self-mandated handcuffs

[sf_gabs]

I'm not sure what this entry is for, other than I'm tired of writing journals on Myspace where everyone feels obligated and hurt when they can't read your blogs. You know, people, sometimes blogs aren't for others...sometimes blogs are just for me. And, that should be okay. So, what has been happening? Well, slept with another friend of mine.

Comments

[sf_gabs]

I appreciate your input...and I don't know...I'm not sure. I don't know if it's being tied down, or the feeling of obligation that consumes me when I feel like I 'have' to be with that person...which IS stupid, b/c on one side, I've been craving someone in my life who I can turn to, but on the other side of that, I've never given it a 2-way street. Like, right this second as I was typing, I realized I've wanted someone to turn to, but I've never given any thought to that perosn being able to turn to me. I basically want a one-way relationship that works in my favor. Man, I am uber lame. Perhaps if I saw relationships as give and take, as opposed to just giving or just taking. I think it all stems from my past dealings...I've always been the one to give, and eventually, I just got tired of giving so much and never receiving anything in return (i.e. emotional support, love, affection, time, devotion...etc) And, I wouldn't mind being with someone for a lengthy period of time, as long as I found that time to be ...precious....useful....I can't think of the right word. Validated, I guess. I'm not sure exactly; something like that. eh....