Just one of those days.........

[sexybludragon]

So it has been just one of those days and it's only 10 am or so. I wish i just had stayed in bed where it was warm and comfortable stayed in la la land where everything was perfect and i didn't have to deal with the reality that is my life. it is that time again the time where my honey and i fight about money. figures right it seems that we always have this same fight at least once a semester. i have to yell and scream at him about helping me out with playin rent and or bills. he works two jobs and yet we have no money. once again i've spent all my money paying for everything. i've been once again late on paying bills trying to figure out where the money is going to come from. i have no clue where his money goes all i know is that we dont' have any. this is the second time this week that we've got no food in the fridge. i'm so tired of making the only efforts to make this work. i know i know same old record going around and around. why does this always happen to me. what is it about him that he can't see how we are stuggling. we can't live on love alone. shit we got bills to pay. this time i didn't cry as much as i usually do. i was more angery at the situation. i'm tired of making excuses for him. he says once again that he is going to change and that he's just going to give me his check and let me do what we need to with it. ha! that'll work for one pay period. i've written on a calendar when the bills are due (even a week early) in hopes that he'd be like "ok bills are due" shit that doesn't work. i've told him that bills are due and let him know when he is cashing his check that we need money orders for this and that and he looks at me like what? then when we are out getting groceries he's like just get the essentails. then when i try to you know meat, eggs, bread, etc he's like that's too much! ha! what the heck does he think i make dinner with fairy dust! yes, i'm bitter dont you think? can you blame me?
the fucking thing is that i love him dispite all this. what the hell should i do? i've got papers due, i want to scream, i need sleep, got paperwork i have to finish for my internship, i have to talk to someone, need to scream, have to finish this and that, need to pay bills, did i mention i need to scream?
(note: sorry Human that it seemed that I blew you off yesterday when you called, i meant to call you back but i just needed to deal with stuff! you know i love ya!)
well i gotta run. I hope you're alls days are better than mine.
~blu