School starts
Today was my first full day at school. I got into chamber singers (of course, lol). I hung out with Michelle for a long time today too, and was reminded of how time in-between classes can stretch on forever. Anthony did his choir audition too and did a good job.
I found myself in the hallway looking at my locker today about to freak out and have a panic attack or something. I just looked around and felt like I was going to start sobbing, so I went to my car. Anthony tagged along so I tried to keep it together and when I started driving I just started to sob. Anthony tried to cheer me up and I got it together after a few minutes.
I don't want that to happen a lot but I have a feeling it's going to have to happen naturally at least a little in order for me to not just hold everything in all the time. I feel like a burden when I cry in front of people and like it puts them in a difficult position and that they end up feeling responsible for me in some way. I think I also want to be someone that others look up to, and if I have a lot of problems or am sad and stuff it makes that more difficult.
I have been so bleary eyed because of crying. :(
I'm trying to get things together to move though. I'm afraid to start packing my things, it seems so painful.
I found myself in the hallway looking at my locker today about to freak out and have a panic attack or something. I just looked around and felt like I was going to start sobbing, so I went to my car. Anthony tagged along so I tried to keep it together and when I started driving I just started to sob. Anthony tried to cheer me up and I got it together after a few minutes.
I don't want that to happen a lot but I have a feeling it's going to have to happen naturally at least a little in order for me to not just hold everything in all the time. I feel like a burden when I cry in front of people and like it puts them in a difficult position and that they end up feeling responsible for me in some way. I think I also want to be someone that others look up to, and if I have a lot of problems or am sad and stuff it makes that more difficult.
I have been so bleary eyed because of crying. :(
I'm trying to get things together to move though. I'm afraid to start packing my things, it seems so painful.