Bachelorhood isn't easy
I have finally come to terms with the fact that I make a lousy bachelor. I can't seem to live this bachelor lifestyle properly. It's quite embarassing to have people over and show them my flat. But I just can't seem to force myself to live that way.
My idea of a bachelor pad is a place where I can lounge about all day reading whatever I please. Whenever I don't clean up, there are books strewn all about: the dining room table, the sofa, even the bed. I understand that this version of bachelorhood is a little archaic.
I'll throw my clothes into piles, which is promising; except I sort them by colours, which defeats the purpose.
It's not like I don't try to live like a slob. Sometimes, I leave my dishes in the sink, but then I have to cook something so I clean them all. Oh yes, cooking. So I decided that I would indulge in a bachelor supper tonight: beans with pork. Pretty standard fare, hmm?
Well, I dug around in the pantry and found some dried beans, which I reconstituted this morning and drained. Then I found some bacon in the fridge from my expedition earlier in the week. Well, then we need something to go with it, so the bacon goes into the bottom of my pressure cooker with some diced red onion. After that started smelling good, I dumped in the beans, some ketchup, maple syrup, brown sugar, mustard, and cayenne. I clamped the lid on and cooked them for about fifteen minutes. I'm eating them now with a bit of toast and they're really quite good.
I don't think I'll ever get this right. Help?