what to do..... ;(

[sexymephisto]

Wow well hello i havent wrote in this in mos so i will now cause i need somone to talk too so this will be it...... Well yesterday i helped my moms cous move her shit from storage to her house and the boxs and shit was wet and moldy and i think the mold spores got into my throat and now it hurts like hell and its kind hard to breath or even eat.. well she lives a few blocks away from mehnea's (my vmp moms house) so i went to say hi and my ex was there which was kool cause i kinda squashed shit with her and Xander who which they slept together and how she says she feels nothing for him which i dont kno... well she hasnt blown him cause he told mehnea she hasnt to him yet and that gets him mad and she told me im bigger than him woo hoo 1 point for me wait no blowing she dont lov him thats 3 pts really well all i kno is we keep talkin and shes like i know u and i will never get back together like we used to be things will be diff i was like ya i know.... but theres somone else in my life now that im datting and she like ya i kno and i go i just cant say bye like nothing and she cant say bye to xander like nothing.. so the only thing we can do is run away and ummm theres one more part shes pergo with my baby im not sure if its mines but for now im gonna take it as its mines. i'm still lookin for a job im thinking baout selling drugs or cig or somehting damn it i need $$ im gonna have a kid on the way and noting to give it and that hurts me i want to give the world to my kid but how can i do that when me and the moms not even together u kno what i mean ::tears coming down his eyes..:: i want this kid i really do but i dont want it to be with out a family like i WAS AND SHE WAS..... I WANT THE BEST THE BEST FOR MY KID... AND I DONT THNK I CAN GIVE IT TOO HIM U DONT KN HOW THAT FEELS I REALLY NEED A JOB THO I REALLY DO I NEED TO DO SOMETHING WIT MY LIFE.. Well lets see i also like this girl i just cant be like bye cause ys i still have love for my ex unfortually i really dont kno what to say or do... im inbetween ppl one i lov and hurt me and a chick who's willing to giveme everything and is really kool so now im fucked oh great the fuck it song is playing:: crys a lil:: "I EVEN SAID U WAS MY GREAT ONE NOW ITS OVER BUT I DO ADMIT I AM UPSET ITS HURTS REAL BAD BUT I CANT SWEAT THAT CAUSE I LOVED THE HOE"
great now my immoral ..... damn it! i dont kno what too do can someone help me and give me ya ideas thanx