WORLD EXCLUSIVE EXTRACT FROM CHERYL'S NEW BOOK (PT.2)
'F*** you... F*** BGT... F*** orange and purple outfit. F*** the big hair. F*** you all. I hate you'
Cheryl Cole rant at Cowell after X Factor USA sacking
CHERYL Cole today reveals for the first time the true depth of her anger after being sacked from the US version of The X Factor - including the incendiary text she sent to show boss Simon Cowell.
The 29-year-old singer says: “The coward didn’t even have the guts to phone or send a message warning me.”
And in the second part of The Sun’s serialisation of her new book, Cheryl: My Story, she reveals he later called the decision “the worst he ever made” as he struggled to mend their severed friendship.
X FACTOR in America was a chance for a fresh start. I should have been on Cloud Nine - but I felt dead inside.
There was not one spark of excitement, nothing at all. I wasn’t even particularly nervous.
I’d picked out an outfit for the first day that I was comfortable with - purple trousers and an orange top - and I’d decided to have big hair.
I felt ready to start, but that was about it.
Simon was acting like a weirdo, puffing out his chest as we went through to a holding area where the contestants were waiting nervously.
“Good luck to all of you”, he said. “We’re looking for stars.”
It was the same spiel I’d heard countless times in the UK, but something was different.
He seemed more arrogant than ever and he began speaking quite rudely to the contestants as he told them what to do and where to go next.
“Are you OK?” he said to me briefly. “Yes”, I replied, because I felt absolutely fine.
I was just thinking to myself: “I’m not sure you are.”
That first day of auditions went well. I put my work head on and got on with it. I was pleased I’d got off to a good start.
Quite unexpectedly, Simon then strode up to me, chest puffed out again, and told me: “The crazy hair goes tomorrow” before turning on his heels and walking off.
“What’s all that about?” I thought.
He called me later that night to make the same point again. “The crazy hair goes tomorrow and you need to be more yourself.”
I was really annoyed now. “What happens to your f***ing hair, and when do you start being yourself?” I retorted.
I had already planned what I was wearing for the second day - a cream sleeveless top and dark trousers. And I decided to have my hair plaited loosely on one side because it suited the outfit.
I had no idea if Simon would like it, but frankly I didn’t care what he thought. Nobody had told me he’d suddenly become a fashion expert.
There was a break of a few days after the LA auditions, which suited me as I could go to the Cannes Film Festival for L’Oréal, as they’d asked me to walk the red carpet for them.
Simon called while I was still in Cannes, which immediately wiped the smile off my face.
“Do you want to go home and be a UK judge?” he asked me.
I was stunned.
By that time I’d already told everyone I wasn’t doing the UK X Factor again. I’d made that clear when it was finally announced I was going to America. I’d done three years of the UK show.
I wasn’t going back.
This was irritating beyond belief. The only reason I was doing the American X Factor was because Simon more or less told me I was doing it.
“I’m just wondering if you would consider it?”
“No. Absolutely not.”
“So you definitely won’t. You want to do the American one?”
I felt like screaming at him: “Why have you left it until now to ask me this? Are you crazy?”
But I replied: “I’ve started now, haven’t I, Simon?”
“OK. Seem more like yourself when you get back then”, he warned.
The conversation really annoyed me but I put it down to Simon being under a lot of pressure himself.
At the next auditions Lily England, my personal manager, noticed Simon and Nicole Scherzinger together.
“I swear they’re whispering. Something’s not right,” she said. I focused on the auditions, which went really well.
We had a two-week break after the Chicago try-outs as Simon had to be back in the UK for Britain’s Got Talent.
Before we left, Richard Holloway, the X Factor’s executive producer - who I had worked with for years - asked if he could meet me in England when I was back there.
He made it sound a casual thing. But after we got back to London he rang asking to see me urgently.
Alarm bells were ringing, and I met him in a hotel a couple of days later. He looked awkward and weird as I walked in with Lily.
“Right, there’s no easy way of saying this”, he said.
“You’re going to be replaced on X Factor America, but your chair’s still here for you in X Factor UK.”
I had that numbness I’d had when I first took the job.
“No, I don’t want it, thank you”, I said.
“What do you mean?”
“I mean I don’t want the X Factor UK chair back, but thank you.”
