take Bird-Man seriously... she does not respond when I tell her this. I show everyone a picture of me, my brother Nathan, and my dog Lou. Lou is wearing a black T-shirt, but it was intended for a human. She is far too short for me to read the writing on the shirt. There is a bed in the main room of this house, but when I lay down in it I am rolled off the edge. When I stand up, a strange man with a champagne glass and a nice shirt bites my shoulder. It hurts more than I think it should. I generally try to push him away. William appears and gives me spiders. This is much in the same way you would say someone "gives you herpes," only a bit more ceremonial in nature. He puts one hand on my shoulder and chants "I give these spiders unto you, may they nest and settle on you ..." I can't recall the entire incantation, because I was too busy trying to brush off thousands of spiders as they crawled up and down my back and neck and into my hair.
I experience this party many times over, and each time it happens exactly the same as the last time. I am aware of this, and make an attempt to change it. When I am given the spiders, I fall to the ground. William is standing over me now, with one foot on either side of my waist. Grabbing ahold of his right foot, I try to pick it up and push him over. He doesn't budge. Though it takes a great deal of concentration, I finally manage to lift his foot off the ground and flip him to the side. He stumbles and falls down, and almost crashes into Karen, who almost crashes into the television.
Keeping William's right foot sounds like a good idea to me, so I pick it up and put it over my shoulder. This makes him hop backwards on his left foot with his right leg bent 90 degrees in the opposite direction of comfort. I am amused by this.