just_muse_me | 12.1.3. Quote by Unknown
12.1.3. “Sometimes I wish I were a little kid again, skinned knees are easier to fix than broken hearts.” - Unknown
Co-written with drcampbell
[Follows THIS, THIS & THIS]
“Sorry?” Lachlan said as he paced back and forth with his sobbing son in his arms. “I thought you just said you kissed Riley?” It took a lot to get Lachlan frazzled, but today was one of those rare moments. Tara was at the hospital visiting Chase so the new daddy was left holding the baby and the infant had done nothing but cry for the last two hours.
Pat watched Lachlan pacing, nursing the tiny baby in his arms and doing everything to try and get the crying to stop. “Is something the matter with him?” he asked in concern, his own prior statement mostly forgotten.
“I dinnae know,” Lachlan fretted, looking down at his son. His little face was red and wet from the tears. It was breaking Lachlan’s heart, but he knew he needed to learn not to panic and freak out. “He doesnae have a fever, but I think his wee stomach might be upset. He vomited his whole feed back up this morning and his nappy before wasnae for the fainthearted. But what? You kissed Riley?!”
“Maybe you should take him to the doctor?” Pat suggested, biting his lip.
Lachlan stopped the pacing and blinked at his pal. “Um, hello. Doctor in the house,” he said pointedly. “I didnae get my MD from a box of Cheerios and dinnae change the subject. Patto, what the feck is going on?”
Pat rubbed his head. “Sorry, I’m not thinking straight. Do you want me to hold him for a while?” he offered. He could feel Lachlan’s eyes on him and he winced a little. “We fucked up and I hurt Aiden. I fucked up,” he corrected.
Lachlan scrunched his nose up and shook his head. “Nay, he’s just filled his nappy again. I’ll change him first. Keep talking,” he instructed and went over to the coffee table to pick up the baby bag.
“My god,” Pat said when his nose caught exactly what his godson had just done. He put his hand over his nose and mouth. “That can’t be healthy, darling.” Still, it was hard to get used to the sight of Lachlan as a dad. He had that natural knack, but the old days when Lachlan was a free and wild spirit back in Scotland were still fresh in Pat’s mind. His mind, body, heart and soul were all in his family now.
“It’s nay his fault he’s got a sore tummy,” Lachlan threw back defensively. He knelt down on the floor and used his free hand to pull the change mat from the bag and carefully eased his son down onto it. Riley was not impressed to say the least and the sobbing turned into outright wailing. “Oh hell, my wee laddie. You’re gonna give your Daddy a minor stroke here, or at the very least, a migraine. Talk louder, Patto. If my son’s godfathers are at risk of killing each other, I kind of need to know on account we’re trying to arrange his Christening and all. Are you going to be drowning each other in the Holy Water?”
Pat gave a small sigh. “No, it’s not like that. We kissed. The only reason I’m avoiding Riley is because I’m worried it will just piss Aiden off more. And I know what you’re thinking, so stop it. It was just one of those moments where emotions were spilling over. No matter what, Riley is always going to be special to me, but you know it’s nothing like that. Unfortunately, Aiden doesn’t. Aiden didn’t know anything because I hadn’t gotten around to telling him about my history with Riley. He didn’t even know Riley swung both ways. Now he’s gone back to New York hurt and angry and I don’t know what to do.”
Lachlan was dragging a generous handful of baby wipes from the container in preparation for peeling the dirty nappy off. He looked up at Pat. “You need to talk to him, that’s what you need to do. It doesnae matter what he’ll say or how much you’re scared to hear it, you have to talk to him ASAP. Dinnae let it go any longer, Patto. You cannae take back the hurt from nay telling him, but you’ll make a huge mistake if you let this damage any trust between you two. You need to show him eluding him on this wasnae purposeful. You told him about this kiss but you couldnae blame him if he is now thinking you were keeping the history with Riley from him because there is still feelings there.”
Pat nodded and put his hands over his face tiredly. He knew everything Lachlan was saying was right… it usually was when his friend was offering advice. “Do you know we’ve been together three months this weekend? Three months. I didn’t think he would want to stick around three weeks. He has done everything he can to help me and bent over backwards to make it work through everything, and this is how I repay him. Then I further fuck him over by having second thoughts about moving to New York,’ he said quietly, his face still hidden in his hands.
