(no subject)
well..once again. we arent together. but i broke it off this time. too much has changed.or maybe its me..maybe its him. im not really sure anymore.. words and actions towards me are different than what he promised he would never do... and i get so angry at him i snap and dont really remember what i say or what i do. i knwo he is under alot of stress. i tried to help. i got out of his way let him vent but it was all released on me and i guess i just got tired of it.. and released all of mine. he pawned the ring...somethign i never though he would of down. i know he hates me....but i still love him but he isnt brandon. maybe he cant handle this stress and is pushing everyone away. well i regret what i did and i regret what i said and i regret ending but i got tired of being pushed away...i got pushed so far away and got so tired of struggling and him not noticing me trying that i gave up and started walking away. i think he saw it too and that really probably ddint help teh situation at all jsut made him more angry at teh fact i wasnt chasing after him.i jsut cant handle im exhausted. he stopped trying. he stopped askign how i was doing , if i feel good, if i had a good day, if i needed anything...he just gave up..maybe he doesnt see it know but he will later.i jsut dont know what to do anymore it seems like everything in my life i try to do the right thing but then again it turns around and all falls apart.i got worse with my anger because he never would listen to me and at this point in my life and all that im going threw he needed to be there he promised...i tried to be there for him but he declined..what si a girl to do...well im left wondering once again..uncertainy..but then again i would rather be uncertain that sure of everything...thats jsut how i work...it would be boring if i knew all the answer...