I'm not a color, but a shade of gray...

[sexykurumi]

I'm this blob of gray that has never counted for anything. Then one day I thought that I was breaking free, but of course I was wrong. Like always any thing that involves me I'm wrong! I just don't understand...? What good am I if I can't love my self? I'm no good for anyone I'm stupid. I try to use big words, I try to be something other then I am. A Lycan... If only I was a werewolf, I could change who I am. I don't want to be here any more, this place called "Hate". I hate myself that's the truth. I don't think there has ever been a time I actually liked who I was/am. I'm just here, but not... I am a blurred gray blob of nothingness... When I'm with anybody or anywhere I don't feel anything... What can this mean?

Their is this japanese song I love it hits me. I'm going to type the english lyrics of it and post the video after it all. I have a feeling the words with reach you as it has me, maybe for different reasons then mine. But you'll have feelings for it no less.

"Love is war" Sung by Hatsune Miku

Now there's no where to go
In the heat of this love
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH...(screaming)
Gray clouds
Monochrome bustles
Sunlight cast shadows
Dusk is changing it's color
Ah, the world is blurred
Even so will I still love you...?
I know this, though what should I do?
What can I... How can I... What a fool... I am...
Let's begin,
This is war!
Oh, to see you pleased with someone else!
Earnest love
That is sin
I will show
How I feel.
The megaphone I tried shouting in was broken
How hard I try to overreach myself
I would fail to get into your sight.
Ah, a clear sky slid be
But it doesn't suit at all
I couldn't get a hold of my feelings
How can I... What can I... Crying... no, I'm not... I love you
Fight it out
Shoot right to the heart
I don't have a choice
Show off my skirt flap
I shall make you gaze upon me
Get ready to intercept
War situation still a drawback.
Love is blind...
Yes, I'll be awaken by your kiss

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