DEPRESSED
i dont know anything anymore. I dont think i want to live in Florida anymore. I just hate everything soo much right now, my relationship with this guy is not going too well at all. john and kyle know how much he means to me but somehow no matter how happy i want to make him i just cant, its always the exact opposite. i tell him how important he is to me all the time and he doesnt believe me. " we always hurt the ones we love" no matter what i cant accomplish what i really desire. its the most depressing thing in the world. i hung out with this guy today and i was in a bad mood cuz i had to go to work and school is depressing me and the fact that this guy told me he thinks this lindsey girl i know is hott makes me even more depressed because he saw a pic of her and said she was hott and she looks like a crack whore. everytime something happens between me and him i wind up crying to john and kyle about it. the thing is i care about him more than anything and john and kyle know that. kyle told me, " if i knew a girl liked me and i knew she cared half as much about me as u care for him then id be so happy" kyle asked me if this guy was really worth all this trouble? if he was worth getting upset over and if so then what is it about him that makes me care so much? and if not then y do i still make an effort? all i could say was yes. but i was confused a little, i explained to kyle that this guy has not been with another girl since me and he asked if it was because he cared for me or if it was because he just didnt really want to do it with anyone or he couldnt get any. I couldnt help but to think of all the girls that i know for sure he could get some from and if he really wanted to then i know for a fact that he could. but he hasn't. and i dont understand y, if he likes me and hes not getting with other people because he cares about me then y does he not just ask me out, i know for a fact that id be sooooo happy if he did something like that. I wish he would like do something really sweet for Valentines Day. gotta jet Peace!