evil flows within my veins,its getting harder 2 remain humane,the knife is sharpened more each night
Saturday was okay. Chilled around then was held hostage over angela's. I chilled with her and nick. he was nicer. he tried to grab my neck. he can hold angela down. they played ddr. it was fun... ish. =) later that night pat came over and was complaining about his gullbladder. i almost died because we thought he has gas. it turned out it was gastritus. I dont know though... he left late. I stayed up till like 5am with nick. IOH! i was sleepy. I finally went to bed. I woke up, went home, got dressed. Than had a big arugment with my dad about nick... again! He said when i'm 16 i can see him. that's one year. and he said that he might take ang away from me. He said other things too. like... "why not make a friend in birmmingham?" ugh.. whatever. he said worse things. Both my parents think im so stupid, they go "there parents are probably sitting there patting them on the back saying oooh go you- you got a macomb girl!" they think hes using me for other girls up here and whatever. I know hes not. I was extremly mad at my dad. So i went to angela's after i walked around the block. she was on the phone with nick so i just kinda chilled there. I was really upset though, for the whole day, i cried, angela noticed. Taking away people from me is not good. So I'm over angelas for 3 hours shes fighting with her mom about her nick, and i forgot what her mom said, but she said something about the way i was raised and blah. I finally got sick of it. I yelled at angela for awhile cause she needed to know it's not always about other people, it's about herself sometimes. I came home and told my mom how the whole family over there says i hate her cause i blame her for my g-mas death, and that im so depressed and alone, and i need therepy or to talk to somebody. It made her mad, she doesn't want me over there now. My dad calls me into the living room... and is talking to me and DECIDED Nick can come over for halloween! Too bad the only way he could get up here was if nick k was comming which he might not now, and plus i dont think my aunt and uncle would drive him and stuff too. I dunno though. They say now we'll see how it goes and what will go on. Apparently though, I'm a physco depressed ineed-of-a-therepist stupid messed up girl with an eating disorder. whatever though. im fine. decent. dont have an eating disorder. im not depressed now. im alright and fine.... the thing is though. Can I really wait a year to maybe ever see nick again? and could he even wait? :-\