deep thoughts
so, I was doing this thing on myspace that my sister had posted as a bulletin. You start with ten years ago, then 5 years ago, then 2 years ago, and then yesterday. And, it just blew my mind how in ten short years, granted that is really about half my life, I have grown so much. As a child I didn't really know myself, I didn't feel comfortable with who I was . I wanted to be cool, I wanted to fit in. I hated being the smart kid, I felt like such a dork. I liked boys, but would get so nervous around them, and then say stupid shit. I remember once, I think in 6th grade, I had a thing for simon levinson, oh g-d yuck, I know. Everyone did back then actually, but that's not why I did. I just liked him. So, erin and I worked up all her courage at her house, the one on roycourt, and I remember I was sitting in her den, and she called simon, and we finally got through, and she was going to call and tell him I liked him, but I was listening in, and he thought it was a mean joke, b/c I got nervous and started laughing. he was like real funny, and hung up! I was like geez, I'm a moron. that was a long time ago, haha I wonder if that's why I always felt like he was a jerk to me, doubtful! I remember her was so cocky though! Yeah middle school was just awkward! I was still wearing stretch pants in 6th grade, and growing out what was left of my bad idea , getting a perm, and yeah it was just awkward in every sense of the word. In high school when I was 17, 5 years ago, I knew more about my self. I was a million times more confident. I had also lost weight, and I just felt great. I was still a little bit shy, and definitely innocent (I know that's changed a ton haha), but I very much had the attitude, fuck it, I don't give a shit. I had a blast, I was hanging out with michelle, maya,lauren, marla, and some others, and I loved them, we always had so much fun!! I wanted to graduate high school with them!! Anyway through college I learned who I was, and was still confident, and had a blast. I grew comfortable in myself. I learned who were my friends and who were not. I had my first boyfriend. I made mistakes, but I learned from them. I was single and crazy. I met another boyfriend. I had the best roomates my very last yeear, and the funnest house. College was great. I thought I was an adult going to college but college is not the real world. Where in the real world, can you skip all your work, b/c you feel like sleeping in from your late night before. It's just not possible. Waking up late now for me in work, was like today around 9:30 am, that's super late. In college, my last year, my earliest class was 11 am, and that was hard to get to. Also, I had no classes on fridays. It's weird too, two of my most closest friends (mira and erin) I met when I was a little kid, like 2 and 4 years old. It's weird how someone as a kid could pick friends that would last at that age. Hmm...I've been nostalgic since it became real to me that I was graduating. However, I'm not even sure if the fact that I graduated has fully sinked in, I feel like i'm just working for the summer, I think it will become more of a reality, when I'm in the US, working, and visiting dave who will still be at umich in school. It will be weird,even though I'll be visiting, I'll never be able to go back to that time. You can never go back, but I will remember the fond and not so fond memories. Everything I learn from! I've done a lot of stupid things, but they all helped shape me into who I am!