But I know it's a lie what your keeping inside, that's not how you wanted to be...
The harder she tried to forget him, the more she remembered him. The more she tried to hate him, the more she wanted him to look at her with those blue eyes of his, and smile that smile of his that never failed to stop her breath.
To be completely honest, I can't pretend to be your friend. My short, unemotional answers are my way of pretending like I don't care. More truth? I care more than you'll ever know. When I hear certain sounds or see things on TV that remind me of you and everything you're about, I worry. When people ask me what I'm thinking about and I answer with "I'm just thinking" it's because I don't feel like telling people that every now and then you cross my mind. And just when I think I'm okay and you aren't in my life, a text message or IM or glance at you brings back any feeling I ever suppressed. And I hate that because that is just telling me that you have some control over me. So what do I do about it? I pretend that it doesn't bother me, I try to erase the good and bad things that I think about when it comes to you because they hurt equally. I told you once that things don't change and you told me they would. Will things change? Eventually. I just don't know when that day will come.