Lustful Liasons/ the Onion Theory
I've skipped chemistry today. It isn't just a normal skip, but a special skip. I am now sitting beside my wife D, and we are holding hands with one another as I type. She does not notice I am writing this about her, as she is completing a chemistry lab. She is wearing a brown long-sleeve, a cut which goes just above her nipples. Quite revealing, you might say...but to me she is too covered up. I cannot wait until later when I ravage her, and make that brown long sleeve's collar get lower and lower until finally it has hit the ground. Oh...I love the way she's pressing her fingers against the calculator keys...mmm yes harder...ohhh harder...bang those keys! OH YES.
lol anyways, back to reality. I hate vaginas. I don't know what it is really, I just do. Actually, I do know why. You know, they are like onions. They have all these layers...the clitoral hood, the clitoris....lots of little different flaps and names and buttons to press- nowonder how the straight male can get mesmerized quickly on all of the whistles and trinkets of the vagina. Anyways, back to the onion. The vagina, not only having layers, smells like an onion. Maybe a good cleaner may not, but I do declare that a vagina does, in fact, smell like a onion left outside on a hot summer day. And then there comes the biggest thing. Like onions, Vaginas MAKE ME CRY! they're fucking scary beasts!!! all that skin, with the hair on top and flappy shit coming form ever which way....Jesus if it had teeth they could make a movie based on it. Vaginazilla. Being the gay friend and it being cool and all, I've seen a few vageroos in my life. I mean, I think I've conquered my long-time fear of vaginas, but I wouldn't dive my tongue right in it. For all I know they could have teeth and are hiding them behind a flap and STICK THEM OUT WHEN I LEAST EXPECT IT! I will never love vaginas. and so, I have written a poem in memory of the vagina.
I do not know
how things shall go
when life takes turns
through a high and low.
but through it all
fat, thin, big or small
we have one thing
we hate most of all.
It makes me cry
I can't even try
when I see you, vagina
I wish I would die.
That fishy smell
I can't even tell
how I hate you, vagina
so I'll put it all in a nutshell.
You smell like fish
not the one on a dish
you'd go away
oh, how I would wish
You captivate boys
you make them your toys
then you crush their dreams
and all of their joys.
you have many flaps
I heard it raps
If I ever went to see it
I'd need a few maps.
In conclusion, you see
I can say this with glee
I am happy to say
vagina, stay away from me!
peace.
So yeah, pretty poem eh? lol I wrote that a while ago in about 5 minutes. OH! I lost hearing in my right ear, and so I waited a few days to see if it would just clear up..but ti didn't. So I go to my doctor and he cheks me out..and he's not sure what it is...so he pulls out this HUGE ASS metal syringe...fills it with water...then shoves it in my ears...then PUMPS THE WATER IN MY EAR about 4 or 5 times. it felt weird...but I'm cool now. Anyways, I'm all cool and it's about lunch time :) yayyyyy.
ttyl
you know you love me
xoxo
C.
lol anyways, back to reality. I hate vaginas. I don't know what it is really, I just do. Actually, I do know why. You know, they are like onions. They have all these layers...the clitoral hood, the clitoris....lots of little different flaps and names and buttons to press- nowonder how the straight male can get mesmerized quickly on all of the whistles and trinkets of the vagina. Anyways, back to the onion. The vagina, not only having layers, smells like an onion. Maybe a good cleaner may not, but I do declare that a vagina does, in fact, smell like a onion left outside on a hot summer day. And then there comes the biggest thing. Like onions, Vaginas MAKE ME CRY! they're fucking scary beasts!!! all that skin, with the hair on top and flappy shit coming form ever which way....Jesus if it had teeth they could make a movie based on it. Vaginazilla. Being the gay friend and it being cool and all, I've seen a few vageroos in my life. I mean, I think I've conquered my long-time fear of vaginas, but I wouldn't dive my tongue right in it. For all I know they could have teeth and are hiding them behind a flap and STICK THEM OUT WHEN I LEAST EXPECT IT! I will never love vaginas. and so, I have written a poem in memory of the vagina.
I do not know
how things shall go
when life takes turns
through a high and low.
but through it all
fat, thin, big or small
we have one thing
we hate most of all.
It makes me cry
I can't even try
when I see you, vagina
I wish I would die.
That fishy smell
I can't even tell
how I hate you, vagina
so I'll put it all in a nutshell.
You smell like fish
not the one on a dish
you'd go away
oh, how I would wish
You captivate boys
you make them your toys
then you crush their dreams
and all of their joys.
you have many flaps
I heard it raps
If I ever went to see it
I'd need a few maps.
In conclusion, you see
I can say this with glee
I am happy to say
vagina, stay away from me!
peace.
So yeah, pretty poem eh? lol I wrote that a while ago in about 5 minutes. OH! I lost hearing in my right ear, and so I waited a few days to see if it would just clear up..but ti didn't. So I go to my doctor and he cheks me out..and he's not sure what it is...so he pulls out this HUGE ASS metal syringe...fills it with water...then shoves it in my ears...then PUMPS THE WATER IN MY EAR about 4 or 5 times. it felt weird...but I'm cool now. Anyways, I'm all cool and it's about lunch time :) yayyyyy.
ttyl
you know you love me
xoxo
C.