Weird Day
Alright, to start this all off...
I get into class and my straight friend, Brittany looks at me (the weirdo lol) and says "hey lover" as if it was something she said everyday. I said hey and then realised what she said. It's so weird.
Then tonight, after Kathy left I talked to Tasha. And she said she couldn't have a shower without someone there 'cause she'd hurt herself (like she did tonite). I offered to come on Saturday if she hadn't have one and just sit there and make sure she would be ok. Well, she said basically "I would like that... but I wouldnt be able to keep my hands off of you". This is weird because.. well, yeah. lol
Anywho, I spent a few hours with my darling tonight. Not enough time *sigh*. I'm trying so hard not to think about how perfect/complete I feel around her. Mostly with the fact that I don't wanna die of depression when she leaves in 12 days as I am reminded. It hurts to love this much and to have actually found the one I have been waiting for in my love life. And now to loose her to England... it's not right. Why is this the way my life always is? I can't be allowed to just be absolutely ecstatic and overjoyed and stay that way. Life just.. sucks. She is just amazing. I want to be her's so badly. She makes my day and to see her smile and hear her laugh just makes me feel so.. complete. Like today, .. wow, I nearly just called her my girlfriend. *sigh* Anyway, like today.. she came to my place tonight and we watched t.v. and then i spent the time tickling her, the usual flirting, and she held my hands, and looked in my eyes, and.. it was amazing. I would do anything to just... this isn't fair. I'm torturing myself.
Ok, better end this before I get sad. And ah she just made me cry. "u are amazing and i cant wait until i get the chance to get to know everything about you."
Ok, point blank of this entry:: it was a weird day and... Kathy is so amazing; like usual. *sigh*
I get into class and my straight friend, Brittany looks at me (the weirdo lol) and says "hey lover" as if it was something she said everyday. I said hey and then realised what she said. It's so weird.
Then tonight, after Kathy left I talked to Tasha. And she said she couldn't have a shower without someone there 'cause she'd hurt herself (like she did tonite). I offered to come on Saturday if she hadn't have one and just sit there and make sure she would be ok. Well, she said basically "I would like that... but I wouldnt be able to keep my hands off of you". This is weird because.. well, yeah. lol
Anywho, I spent a few hours with my darling tonight. Not enough time *sigh*. I'm trying so hard not to think about how perfect/complete I feel around her. Mostly with the fact that I don't wanna die of depression when she leaves in 12 days as I am reminded. It hurts to love this much and to have actually found the one I have been waiting for in my love life. And now to loose her to England... it's not right. Why is this the way my life always is? I can't be allowed to just be absolutely ecstatic and overjoyed and stay that way. Life just.. sucks. She is just amazing. I want to be her's so badly. She makes my day and to see her smile and hear her laugh just makes me feel so.. complete. Like today, .. wow, I nearly just called her my girlfriend. *sigh* Anyway, like today.. she came to my place tonight and we watched t.v. and then i spent the time tickling her, the usual flirting, and she held my hands, and looked in my eyes, and.. it was amazing. I would do anything to just... this isn't fair. I'm torturing myself.
Ok, better end this before I get sad. And ah she just made me cry. "u are amazing and i cant wait until i get the chance to get to know everything about you."
Ok, point blank of this entry:: it was a weird day and... Kathy is so amazing; like usual. *sigh*