the long entry for...iunno. for this time period. untill i write another long entry. bitches.
well now. some fucker moved the chair to where the couch used to be,and vice versa,completely throwing off my inner balance.
so now i cant sleep...so im stuck here. updating.
for a grateful,and yet somehow lethargic and somewhat apathetic crowd. hurrrah.
so yea. just got done masturbating to some very refined shemale on girl porn,and i am quite satisfied. so now that i have nothing else better to do...im updating.
of course,its the sunday (well..techincally,monday,but whos counting) after prom,and we're all giddy and some of us still have our dancefloor woodies on us...so i find it fit that i talk about taht failed experiment known as..."prom".
but where to start? how about..somewhere near the beginning,but far enough to be already into the "body" of the story.
as we all know,i have a tendency to be late.
like....for example,my birth? i think i was like a week late. what can i say? its an italian thing.
so im hurrying,and puttin all my shit together,and then bryan pulls up in that sexy g35...and i cursing,cuz i cant find my pants, and my mom is yellin at me cuz im yellin,so im yellin at her to stop yellin at me and to look for my fucking pants...
we were supposed to be on the road by like..4.15,cuz traffic was supposed to be a bitch.
we get out of my house at 4.30, because someone thought it might be a good idea to take pictures of me in a tux...fuckin parents.
and i forget to bring the fuckin stoogie...fuckin shit.
anyway..i end up gettin the rest of my shit together in the car...which is,i may remind u,sexy.
for some reason,god decided "hey...i like that g35 with those sexy studs in it. ill let traffic run smoothly for those guys". so we get to kristis around 4.40. so we go for a drive..run into bryans dad...and then bryan yells at me for almost thinkin about leaning on the G.
blah.
get to kristis....still early. but hey. fuck it.
of course,im wearin the shades. cuz what am i without the shades? just some regular shmuck. its all about the shades baby.
and of course..the akward comments from sam, like "ooooh spudipoo shaveeeed!!"
yea. i shaved.
i kno. i hate it too.
and now my face is all irritated...well..my face...among other things.
and in the end,was it worth it? NO. cuz...i didnt get laid.
fuck.
now im gonna be scratchin my crotch for weeks....for NOTHING.
anyway,the pictures run smoothly,between the "spud,turn to the left..no...the OTHER left" and "I SAID HANDS BEHIND UR BACK!" and "STOP MAKING FACES".
besides adam arriving late.
HA! i wasnt the last one to get there. for once. ::undeserving surge of pride::
then all 12 of us pile up in the 10 person limo.
u kno what? fuck you guys. im gonna complain about bein squished all i fuckin want. I WAS BRINGING UP THE REAR GODDAMN IT.
so yea. squished.
but still...very...aloof. or whatever.
clydes was insane. i made the mistake of sitting next to sam...and thats just bad. cuz....she was unmedicated, i was twitchy, so....yea.
it was quite a show.
and of course,i got a couple nasty looks from people,at my table and not, between what i was saying,or doing,or both. kinda like "yeepp...scratchin my balls" ::scratches balls:...
fuck it.
and..yea. i had a ketchup malfunction.and had to involve like...the whole table.
im sorry im retarded and cant get the ketchup to work...its....trickier than it looks,ok??
whatever.
then...all back to kristis house..cuz..SOMEONE forgot their tickets.
btw,thanks bryan...for..pickin up my ticket. otherwise,id be one of those people.....
i gotta be honest,everyone looked....i wouldnt say "superb", but definitely bitchin.
like...seriously, i wanted to have sex with everyone.
yea.
even adam.
THATS how good we looked.
ok,they. somehow,even my tux was baggy. fuckin...mexican taylor...cant get the shit right....
i must say..the black on black on black was a .....black touch.
oh yea,sam,UR SO FUCKING RED! GODDAMN IT!!
then....on to prom.
now that was a trip. literally.
and...i think there was talk about a full moon or something? i dont know.
damn this is a good song. anyway.
prom....FOR ME,was tense. i gotta be honest,im not the dancing kinda guy. u kno what? all u guys can go fuck yourselves all over the fuckin dancefloor. dont give a shit.
im not any good at dancing,i dont like dancing, i didnt like the setting,i was just...
ok. picture this. ur a dude. a straight dude.
in a gay bar.
yea. thats kinda how i felt.
then erin grabbed my ass. that just freaked me the fuck out.
