(no subject)
i realize i never update.
But i'm actually gonna try harder to update? Because lately i just havent been myself, and writing always makes me feel better oddly enough.
So lately i feel like my life is meaningless. i just cant find anything to smile about. i dont know whats wrong with me. Nothing seems to be going my way. i just hate how i always feel unhappy.
I'm really sick of seeing everyone "in love", honestly, i dont believe love exists. Or if it does, i just havent found it. whats the point of having a relationship with someone, when they'll probaly just end up breaking your heart? maybe i'll change my mind one day, but probaly not.
I really hate hearing people tell me i'm beautiful. Because honestly i look in the mirror and i dont see it. maybe i'm just wierd.
People just irritate me lately. they tell me" oh you seem down lately" and i'm like oh really, no kidding idiot. i dont know. i'm just so confused i dont know whats up. nothing can make me smile anymore.
Homecoming is next week, and i honestly wouldnt go if i didnt love my dress.
went to sunshoppe last night. and that was actually kinda fun? gary makes me laugh. alot. And tom just like obsessing over his new shoes is quite entertaining.
Powderpuff is this week. is it bad to say i really dont care who wins? i really have no school/class spirit. its sad. but i do love my class ring. alot.
I started writing a piano piece this week .i like it. its like evanessence meets beahtoven. i thing i'm gonna change up some parts in it though. Thursday i just sat down at the piano for like 2 hours. and played. i havent done that in awhile. i forgot how relaxing it was. and on friday i played for about an hour. and then today i've already done like an hour. i serisouly love piano. wayy more than sax.
Jazz played at the middle school pep rally. wow. the middle school is crazy. Like wayyy more school spirit than we ever had in middle school . although we never really had school spirit. It reminded me of the scene in mean girls where they all turned in to animals.
Oh. and my cell phone is broken. so dont call it. cause i obviously wont be able to answer it.
Well i'm gonna look for something to do.