(no subject)
why can't he just leave me alone and let me forget about him. i should have done it years ago. but it seems like everytime i take a step away from him he reappears to drag me back in. i don't want to go back to the way things were, but i can't bring myself to tell him to fuck off either... i don't know whats wrong with me. i know what i should do, but i don't understand why i won't.
why does everything have to be so hard all the time??? i don't think i can take this.
it's almost as though he has perfect timing in more ways than one. not only did i finally bring myself to delete his number, but i'm also confused and lost at whats going on with brandon. i feel so lost and vulnerable, definately not the right time to be dealing with chris showing back up, although i knew in the back of my mind that he would... sometimes i hate being right
and not only that, but manda called last night and left me a voicemail saying we need to talk. i have no idea what about. i am so stressed out and emotional, the last thing i needed was to add that to my plate. i don't even know if its something bad, but not knowing is making me upset and stressing me out and now i'm starting to get to the point where i'm getting pissed because i can't focus on anything and she didn't call me back after i called her back this morning. any other day i would just wait for her to call, i know there is no reason to be getting mad over this, but with everything else going on i can't help it. i just want this week to be over, i can handle finals with a bunch of shit going on, but 2 huge papers, i just can't even focus on the research for them let alone try and write them.
at least i know one thing will be off my plate after i talk to manda and then i'll hate myself for letting me over react over nothing all because i'm stressing out over school and emotional and confused over guys... i hate my life
why does everything have to be so hard all the time??? i don't think i can take this.
it's almost as though he has perfect timing in more ways than one. not only did i finally bring myself to delete his number, but i'm also confused and lost at whats going on with brandon. i feel so lost and vulnerable, definately not the right time to be dealing with chris showing back up, although i knew in the back of my mind that he would... sometimes i hate being right
and not only that, but manda called last night and left me a voicemail saying we need to talk. i have no idea what about. i am so stressed out and emotional, the last thing i needed was to add that to my plate. i don't even know if its something bad, but not knowing is making me upset and stressing me out and now i'm starting to get to the point where i'm getting pissed because i can't focus on anything and she didn't call me back after i called her back this morning. any other day i would just wait for her to call, i know there is no reason to be getting mad over this, but with everything else going on i can't help it. i just want this week to be over, i can handle finals with a bunch of shit going on, but 2 huge papers, i just can't even focus on the research for them let alone try and write them.
at least i know one thing will be off my plate after i talk to manda and then i'll hate myself for letting me over react over nothing all because i'm stressing out over school and emotional and confused over guys... i hate my life