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Well, it has been a long day, and my experiments are not going well and are being very frustrating. Arrggghhh. I just cannot get the images I need. On a positive not though, my work computer has been repaired. I am not sure i can claim the money back so it is a bit of an annoying $190 I had to spend. But At least I have a computer at work again
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It's late so if this makes no sense I apologize! ;)
First off you know my opinion, it IS bollocks. It isn't really a widely held belief that it is the "right way" so much that it is theorized that Doms that were once subs make the best Dom's. There is SOME truth to that but that would also take away from the people who just "are."
What I think it your missing is the LEVEL of understanding. We have talked about wax play being something that I have never done yet almost since day one have dreamed about experiencing it.
Let's say for example that I had never seen wax play before, does that mean I could imaging what hot wax would feel like on my skin? No, I can quite vividly now and it never has been. So I could empathize with someone who tells me "my Dom pored hot wax on me last week"
Now let's say I see it preformed one day. (which I have) now I know what it looks like, smells like, the look on both players faces as it happens, the look of pain on the subs, etc. so next time someone says to me "my Dom pored hot wax on me last week" I can not only use my imagination of what it would feel like but draw on the imagines, sense and memories of that moment to empathize on a deeper level with that person.
I think you know where I'm going with this... I can empathize when someone talks to me about wax play but until I feel hot wax on my skin (mmmmm) only then will I have as good an understanding of it as the other there by allowing me to empathize with the other person on a deeper level.
That does not make us shallow. We are by nature, creatures of learning, the more we learn about each other experiences by speaking to each other or experiencing those things ourselves the more we can understand them thereby more powerful relating to them.
I have a lot more to write but.. Rich sleep now!
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But in response to your reply...
Do you empathise or sympathise with some about the hot wax? You no doubt already have some idea what hot wax feels like on skin, most people have spilled candle wax at some point or another. You also know the sensations of heat. Your empathy is not completely based on observation alone.
Pain is particularly interesting as humans do not have the ability to recall pain. we can recall sights, sounds and even tastes and smell to the point at which we can "see" the picture in our head or "smell" whatever scent we are recalling. But the brain prevents us from recalling the sensation of pain. We can remember being in pain, we can remember our emotional response to that pain but we cannot experience that sensation again unless we physically inflict pain on ourselves.
If we have trouble even recalling pain correctly then how can we imagine the pain someone else is going through? Can you honestly say that you can empathise with a woman in childbirth? How can you know the sensations she goes through? I can't, and I even have the right "parts". I can understand using my rational brain and can sympathise, but truely empathise with her? no. I will have no idea what she is going through unless I go through it myself. Or take for example chemotherapy. I know that it is very painful. I know that people have terrible nausea when going through it. I can sympathise but I cannot empathise (which is putting oneself in another's position) because I have no experience upon which to base it upon.
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