“You arenae a terrible person, Pat. Not for any of that. This is your home and you’re ill. It’s scary to be thinking about uprooting to a completely new and different environment. It doesnae mean you dinnae love him and dinnae want to be with him because I know you do. I can see it in your eyes,” Lachlan told him and peeled the soiled diaper back, rubbing his son’s tiny tummy in the process. “It’s okay, angel. We’ll make it all better.” Some relief in the tears came when the diaper was removed, so he got rid of the dirty one and just slipped the clean one under his son’s butt, not doing it up just yet. It wasn’t going to hurt anyone if the baby went nappy-less for a little bit. He was a wee Scot after all.
“You really know what you’re doing there, don’t you, darling?” Pat noted with a faint smile. “It suits you.”
Lachlan glanced up, laughing softly. “Nay, I dinnae know what the feck I’m doing, really. I’m just winging it. It’s good to hear I’m at least keeping up appearances. It’s times like this I feel like I’m totally screwing it up… I wouldnae change it, though. Damn, Pat, can you believe it? I really did it. After everything, I really have a wee son.” He became a little tearful as the emotion caught him again. “And I think we did a pretty fucking fine job, aye?” he added with a smile.
“He’s perfect, Lachie. And he’s one of main reasons I don’t want to leave Princeton,” Pat admitted sadly. “If I go to New York, I’m going to miss everything. It’s not like you can just drop around for impromptu visits there, is it? I can’t run right over here the first time he smiles or laughs or takes his first steps. How am I supposed to be an effective godfather to him if he’s here and I’m there? I want to be part of his life and I want to be here when you and Tara need me to help, even if it’s only now and again. I feel like I’m being torn in two and needing to choose between my godson and Aiden and no matter how hard I try to think around it, nothing is giving me the answer I need. I don’t damn well want to make excuses, but I’m so ridiculously confused. The kiss with Riley would never have happened if my head wasn’t like a train wreck. But I’m glad he was there with me. I’m not apologising for that. It was hurting and I didn’t want to be alone.”
Lachlan looked at Pat, then down at his son, and then back again. “So, ask Aiden to come here. New York isnae in exile. It’s just over an hour’s drive away. Maybe the change of pace would do you both some good. Maybe a whole new home together and a change of scenery is just what the doctor ordered…” He smiled softly at his friend. “Dinnae be fearful of talking to your love, Patto. About anything. One day probably in the not too distant future he’ll be a whole half of you… nay just beside you.”
All muses mentioned here are referenced with permission and are from the princeton2nyc universe
Word Count | 1,405
Co-written with drcampbell
[Follows THIS, THIS & THIS]
“Sorry?” Lachlan said as he paced back and forth with his sobbing son in his arms. “I thought you just said you kissed Riley?” It took a lot to get Lachlan frazzled, but today was one of those rare moments. Tara was at the hospital visiting Chase so the new daddy was left holding the baby and the infant had done nothing but cry for the last two hours.
Pat watched Lachlan pacing, nursing the tiny baby in his arms and doing everything to try and get the crying to stop. “Is something the matter with him?” he asked in concern, his own prior statement mostly forgotten.
“I dinnae know,” Lachlan fretted, looking down at his son. His little face was red and wet from the tears. It was breaking Lachlan’s heart, but he knew he needed to learn not to panic and freak out. “He doesnae have a fever, but I think his wee stomach might be upset. He vomited his whole feed back up this morning and his nappy before wasnae for the fainthearted. But what? You kissed Riley?!”
“Maybe you should take him to the doctor?” Pat suggested, biting his lip.
Lachlan stopped the pacing and blinked at his pal. “Um, hello. Doctor in the house,” he said pointedly. “I didnae get my MD from a box of Cheerios and dinnae change the subject. Patto, what the feck is going on?”
Pat rubbed his head. “Sorry, I’m not thinking straight. Do you want me to hold him for a while?” he offered. He could feel Lachlan’s eyes on him and he winced a little. “We fucked up and I hurt Aiden. I fucked up,” he corrected.
Lachlan scrunched his nose up and shook his head. “Nay, he’s just filled his nappy again. I’ll change him first. Keep talking,” he instructed and went over to the coffee table to pick up the baby bag.
“My god,” Pat said when his nose caught exactly what his godson had just done. He put his hand over his nose and mouth. “That can’t be healthy, darling.” Still, it was hard to get used to the sight of Lachlan as a dad. He had that natural knack, but the old days when Lachlan was a free and wild spirit back in Scotland were still fresh in Pat’s mind. His mind, body, heart and soul were all in his family now.
