(no subject)
Why doesn't anyone understand me? God please tell me..Did I do something to make them regret me? Did I lay a hand on them too strongly? Or does it look as if I'm threatening?
What exactly have I done for them to become so angry? Must I fight this by myself? The two I have ever loved in my life have left me. One you killed, God, and the other is so far away. Yet he doesn't know that I still long for him, could you tell him for me? Send him a message from me to tell him that I lied?
Could you tell him I was cheated out, could you tell him that I was played on? Could you tell him to forgive me, for I have sinned, and I would love to have him back.
But, you won't be able to do that will you, of course you won't. You're too busy full-filling someone more important, that you've forgotten, but yet, disappointment is what I long for the most. Even though he is miles away, I could slowy cut away and be closer to the one you stole from me. Why must I suffer? Did I do something to offend you? Did I speak of you the wrong way?
Can you understand me? Only two people in my life have understood me, yet, I only let some of me out for them to care for. If I try to open to others, I get the feeling of hate, and as if they think they are helping, but know they can't. These two people that care/cared for me are now gone, and I blew it. One is dead, and the other is miles away from me, not being able to know my pain. If only he was closer, oh how I'd take him back, but yet again, I'm here left to suffer and left in torment. But...Maybe...no...maybe not...there is no hope. No matter how hard anyone may try, you cannot and will not stop me. I will go through with this...even if it means slitting my wrist.