Kristen's 17th Birthday

[sexyrunt101]

Today would have been the 17th birthday of one of my best friends. Kristen would have loved it bc it would have been her first summer birthday since i've known her and its on a staurday. It makes me wonder if things would be differnt if she was still alive, would she and i be talking again, and if we were talking would i be "seeing" the guy i am now, or would i be with someone else, would i be happy with how things are now, would i be on better talking terms with kaitln, would her parents still hate me, a bunch of stuff is going through my mind right now. Its really really hard to not have her here. I've only gone to see her cross once, my friend Dan took me to see it, which was really nice of him. I really appreciated it. I wanted to go see it again, but i dont have the emotional strengh to go by my self. I want to go there and sit next to the cross put flowers down and just sit. But im not sure. I dont know if im ready for that. There are some people who dont understand why i cant go, i dont fully understand why i cant, i guess im afraid. I dont know. Its hard to explain. But my friend Dan was really supportive about it, he told me stories about some of his friends that died in a car accident and it made me feel a lot better that someone understood what i'm going through. It was really nice. I felt a little bit better knowing i can go to someone outside of my social circle in my neighborhood who will understand me and what i'm feeling. I just wanted to say thank you to him. And i wanted to say Happy Birthday Kristen, i know you would have been so happy today.

~Heather

<3 Kristen