muses_w_remotes | 9.2. Made of Honour
9.2. "Nobody in the world makes me laugh the way you do. You're my best friend. I just wanna be with you."
| Made of Honour
Co-written with drcampbell
Lachlan secured the fresh diaper on his son and took the tiny hand with his to lean over and kiss his fingers. “There you go, my wee angel. That feels better, aye? You’ve got your eyes open, but all you want is to look at it Mummy…” He turned his head to the direction the baby’s eyes kept following and sighed. “I cannae blame you, a chuilein. She’s beautiful, huh? Most beautiful lassie Daddy ever saw. You miss her, aye? That’s okay, angel… I do too…” He tucked his hands under Riley’s back and scooped him up into his arms to kiss his head.
“I’m destined to never be in a room with you bunch again and not cry, darling,” Pat declared from where he had arrived in the doorway of Tara’s room just a few moments before to witness the close scene between father and son. He quickly brushed a couple of tears away and maneuvered his wheelchair over to where Lachlan was standing.
Lachlan smiled, softly rubbing his son’s back. “I’ll give you some shares in the Kleenex Company as a late Christmas present,” he joked and sat down beside his friend, leaning in to kiss Pat’s cheek. “I thought you two would be about on your way back to New York. You’re going to be cutting it a wee bit fine.”
Pat cupped his hand around one of Riley’s baby feet. It wasn’t even the length of his thumb, each little toe with a perfect toenail and soft pink skin. “Yeah, about that, darling. We’re not going to go back yet. We’re just going to stay here in case you need any help, at least until Tara wakes up and we know she’s okay,” he said.
“What?” Lachlan said with a small shake of his head. “No, no, Patto. It’s okay, aye? I promise you that. You’ve all got to go to New York for the party at Luke’s bar. My Ma’ and Da’ are here with Nana and my in-laws. I know I didnae cope so well at the start with all this and you dinnae know how much it’s meant to me to have you all here through it, but we’re getting a wee rhythm here now. You need to go to the party and have a good time. It’s a New Year!”
Pat looked at Tara, who was now breathing on her own without a ventilator but still continued to sleep on unmoving. “I just don’t feel like there’s much to celebrate with Tara so sick. It feels wrong,” he said quietly.
“There is loads to celebrate,” Lachlan insisted quietly. “Our wee one, New Year, and Patto… it’s your boyfriend’s thirtieth birthday. You cannae let that pass you by without one fuck of a celebration, and to be honest here, Tara would kill me… kill both of us… if I let you miss Aiden’s birthday party. We’ll have our own wee celebration here, but you need to go. If anything changes with Tara, we’ll be on the phone ASAP. I promise.”
Pat put his hand up and started to chew on the corner of his thumb nail. He nodded, but didn’t say anything at first. He brushed his finger over the back of Riley’s little hand as his mind ticked over.
Lachlan watched his childhood friend intently. “Are you getting cold feet, Patto? With Aiden?” he asked gently. “You know you can talk to me, aye? Nay matter what. Even now that I have a bairn, it doesnae change anything.”
Pat smiled and nodded. “I know, darling. He’s just made you everything you’re supposed to be and you’re just… shining with it. You wouldn’t see it if you looked in the mirror, but it’s there, even with all the pain of having Tara sick and shouldering all this on your own. You won’t let it stop you because this, here, the baby daddy and husband… it’s what you were put on this earth to do whether you believe it or not.” He stroked Riley’s little head. “No cold feet with Aiden. I just still can’t believe some days he even wants to bother with me. That’s not fair to him, I know, but he understands. He does everything he can to reassure me. It’s not that. I’m just scared of losing him if I let myself want the whole package. But that’s not why we weren’t going back to New York. Aiden’s been distracted with everything I’ve dragged him into. I don’t know if he has even thought much lately that it’s his thirtieth.”
“He wouldnae be here if he didnae want to, buddy,” Lachlan reminded him. “My god, he loves you to absolute bits and that’s something I can understand. You deserve this, Patto. If you keep letting the fears eat away in your gut, you’re always going to have a barrier up between you. Trust me, I know fear. I let it own me these last few months and I nearly missed out on some of the most important parts of my life. Love him, let him love you, and for the love of god, enjoy it. It doesnae matter if you cannae walk right now or if Aiden’s apartment needs an overhaul to help you. It’s extraneous. In essence, it’s nay outside that really matters. You cannae nay go for his birthday, Patto. It’s important and you arenae letting me or Tara down if you go and have the time of your life. We dinnae want the world to stop around us… just like I didnae want it when I was hurt. I know it’s easier said than done, but trust me, please? Go. Go to New York and party like you havenae done in years. Kiss your boyfriend at midnight and start the next year off like you havenae a care in the world.” He gave Pat a one-armed hug. “I love you, buddy. I just want you to have the whole package because I can tell you, it’s the best fucking thing ever. Like you wouldnae believe.”
Pat hugged Lachlan back. “Neither you or Tara are allowed to be in a coma next New Year, you hear me? You mean too much to me to just up and sign out like this again.” He was quiet of a few moments before he patted Lachlan’s back. “Thank you…” he added in a whisper.
