(no subject)
i dont know why it hasnt hit me yet that people are leaving soon... as in like monday. like... where did the time go? it just hasnt hit me. like.. all day i have been in some sort of trance.... maybe i dont feel it as much becuz i am not really leaving. and maybe i just know that i will see the people i really care about in a few weeks anyway. it will be weird not spending my brithday with friends, but... OU with raina, umhb/college station with the hudgins, geena, kara and meg. i do plan on going to louisiana atleast once and prolly hit up tech. i mean... i can make these decisions becuz i will have nothing to do this semester, but, hopefully those people will have a free weekend or two.
iono, it does kinda suck that ima be here all alone though... maybe thats why i am a lil bitter. i have been distancing myself away from some more than others, only becuz... its hard. i dont know how to deal with it any other way. but... time will fly, i just know it. christmas will be here before we know it... and then january 9th when i can officially move into my dorm. iono... i am sad, but... not heartbroken. there are just some people we will sadly forget over time.. but i have shared too many learning experiences with some of my friends that i cant imagine ever really forgetting them.
iono, i just feel like i havent been given enough time. i worked way too much this summer and though i work with really awesome people... my heart hurts that that time didnt go to my best friends. gah... the things i would change. i just feel i have so much to say. and no time. ashlie leaves on monday and i have too much to tell her. i still have to somehow give her my gift that has been sitting in the store for quite some time. iono...
i have done sooo much changing.. and i havent even talked to anyone about it... well, cept nik.... i just... dont know anymore. i was doin some research on my lj from past summers becuz of some crisis that is going on at work.. and last summer's entries were way different from this summer's. its... weird... its not that i wasnt happy, but i was so different. i mean, am i changing into this horrible person that thinks way too much now? part of me wanted to finish where we left off last summer with the movie nights and random visits, and funtimes, and when that didnt turn out, i was sad.. but it was quickly replaced with dancing. and when that never happened, it was ok. cuz it was work. and then i was happy with the randomness that came with summer... not realizing that i was the only one who changed with it... everyone else seemed to be the same... and i was off in my own lala land. this summer, as many will agree, wasnt as miraculous as last summer, but... i feel my bonds are deeper and this summer we are just better off with how things are going. i read in heather's lj that she is really good at starting up where she left off with someone after not seeing them for a long time, i really hope i am too. i have done that with some people... and sucked badly with others. time will tell.
im not a shy person. i make friends quickly... but... the bond... that special bond... damn... i am going to miss not having it right by my side everyday walking through the halls of ghs. and even though i am soo excited about going away and making the best memories ever, i still want you guys to know.. that i really do care about you. everyday i grow more and more thankful of the friends i made and how they turned out. some of us have made mistakes and some of us just seem to always get it right, but... when we are together, it doesnt matter. we are just.. us. boy crazy, music loving, drama hating, single, deeply committed, crazy dancing, party hoppin, hot tub soakin, beautifully orchestrated people... and i adore each and every one of you.
i'll see you guys soon enough...and you know who "you guys" are. peace out nuggas.
~Michele
*someone make me cry... i just have this feeling it will make me feel so much better*
iono, it does kinda suck that ima be here all alone though... maybe thats why i am a lil bitter. i have been distancing myself away from some more than others, only becuz... its hard. i dont know how to deal with it any other way. but... time will fly, i just know it. christmas will be here before we know it... and then january 9th when i can officially move into my dorm. iono... i am sad, but... not heartbroken. there are just some people we will sadly forget over time.. but i have shared too many learning experiences with some of my friends that i cant imagine ever really forgetting them.
iono, i just feel like i havent been given enough time. i worked way too much this summer and though i work with really awesome people... my heart hurts that that time didnt go to my best friends. gah... the things i would change. i just feel i have so much to say. and no time. ashlie leaves on monday and i have too much to tell her. i still have to somehow give her my gift that has been sitting in the store for quite some time. iono...
i have done sooo much changing.. and i havent even talked to anyone about it... well, cept nik.... i just... dont know anymore. i was doin some research on my lj from past summers becuz of some crisis that is going on at work.. and last summer's entries were way different from this summer's. its... weird... its not that i wasnt happy, but i was so different. i mean, am i changing into this horrible person that thinks way too much now? part of me wanted to finish where we left off last summer with the movie nights and random visits, and funtimes, and when that didnt turn out, i was sad.. but it was quickly replaced with dancing. and when that never happened, it was ok. cuz it was work. and then i was happy with the randomness that came with summer... not realizing that i was the only one who changed with it... everyone else seemed to be the same... and i was off in my own lala land. this summer, as many will agree, wasnt as miraculous as last summer, but... i feel my bonds are deeper and this summer we are just better off with how things are going. i read in heather's lj that she is really good at starting up where she left off with someone after not seeing them for a long time, i really hope i am too. i have done that with some people... and sucked badly with others. time will tell.
im not a shy person. i make friends quickly... but... the bond... that special bond... damn... i am going to miss not having it right by my side everyday walking through the halls of ghs. and even though i am soo excited about going away and making the best memories ever, i still want you guys to know.. that i really do care about you. everyday i grow more and more thankful of the friends i made and how they turned out. some of us have made mistakes and some of us just seem to always get it right, but... when we are together, it doesnt matter. we are just.. us. boy crazy, music loving, drama hating, single, deeply committed, crazy dancing, party hoppin, hot tub soakin, beautifully orchestrated people... and i adore each and every one of you.
i'll see you guys soon enough...and you know who "you guys" are. peace out nuggas.
~Michele
*someone make me cry... i just have this feeling it will make me feel so much better*