fuck it. as much as i bitch and complain and talk about hating dancing (and i do. tremendously) i had fun.
yea,bryan had to drag me on,and then slam me into kristi to dance...and then yelled at me to dance....and then repeat.
and then i stepped on a bunch of stuff( feet...dresses...midgets..who knows. my shoes were so fucking big,im surprised i didnt find some dude under my fuckin shoe) (oh sam...yea..that was some funny shit...u kno.....when i totally STOMPED UR FOOT?! YEAAAABOOOOY).
and then me n bryan moshed to "paradise city". good times.
saw some defniite amount of titties.
too bad my hands were tied..
by my stupidity.
blah.
and then..after an hour of askin "are we leavin yet!??!!?", we left,went back to kristis, and me adam n mark enjoyed some overly priced cigars.
and of course...everyone ran to change....but i say fuck that. 90 bucks for that piece of shit, i payed. Im wearin that shit out,yo.
and then....off to the misical 29 diner for coffee and fries.
so good.
sseriously. 8 bucks for fries,and 12 cups of coffee.fucking shweet dude. gotta go there more often.
me kristi james and erica talked about the deeper things in life...like....how good my piss felt,cuz i was holdin it in all night.
or how i said " damn son..i said godDAMN son!".
met up with sam brybry zakattack mark and christina at dennys..which is....right around the corner from 29...who knew?
made fun of the fat black woman with an attitude.
made ENDLESS fun of sam...cuz...shes such an easy target. and when EVERYONE at the table backs me up..its even better.
sorry sam. ahahahahahahahahah...cough..i mean..my bad.
then...we said our "gnights", and our "ill bring u a cuban when i come back from italy"...and then me n zak wen to bryans.
talked about....u kno. prom.
roadhead.
porn.
weed.
bitches.
u kno...the finer things in life.
sadly...no one got roadhead. ::sad face::
AHAHAHAHAAHA......yea...
then...warm beers,around 5 am...and then,i woke up with a smelly kitty on my face.
no,serisouly. either zak or bryan woke me up by stickin a fuckin cat on my face. it wasnt some twisted sexual innuendo of mine (strangely).
and then...after 5 hours of sleep....home.
to do chores.
and talk to my uncle about the "good ol days" when hed smoke up with my mom and dad (probably when she was pregnant with me...i have no other explanation).
oh,i love intimacy...just sends chills down my ballsack.
so. end result.
the night cost about 300 bucks.
none mine.
didnt get laid.
didnt get drunk.
didnt get flashed.
i farted in the limo,tho.
and at dinner.
and at prom.
and at 29 diner.
and just about everywhere else.
i think i farted on sam,too.
didnt get high (goddman u adam)
and yet..it was stil a bitchin night.
i just hope that my date didint mind that i wasnt exactly..."dateful".
somehow,i have a headache,tho.
HOLY FUCK. saw ms.dahlquist. and totally wanted to band her,more than usual,that is. like...FUCK. lady can show some SKIND,DAWG!!
man....gave me a chubbie,let me tell ya.
i touched her hand....mmmh..im never washin this hand again.
anyway. yea.i feel nauseaus.
i was outside smokin a cigarette on the deck earlier....and in the pale,yellow deck light..at the right angle, i saw my reflection in the sliding glass door.
well,fuck,i wouldve seen it anyway,duh.
but what i saw was scary.
ok. hardyfuckinhar. i saw myself. laugh it up,chuckles. now shut the fuck up and listen.
yea,i saw myself,but,and no pun intended, i saw myself completely under a different light.
i saw how fuckin skiny and sunken my face has become. i saw the lines drawing on my visage.i saw the deep,large,dark circles under my eyes. i saw how it just seemed as if somene literally sucked the life out of me.
funny,cuz thats kinda how i felt.
man...i really wanted to write out one of my long-ass entries..but im so fuckin tired...
i think ill go finish watchin s.a.w.a.t. and oogle at michelle rodriguez's boobs..then...hit the sack.
and after i kick the sack's ass,ill go to bed.
ah.
ah.
ah.
whatever. its funny. fuck you guys.
FUCK! ITS FUCKING MONDAY! FUCK!!!!
if theres anything that hate more than mondays its....waking up,thinkin its sunday,but remebering that its sunday.
ok honestly,i feel like shit.but i dont feel like writing about it.
fucking monday...