*** a chuilein = my laddie
All muses mentioned are referenced with permission and part of the princeton2nyc universe
Word Count | 1,069
| Made of Honour
Co-written with drcampbell
Lachlan secured the fresh diaper on his son and took the tiny hand with his to lean over and kiss his fingers. “There you go, my wee angel. That feels better, aye? You’ve got your eyes open, but all you want is to look at it Mummy…” He turned his head to the direction the baby’s eyes kept following and sighed. “I cannae blame you, a chuilein. She’s beautiful, huh? Most beautiful lassie Daddy ever saw. You miss her, aye? That’s okay, angel… I do too…” He tucked his hands under Riley’s back and scooped him up into his arms to kiss his head.
“I’m destined to never be in a room with you bunch again and not cry, darling,” Pat declared from where he had arrived in the doorway of Tara’s room just a few moments before to witness the close scene between father and son. He quickly brushed a couple of tears away and maneuvered his wheelchair over to where Lachlan was standing.
Lachlan smiled, softly rubbing his son’s back. “I’ll give you some shares in the Kleenex Company as a late Christmas present,” he joked and sat down beside his friend, leaning in to kiss Pat’s cheek. “I thought you two would be about on your way back to New York. You’re going to be cutting it a wee bit fine.”
Pat cupped his hand around one of Riley’s baby feet. It wasn’t even the length of his thumb, each little toe with a perfect toenail and soft pink skin. “Yeah, about that, darling. We’re not going to go back yet. We’re just going to stay here in case you need any help, at least until Tara wakes up and we know she’s okay,” he said.
“What?” Lachlan said with a small shake of his head. “No, no, Patto. It’s okay, aye? I promise you that. You’ve all got to go to New York for the party at Luke’s bar. My Ma’ and Da’ are here with Nana and my in-laws. I know I didnae cope so well at the start with all this and you dinnae know how much it’s meant to me to have you all here through it, but we’re getting a wee rhythm here now. You need to go to the party and have a good time. It’s a New Year!”
Pat looked at Tara, who was now breathing on her own without a ventilator but still continued to sleep on unmoving. “I just don’t feel like there’s much to celebrate with Tara so sick. It feels wrong,” he said quietly.
“There is loads to celebrate,” Lachlan insisted quietly. “Our wee one, New Year, and Patto… it’s your boyfriend’s thirtieth birthday. You cannae let that pass you by without one fuck of a celebration, and to be honest here, Tara would kill me… kill both of us… if I let you miss Aiden’s birthday party. We’ll have our own wee celebration here, but you need to go. If anything changes with Tara, we’ll be on the phone ASAP. I promise.”
Pat put his hand up and started to chew on the corner of his thumb nail. He nodded, but didn’t say anything at first. He brushed his finger over the back of Riley’s little hand as his mind ticked over.
Lachlan watched his childhood friend intently. “Are you getting cold feet, Patto? With Aiden?” he asked gently. “You know you can talk to me, aye? Nay matter what. Even now that I have a bairn, it doesnae change anything.”
Pat smiled and nodded. “I know, darling. He’s just made you everything you’re supposed to be and you’re just… shining with it. You wouldn’t see it if you looked in the mirror, but it’s there, even with all the pain of having Tara sick and shouldering all this on your own. You won’t let it stop you because this, here, the baby daddy and husband… it’s what you were put on this earth to do whether you believe it or not.” He stroked Riley’s little head. “No cold feet with Aiden. I just still can’t believe some days he even wants to bother with me. That’s not fair to him, I know, but he understands. He does everything he can to reassure me. It’s not that. I’m just scared of losing him if I let myself want the whole package. But that’s not why we weren’t going back to New York. Aiden’s been distracted with everything I’ve dragged him into. I don’t know if he has even thought much lately that it’s his thirtieth.”
“He wouldnae be here if he didnae want to, buddy,” Lachlan reminded him. “My god, he loves you to absolute bits and that’s something I can understand. You deserve this, Patto. If you keep letting the fears eat away in your gut, you’re always going to have a barrier up between you. Trust me, I know fear. I let it own me these last few months and I nearly missed out on some of the most important parts of my life. Love him, let him love you, and for the love of god, enjoy it. It doesnae matter if you cannae walk right now or if Aiden’s apartment needs an overhaul to help you. It’s extraneous. In essence, it’s nay outside that really matters. You cannae nay go for his birthday, Patto. It’s important and you arenae letting me or Tara down if you go and have the time of your life. We dinnae want the world to stop around us… just like I didnae want it when I was hurt. I know it’s easier said than done, but trust me, please? Go. Go to New York and party like you havenae done in years. Kiss your boyfriend at midnight and start the next year off like you havenae a care in the world.” He gave Pat a one-armed hug. “I love you, buddy. I just want you to have the whole package because I can tell you, it’s the best fucking thing ever. Like you wouldnae believe.”
Pat hugged Lachlan back. “Neither you or Tara are allowed to be in a coma next New Year, you hear me? You mean too much to me to just up and sign out like this again.” He was quiet of a few moments before he patted Lachlan’s back. “Thank you…” he added in a whisper.
*** a chuilein = my laddie
All muses mentioned are referenced with permission and part of the princeton2nyc universe
Word Count | 1,069