spilling my guts
I just want to cry. All the time. I dont know what to do from here.
truth is, im scared. of a lot right now. not just the epilepsy.
im scared of epilepsy beating me.
im scared to have another seizure.
im scared of how stressed i am and how im on the verge of a nervous breakdown.
im scared that i wont be who people expect me to be.
im scared of losing my friends.
im scared of paul breaking my heart.
im scared to lose him.
im scared that nothing will be the same ever again.
im scared that ill never be loved by someone.
im scared of my keppra.
im scared of the medical bills
im scared to let people in because they might judge me.
im scared that ill never escape what david and donnie did to me.
im scared that i have serious issues.
im scared that me missing those doses of meds a week before my seizure had an impact.
im scared to tell my doctor.
im scared that im a worse person than people think i am.
im scared that i wont succeed in life
im scared that ill never feel as beautiful as i feel when im with ap at any other time.
im scared that i wont be able to ride rollercoasters whatsoever anymore.
im scared that im not strong enough to deal with all of this
im scared of letting people down.
i know i sound super selfish that all of those fears are basically about me but... they are my fears.