Richard had the front to tell me I needed to think about my career - he also offered me Gary Barlow’s role as chief judge. It felt wrong on so many levels.
He even made reference to my Geordie accent, which I really took exception to, knowing American TV executives had flown out to see me before hiring me.
“Thank you, Richard. I don’t want the job, but thank you for the offer. By the way, who am I being replaced by?” I asked.
He paused for a moment then said: “Nicole.”
It was clear he was doing Simon’s dirty work for him.
The UK auditions were due to start in a week. I knew it was going to be horrible for me now in the media whatever happened next.
“I can’t get over the fact that ‘big man’ Simon, the same guy that told me I had the job and told me ‘don’t wear that hair’ couldn’t tell me I didn’t have the job! The coward didn’t even have the guts to phone or send a message warning me what was coming”, I told Lily.
In days it was all over the press.
“Cheryl sacked from The X Factor USA because of her Geordie accent.”
There were spiteful remarks on my orange and purple outfit and big hair too, which was a joke.
That same week, Vogue had named me as ‘Best Dressed of the Week’ because - although Simon didn’t know it, of course - colour blocking was about to be the next big thing.
On top of that Sarah Jessica Parker had worn the same hair as I’d had and got loads of praise for it in the American press.
I was furious with Simon for letting it happen like this. I believed we had a good friendship and I couldn’t understand why he just hadn’t been straight with me.
I wrote the longest text ever. I apologise about the bad language, but this is how he made me feel.
“F*** you. F*** Britain’s Got Talent. F*** the orange and purple outfit. F*** big hair. F*** the UK X Factor. F*** you all.
“I hate you. I understand you’re a businessman, and what I’ve learned from this is that business means more to you than friendship.
“I’m sad it’s got like this and I wish you the best of luck, but count me out.”
Simon texted back: “Can I talk to you?” I ignored him.
Then I switched the phone off and didn’t speak to anyone unless it went through Lily.
In the end I decided to text Richard Holloway.
“What did I ever do to you to deserve this treatment?” I asked.
We’d worked together for three years, and now it started to sink in that I actually felt more hurt than angry about what he’d done.
“This is the saddest day of my working life”, was his reply.
Finally Simon issued a formal statement announcing my departure from the American X Factor. Thank God! I was so relieved.
I had no real feelings towards Nicole, by the way. I was pretty sure she had pitched for my job because she is very, very ambitious - but I didn’t know the full facts.
If anything, I felt sorry for her because she was the one who was going to be under scrutiny, and I wouldn’t wish that on anybody.
At the end of 2011 I went to Afghanistan to meet the troops. It was a huge eye-opener about what our soldiers go through and put a few things in perspective for me.
For a laugh, the soldiers dressed up a dummy to look like Simon and invited me to press a detonator and blow it up. I thought it was hilarious and really enjoyed the joke. And when I got home I received a text from Simon.
“Now you’ve blown me up in Afghanistan, can we talk?” he said.
I had not spoken to him for six months. I replied, “I’ve just flown home and am really emotional. I’ll let you know when I can talk.”
It was his 52nd birthday in a couple of weeks and I’d heard he was trying to keep quiet about it.
I saw an opportunity to have some fun at his expense and arranged for a little plane to fly around his house in Miami exactly 52 times, trailing a banner that said: “Simon Cowell is 52 today! Ha ha ha! Love Cheryl xoxo.”
Another text arrived soon afterwards, saying: “I.am.going.to.kill.you” - and then my phone rang.
“It’s good to talk to you”, Simon said. “I wasn’t in the right frame of mind in LA, because of all the expectation on the American show.”
He told me that my comment to Richard Holloway, when I said “I’m getting there” on the first day of auditions, set alarm bells ringing.
“Wow. I see”, I said.
“Taking you off it was the worst mistake I ever made and if I could have my time back, I wouldn’t do it again”, he said.
“I’m sorry.”
“Thank you for saying that.”
“And by the way, you’re looking good. I’m happy to see you smiling again, and I hope we can work together in the future.”
It was October 2011 now, and I felt like I was healing more and more all the time. Breaking the ice with Simon was part of the process.
I didn’t want to work with him any time soon - but to be in touch again felt like a cloud had been blown away from my life.
TOMORROW: My Malaria nightmare
Source: The Sun