The Magical Ruler
Apparently someone at work has a magical ruler or some other impossibly precise measuring tool. Yes, a magical ruler that allows the user to determine dimensions of hardware exactly to 1/100th of an inch, or, even more remarkably, to 1/100th of a centimeter.
I understand the importance of having extremely accurate and precise measurements for masses and volumes of hardware that needs to me manifested for space shuttle flights, but this is getting ridiculous. I now have to appear before a board of NASA employees and ask them to approve changes in a document because my1 measurements using a non-magical tape measure2. Yes, my measurements of the muscle stim machine (30.4 x 39.2 x 15.4 cm) are clearly not as precise as the numbers in 'the database' (29.997 x 39.20 x 15.011 cm)!
OH! But perhaps all that is needed is a lesson in significant digits, and the impossibly precise measurements have come from a conversion of inches to centimeters- which is nearly as annoying but a little less obnoxious). Alas, no, those measurements are also magical: 15.44" x 11.81" x 5.91"!
I may have to admit defeat here. Measurements taken by two engineers and a biologist are no match for those already in the infallible database3. Perhaps it was no fault of the humans; the tape measure, a sensitive device, may have been out of calibration as a result of improper handling.
In any case, the disagreeing measurements need to be resolved and documents need to be updated... at the cost of time that could otherwise be devoted to pursuit of science, of knowledge, of space exploration, and of taxpayer dollars.
1- Actually there were two other people there with me. Engineers, even. Apparently biologists are not to be trusted with sophisticated equipment.
2- The non-magical tape measure did, however, come from bonded storage and has a calibration sticker. How the hell do you calibrate a tape measure? I suppose this is exactly why a biologist is not to be trusted with seemingly simple measurements.
3- I wonder how databases are created, and where numbers come from to populate them? Probably a race of super-humans with superior reasoning skills, magical measurement devices, and flawless data-entry skills.
I understand the importance of having extremely accurate and precise measurements for masses and volumes of hardware that needs to me manifested for space shuttle flights, but this is getting ridiculous. I now have to appear before a board of NASA employees and ask them to approve changes in a document because my1 measurements using a non-magical tape measure2. Yes, my measurements of the muscle stim machine (30.4 x 39.2 x 15.4 cm) are clearly not as precise as the numbers in 'the database' (29.997 x 39.20 x 15.011 cm)!
OH! But perhaps all that is needed is a lesson in significant digits, and the impossibly precise measurements have come from a conversion of inches to centimeters- which is nearly as annoying but a little less obnoxious). Alas, no, those measurements are also magical: 15.44" x 11.81" x 5.91"!
I may have to admit defeat here. Measurements taken by two engineers and a biologist are no match for those already in the infallible database3. Perhaps it was no fault of the humans; the tape measure, a sensitive device, may have been out of calibration as a result of improper handling.
In any case, the disagreeing measurements need to be resolved and documents need to be updated... at the cost of time that could otherwise be devoted to pursuit of science, of knowledge, of space exploration, and of taxpayer dollars.
1- Actually there were two other people there with me. Engineers, even. Apparently biologists are not to be trusted with sophisticated equipment.
2- The non-magical tape measure did, however, come from bonded storage and has a calibration sticker. How the hell do you calibrate a tape measure? I suppose this is exactly why a biologist is not to be trusted with seemingly simple measurements.
3- I wonder how databases are created, and where numbers come from to populate them? Probably a race of super-humans with superior reasoning skills, magical measurement devices, and flawless data-entry skills.