I'm not pessimistic; I'm realistic
♥♥♥
Yeah so I kindof hate guys at the moment. Mostly one, really, and he knows damn well who he is. I should've never given him another chance, but whatever...Now I just officially know he's not a true gentleman. At all. But whatever. I don't want to waste my time talking about somebody who's not much smarter than a piece of dirt. His loss, not mine. So yep, it's almost summer which makes me excited. I have to go over to Saybrook today after work. Yay, that shall be fun. I need to get gas too. Damnit. Maybe I can go tanning afterwards. That would be nice and relaxing. Hmm. Anyways, life has been making some sudden sharp turns, but I'm still hanging on with what I've got left. Yesterday was just a really awful day for me. But then after school I got to hang out with Jason and Karen for a while and we saw Mr. Colli and it just lightened up from then. Thank goodness. And then since I was in such a good mood after work, I went and visited my grandma, whom I like...Never forgave for something...But yeah, I ended up staying 3 hours and talking about basically everything. It was good to vent to somebody who doesn't really have a say in the matter. So it was helpful. I want to see a new psychiatrist really badly. I need to talk to somebody who's not going to judge me and make me out to have more problems than what I'm already seeing her for. BITCH! So yeah, not only am I depressed, I have ADD, ADHD, dyslexia, and like...a million other things wrong with me. So yeah...I decided to stop seeing that bitch. Damn I can't stand her. French class was fun. I kept telling Matt not to talk to me cuz "he's a guy and I don't want to talk to guys today", and he kept saying I was in a bad mood which I'm actually not, haha. For once I'm somewhat content with who I am and where I am in life. Mr. Colli made me see how I'm doing pretty well right now...I have a new car and a great job, and a guy that I think really likes me, but is afraid to admit it. I really like Jason. I regret breaking up with him for somebody I didn't ever connect with. I regret giving into Dan and giving him another chance. I regret a lot of things that happened this month, and I want them to just disappear into thin air...But of course that's not possible. So I have to deal with the future now and just forget about this month altogether. The only good thing about this month were the 3 or 4 days I was dating Jason.
I'm proud of who I've turned out to be. At first I thought I wouldn't go anywhere in life...But now I'm learning early, and I'm not going to make the same mistakes twice. All in all, I am doing OKAY. It's took me a lot of nights of crying and screaming and cutting...And now I'm finally okay with who I am today. I'm starting to walk with my head held high yet again, and in my eyes the skies are always clear and blue, not a single raindrop falling from above. I've hit the point of reality once again.
♥
Becka
Yeah so I kindof hate guys at the moment. Mostly one, really, and he knows damn well who he is. I should've never given him another chance, but whatever...Now I just officially know he's not a true gentleman. At all. But whatever. I don't want to waste my time talking about somebody who's not much smarter than a piece of dirt. His loss, not mine. So yep, it's almost summer which makes me excited. I have to go over to Saybrook today after work. Yay, that shall be fun. I need to get gas too. Damnit. Maybe I can go tanning afterwards. That would be nice and relaxing. Hmm. Anyways, life has been making some sudden sharp turns, but I'm still hanging on with what I've got left. Yesterday was just a really awful day for me. But then after school I got to hang out with Jason and Karen for a while and we saw Mr. Colli and it just lightened up from then. Thank goodness. And then since I was in such a good mood after work, I went and visited my grandma, whom I like...Never forgave for something...But yeah, I ended up staying 3 hours and talking about basically everything. It was good to vent to somebody who doesn't really have a say in the matter. So it was helpful. I want to see a new psychiatrist really badly. I need to talk to somebody who's not going to judge me and make me out to have more problems than what I'm already seeing her for. BITCH! So yeah, not only am I depressed, I have ADD, ADHD, dyslexia, and like...a million other things wrong with me. So yeah...I decided to stop seeing that bitch. Damn I can't stand her. French class was fun. I kept telling Matt not to talk to me cuz "he's a guy and I don't want to talk to guys today", and he kept saying I was in a bad mood which I'm actually not, haha. For once I'm somewhat content with who I am and where I am in life. Mr. Colli made me see how I'm doing pretty well right now...I have a new car and a great job, and a guy that I think really likes me, but is afraid to admit it. I really like Jason. I regret breaking up with him for somebody I didn't ever connect with. I regret giving into Dan and giving him another chance. I regret a lot of things that happened this month, and I want them to just disappear into thin air...But of course that's not possible. So I have to deal with the future now and just forget about this month altogether. The only good thing about this month were the 3 or 4 days I was dating Jason.
I'm proud of who I've turned out to be. At first I thought I wouldn't go anywhere in life...But now I'm learning early, and I'm not going to make the same mistakes twice. All in all, I am doing OKAY. It's took me a lot of nights of crying and screaming and cutting...And now I'm finally okay with who I am today. I'm starting to walk with my head held high yet again, and in my eyes the skies are always clear and blue, not a single raindrop falling from above. I've hit the point of reality once again.
♥
Becka