“It’s nay his fault he’s got a sore tummy,” Lachlan threw back defensively. He knelt down on the floor and used his free hand to pull the change mat from the bag and carefully eased his son down onto it. Riley was not impressed to say the least and the sobbing turned into outright wailing. “Oh hell, my wee laddie. You’re gonna give your Daddy a minor stroke here, or at the very least, a migraine. Talk louder, Patto. If my son’s godfathers are at risk of killing each other, I kind of need to know on account we’re trying to arrange his Christening and all. Are you going to be drowning each other in the Holy Water?”
Pat gave a small sigh. “No, it’s not like that. We kissed. The only reason I’m avoiding Riley is because I’m worried it will just piss Aiden off more. And I know what you’re thinking, so stop it. It was just one of those moments where emotions were spilling over. No matter what, Riley is always going to be special to me, but you know it’s nothing like that. Unfortunately, Aiden doesn’t. Aiden didn’t know anything because I hadn’t gotten around to telling him about my history with Riley. He didn’t even know Riley swung both ways. Now he’s gone back to New York hurt and angry and I don’t know what to do.”
Lachlan was dragging a generous handful of baby wipes from the container in preparation for peeling the dirty nappy off. He looked up at Pat. “You need to talk to him, that’s what you need to do. It doesnae matter what he’ll say or how much you’re scared to hear it, you have to talk to him ASAP. Dinnae let it go any longer, Patto. You cannae take back the hurt from nay telling him, but you’ll make a huge mistake if you let this damage any trust between you two. You need to show him eluding him on this wasnae purposeful. You told him about this kiss but you couldnae blame him if he is now thinking you were keeping the history with Riley from him because there is still feelings there.”
Pat nodded and put his hands over his face tiredly. He knew everything Lachlan was saying was right… it usually was when his friend was offering advice. “Do you know we’ve been together three months this weekend? Three months. I didn’t think he would want to stick around three weeks. He has done everything he can to help me and bent over backwards to make it work through everything, and this is how I repay him. Then I further fuck him over by having second thoughts about moving to New York,’ he said quietly, his face still hidden in his hands.
“You arenae a terrible person, Pat. Not for any of that. This is your home and you’re ill. It’s scary to be thinking about uprooting to a completely new and different environment. It doesnae mean you dinnae love him and dinnae want to be with him because I know you do. I can see it in your eyes,” Lachlan told him and peeled the soiled diaper back, rubbing his son’s tiny tummy in the process. “It’s okay, angel. We’ll make it all better.” Some relief in the tears came when the diaper was removed, so he got rid of the dirty one and just slipped the clean one under his son’s butt, not doing it up just yet. It wasn’t going to hurt anyone if the baby went nappy-less for a little bit. He was a wee Scot after all.
“You really know what you’re doing there, don’t you, darling?” Pat noted with a faint smile. “It suits you.”
Lachlan glanced up, laughing softly. “Nay, I dinnae know what the feck I’m doing, really. I’m just winging it. It’s good to hear I’m at least keeping up appearances. It’s times like this I feel like I’m totally screwing it up… I wouldnae change it, though. Damn, Pat, can you believe it? I really did it. After everything, I really have a wee son.” He became a little tearful as the emotion caught him again. “And I think we did a pretty fucking fine job, aye?” he added with a smile.
“He’s perfect, Lachie. And he’s one of main reasons I don’t want to leave Princeton,” Pat admitted sadly. “If I go to New York, I’m going to miss everything. It’s not like you can just drop around for impromptu visits there, is it? I can’t run right over here the first time he smiles or laughs or takes his first steps. How am I supposed to be an effective godfather to him if he’s here and I’m there? I want to be part of his life and I want to be here when you and Tara need me to help, even if it’s only now and again. I feel like I’m being torn in two and needing to choose between my godson and Aiden and no matter how hard I try to think around it, nothing is giving me the answer I need. I don’t damn well want to make excuses, but I’m so ridiculously confused. The kiss with Riley would never have happened if my head wasn’t like a train wreck. But I’m glad he was there with me. I’m not apologising for that. It was hurting and I didn’t want to be alone.”
Lachlan looked at Pat, then down at his son, and then back again. “So, ask Aiden to come here. New York isnae in exile. It’s just over an hour’s drive away. Maybe the change of pace would do you both some good. Maybe a whole new home together and a change of scenery is just what the doctor ordered…” He smiled softly at his friend. “Dinnae be fearful of talking to your love, Patto. About anything. One day probably in the not too distant future he’ll be a whole half of you… nay just beside you.”
All muses mentioned here are referenced with permission and are from the princeton2nyc universe
Word Count | 1,405