jobless
so not having a job sucks. I had a breakdown last night. actually i broke down about something completely different, but everything that has been bothering me came out. I cried several times last night, and it felt good. David made me cry first though, which is the saddest part. He said something that was totally a joke, but I took it to heart and got really upset about it. He was truly sorry though and I feel bad that I got so upset. I also feel bad that after we got off the phone I called him back and made him talk to me for a while longer. I just love hearing his voice. He actually listens to me when I talk, and cares about whats going on in my life. Usually I don't like to bother others with my problems, especially cuz David has only known me for a few months. He doesn't understand all of my family issues, but he listens to me bitch about it, and that I appreciate.
today we're going to my uncle's house in Deep River, CT for a Memorial Day picnic. We used to have these picnics here when my grandmother had the house and we would swim in the pool and I'd get to invite a few friends. Now Nick isn't even coming so I'm dragging Ashley along. My dad is going to fight with my grandmother and my cousins are going to try to make pointless smalltalk with me. Fun.
The only good news is that I get to see David on Tuesday night until at least Thursday :D This is ABSOLUTELY AMAZING!!!! I'm so excited I cannot even express it. I miss him soooo much. Sometimes I think he's too good to be true, but I refuse to tell him that. I refuse to mess up this relationship as I have fucked up others in the past. I fear being in love and someone loving me back. I tend to hurt them before they hurt me, but not this time. I'm actually going to put myself out there. Scary, huh?
today we're going to my uncle's house in Deep River, CT for a Memorial Day picnic. We used to have these picnics here when my grandmother had the house and we would swim in the pool and I'd get to invite a few friends. Now Nick isn't even coming so I'm dragging Ashley along. My dad is going to fight with my grandmother and my cousins are going to try to make pointless smalltalk with me. Fun.
The only good news is that I get to see David on Tuesday night until at least Thursday :D This is ABSOLUTELY AMAZING!!!! I'm so excited I cannot even express it. I miss him soooo much. Sometimes I think he's too good to be true, but I refuse to tell him that. I refuse to mess up this relationship as I have fucked up others in the past. I fear being in love and someone loving me back. I tend to hurt them before they hurt me, but not this time. I'm actually going to put myself out there. Scary, huh?