GRRRRRRRRRR cause I fucking can damn it

[sexytxlezbian]

This just isn't my week. Everything seem to be going wrong and I can' t stand it cause everything was going great and falling into place and now....now nothing seems to be going right. I hate feeling completely out of control of my life. I hate it cause I end up doing something to make me feel more in control and it always blows up in my face. it starts out as an itch to get my life back into control then it becomes a feeling of needing to do something, then i think on it and and make it make sense to do such things (like justify it to myself or some stupid shit) then i think on it more till I have myself convinced thats what needs to be done, then i do it and always always regret it with all that I have. And I feel myself doing it again and I can't stop it. I don't know that I want to stop it anymore. It almost seems more trouble not to do it than to do it. But it could be so worth it to not do it And I want to think on it more but I can't cause Lexy is sick and wont stop crying and I can't find her meds cause mom put them somewhere and doesn't remember where and I haven't been to bed for the night yet cause i worked till 7:30 and Lexy hasn't napped yet and wont nap.... and on top of her being sick she is teething and that just makes it all the worst. No one is around that can help cause my little bro is asleep and personally i wouldn't trust him to watch her while I nap cause he is a violent person..I mean come on he has hit me before cause he could (but just the once cause I scared the shit out of him), he likes to bully those that he doesn't think can stand up for themselves. and being that Lexy is sooooo damn fussy i wouldn't want him to lose him temper with her cause then i would have to kill him with out a second thought.

Ok I think I am done bitching for now
Oh yeah I hate being a woman they care to damn much I wouldn't mind being a man cause they can be emotionless. Done get me wrong before I had Lexy I could be as cruel and heartless as a man with out a second thought. Do what I want when I want with who I want and not give a damn what they thought but now there are complications to many complacations.......