I just realized I like: Beautiful, Cute, Hawt(hot), and Sexy plural nouns

[sexykurumi]

With my recent acquired anime figures of late. Have I noticed this, but I believe I've known for a while. I think my attraction with these "things" is that they are nothing like me. Now don't get me wrong I have the same attraction to "persons" as well. Men are very attractive TOO me, though I am not very attractive TOO them. Thus! Telling why my favorite characters ARE my favorite character. Take Kanu from Ikki Tousen my FAVORTIE character from the series. She is freaking Beautiful, Cute, Hawt, and Sexy. But she is also Tall, Has long hair, and is really strong. These are all Qualities I don't have, which attracts me. Now for real or fake men that I'm attractive too. Let's take... A real guy Zachary Quinto. He is Beautiful, Cute, Hawt, and Sexy. But also Smart, Talented, Funny, and Good at what he does. Again these are all Qualities I do not have, which again attracts me. Yes I have high standers, which means I'll never be happy. But damn it I don't want a guy thats just like me, no one wants that... Right? I don't want a guy who is Fat, Ugly, Stupid, Short, and lives with his parents. Nor does a guy want that in a girl(me).

I got angry at myself and took a break and now pretty much forgot what else I wanted to say. So I'm going to leave this topic.

Last night I couldn't stop thinking about Luke and putting me and him together in scenarios... So to try and stop them from escalting beyond kissing. I started chanting to myself that "I just want to die" over and over again. It seemed to work I fell asleep crying.

Okay I'm done bringing everyone down

~Cortney Hutchcraft