The school year was
full of many ups and downs. It seems more downs than ups to be completely honest. I lost a lot of friends and gained a few new ones. I barely/rarely talk to anyone from Allen Park anymore. I talk to Melissa and Melanie and that's about it. I guess it's good so I'm not influenced to do drugs or anything anymore. The only time that Melissa wants to talk to me anymore is to bitch to me about Miguel. He's a deadbeat Melissa. He's not going to change. He's stringing her along and telling her one second he wants to be there for her and the baby and the next second he doesn't want anything to do with her. She thinks that she is powerless in this situation, but she really isn't. He is bullshitting the hell out of her and she doesn't seem to care. I've never really seen Melissa like this and it hurts to just stand on the side and not be able to do anything. She could have the power in this situation. The first step is to tell him to fuck off, make him see that she CAN/WILL do it without him and is fine. In time he'll either come around or not. Honestly I hope not. I know that it sounds horrible to say that I don't want her to have a "baby daddy," but in all honesty it would be much better for her and the baby until he gets his shit together. Right now all he is focused on is playing games with Melissa, smoking mad weed, drinking alcohol like it's his life substance, and taking part in internet drama (whick Melissa needs to get out of too). It's all ridiculous and I know she's pregnant, and that I can't relate so to speak. But when you're not emotionally involved in a relationship or situation it's a lot easier to see what is wrong and what can be done. If she reads this I hope she isn't hurt or mad, it's just the truth and it's only because I love and care about her and don't want to see her hurt.
I still talk to Gabe and stuff, but we don't really get to hang out as much as I'd like. He's doing his own thing and I'm doing my thing and whatever. We still talk and whatnot on a regular basis but I wish that we could hang out more often. We hang out with different people and stuff though so it's hard. He's always hanging out with his friends from work who like to keep things strictly "work people" so when he invites me to go I feel like a jerk and don't even really want to go. I'm afraid that they will say something and not want me there or whatever. It's nice that he's finally found a group of friends to hang out with, it's just too bad that it's not really Noreen and I anymore.
I miss Todd a lot and that's all there is to say about that one. I am planning a trip to Columbus though (When/if I get a car; If The Deb forgets to take her 'make amanda's life more difficult' pill)
I honestly don't know what to say about Terrance anymore. We used to be so close, and such good friends towards the middle/end of Freshman year and until about Christmas of this year. He really was one of my best friends and I miss it a lot. Maybe it's because I started to hang out with Noreen? Can he see bits of Noreen in me? I'm honestly still the same person Terrance, and to have you push me away hurts like a bitch. Maybe it's because I didn't do heroin with him when he wanted me to. I may not seem like I have values/morals and the whole nine yards, but I honestly do and I thought it was wrong to do...if you don't wanna talk to me for that I don't really understand but I'll accept it. Maybe having relations does change things more than I know? I thought it was the same, maybe it wasn't. I really don't know and it's all so confusing. Tears stream down my face as I write this because he does not call, return my calls, or make any effort whatsoever. I know that what he's going through right now is EXTREMELY difficult. I have witnessed addiction, rehab, overdosing, and all of that first hand with my mother. I love Terrance so much, but he just disappears and doesn't stay in touch no matter what efforts I make. It hurts so much, probably more than he even cares to realize.
There's not really much to say about anyone else right now, I'm too tired and hafta wake up early.
I still talk to Gabe and stuff, but we don't really get to hang out as much as I'd like. He's doing his own thing and I'm doing my thing and whatever. We still talk and whatnot on a regular basis but I wish that we could hang out more often. We hang out with different people and stuff though so it's hard. He's always hanging out with his friends from work who like to keep things strictly "work people" so when he invites me to go I feel like a jerk and don't even really want to go. I'm afraid that they will say something and not want me there or whatever. It's nice that he's finally found a group of friends to hang out with, it's just too bad that it's not really Noreen and I anymore.
I miss Todd a lot and that's all there is to say about that one. I am planning a trip to Columbus though (When/if I get a car; If The Deb forgets to take her 'make amanda's life more difficult' pill)
I honestly don't know what to say about Terrance anymore. We used to be so close, and such good friends towards the middle/end of Freshman year and until about Christmas of this year. He really was one of my best friends and I miss it a lot. Maybe it's because I started to hang out with Noreen? Can he see bits of Noreen in me? I'm honestly still the same person Terrance, and to have you push me away hurts like a bitch. Maybe it's because I didn't do heroin with him when he wanted me to. I may not seem like I have values/morals and the whole nine yards, but I honestly do and I thought it was wrong to do...if you don't wanna talk to me for that I don't really understand but I'll accept it. Maybe having relations does change things more than I know? I thought it was the same, maybe it wasn't. I really don't know and it's all so confusing. Tears stream down my face as I write this because he does not call, return my calls, or make any effort whatsoever. I know that what he's going through right now is EXTREMELY difficult. I have witnessed addiction, rehab, overdosing, and all of that first hand with my mother. I love Terrance so much, but he just disappears and doesn't stay in touch no matter what efforts I make. It hurts so much, probably more than he even cares to realize.
There's not really much to say about anyone else right now, I'm too tired and hafta wake up early.