wow you can tell i'm not trusted.
i love how i do things to make my parents to make them happy. and all i get is we don't trust you thrown right back in my face everytime i say something. it hurts ya. but whatever if they don't trust now. then they never will. it just sux bc i live in there house and i am 19 and still have to ask to go to somewhere i can't tell them. or pick what time i want to come home. because it's not necessary to stay out with jacob for more than 2 hours and it's not necessary to hang out with for more than 2 hours too. i got a job and i still have to stay home for dinner and i have to sheculde my whole life around my parents bc my life should be feliable for them. did you know i have only seen jacob for 2 hours this whole week. ya that sux. bc after work i am not ALLOWED to go out with jacob. because i have a curfew when i am out with friends or jacob. i have to be home by 930. and that fucking sux big time. and i can't take anymore. i got a job so i could have more freedom. and i have more rules than ever on me. prolly when i go to school and have a job i won't have a life anymore because my parents will force me to stay home in my spare time. what more do they want from me. they don't believe i am working from 130 pm to 1130 tonight. idk why. but i do. besides i like working nights aynwho. i just wish they would stop treating me like i am 5 yrs old. i am 19 yrs old and i disreve alot more freedom. than what i have. honestly ever i started dating jacob i have not lied to them at all. not once. the only way for me to stay out late with my friends is if i go stay the night with them. and if they stay the night here. we are not allowed to leave and go do what we want. which sux too bc i want friends to stay the night more often at my house. but they don't want to. u want to know why because there are too many rules. like for me to be home for dinner. or be home at 930 and be to sleep by midnight. too many rules. they say. and it hurts because i am hardly invited anywhere because everyone knows i have to leave early. and it ruins all plans that other ppl have with me and no one wants to leave early so they don't invite me. you can ask jacob i have cried over this crap. ya it sux when your friends just stop inviting you places because you have to early just because my parents need to control me. my friends say that all the time that my parents are too controling on me. and even if i do stay the night somewhere i have to be home 10 am the next day. and i can't sleep when i get home. because i should've have gone to bed earlier than midnight. so even when i am not home i am still being controled. so my friends don't really want to invite me over unless i have a ride or they work the next morning. and jacob hates it too. he hates waking up early just to bring me home sometimes. he doesn't have too. but he does because he knows that is time that we get to see each other. you know what i want so badly. i want to have a normal life. i want to be able to tell my parents that i am going somewhere after and not to stay up for me. i want to be able to hang out with my friends for more than 2 hours. i just want my parents to sit back and take a chill pill. you know if they did that they would relize that i am responseable. and a GOOD KID! but that will never happen until i move out even then my parents will try to set a cerfew or stop by randomly to see if i am actually where i am supposed to be. GOD I WANT TO BE NORMAL. I WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A 19 YR IS TREATED! I WANT BE ABLE TO GO OUT AND DO WHAT I WANT WITHOUT ASKING. I WANT TO BE ABLE TO TELL MY PARENTS WHERE I AM GOING. AND TELL THEM WHAT TIME I WILL BE HOME. I WANT TO BE ABLE TO JUST TO CALL THEM UP AND BE LIKE I AM STAYING OVER AT LAURA'S ILL BE HOME TOMORROW. i never got what sydney gets. she stays the night over at edens and then gets to stay there all day long if she wanted too. or sydney gets to have a boy stay the night. my parents way cooler to sydney than me. like they way more laid back on her than me. i hate being first born. sometimes i wish i was sydney. because she gets to do what she wants when she wants. and that upsets me. i can't believe i actually wish i was my sister!