this is going to be long...

Dec 27, 2002 16:12

It has been so long since we have talked
I hope that things are still the same
hoping they will never change
cuz what we had cant be replaced
dont let are mermories fade away
keep me in your heart for always.

So let's see i told you how Trace asked me to marry him, and all that other stuff, that i really don't feel like reliving. So I went to New York City to think things through. I was sitting in my hotel room looking down on the christmas day parade the snow was falling, it looked so beautiful. So i walked down the steps to watch it up close. I looked around and saw couple with children, teen couples, old couples, everywhere I looked I saw couples that were all happy. I guess no-one should be alone on Christmas. So after watching for a little while I slowly made my way back to my room, and watched again from my window.

You made me believe
I can do almost anything
stood right by me
through the tears, through everything

Everything that I have ever done wrong in my life was going threw my mind like crazy, and then everything i have ever done right, flashed through as well. So i began to think about the whole Nick and Trace situation. On one hand there was Nick, he is a really great guy, sure he has bad timeing but he is still a great guy. He is and always will be my best friend. I can talk to him about anything, and he is always there for me. Now I was about ready to fly back to TN and tell him that I wanted to be with him...but then a friend had called me, and told me he was in love with Christina..

I'll remember you
And baby thats forever true
your the one i'll always miss
never thought it would feel like this
I'll be there for you
no matter what your going threw
in my heart you'll always be
forever baby
i'll remember you

And then there was Trace on the other hand. Another great guy. He says all the right things at all the right times, and he also was willing to change for me. That means a lot. And yeah I loved him, if i didn't love him, I wouldn't have said yes to marry him, now would I? So i walked over to my phone and called him, he wasn't there...so i left a message. He got back to me and we talked. Now at the end of the conversation, one would think that we were going to get back together...foolishly I thought so too. Then I read his update, and i know Jenny is back, and now i guess there is some other girl, I just can't compete with all that.

i promise you i wont forget
the times we shared the tears we cried
youll always be the sun in my sky
it may be fate that brings us back
to meet again
someday
even though we go seperate ways

Last night I went over to a friends. I'm not going to say his name yet, but he knows who he is. And we sat there and talked, like the old times. I missed those a lot. Then he mentioned something about his bed, nothing sexual just something I always loved. And if i say what it is...it'll give the guy away, and i don't want him getting hate messages or anything. So i automaticlly jumped up from where i was and jumped on his bed. So i didn't want to leave his bed, it was soooooo comfy.

if the day should come
that you need someone
You know that i'll find a way
i will be there
dont ever let there be
a doubt in your mind
Cuz' i'll remember you

I asked if i could spend the night and he said yes. So i obviously couldn't sleep in what I was wearing, so i slept in the nude...no he gave me a pair of boxers and a t-shirt and i slept in those. While we were laying there we started talking again, and well..we..um...we kissed. -waits for the hatemail to get here- yes we kissed, hate me all you want...it just sort of happend. Then we both fell asleep.

So yeah...anyway um, I'm moving into heathers new house in LA. It should be awesome she is going to attend JA meeting and i'll be attending HAFULLA meetings. so yeah...thanks for listening. Sorry if this update hurt anyone, it wasn't suppose to.
*_*Jessy


If love was a bird
Then we wouldn't have wings
If love was a sky
We'd be blue
If love was a choir
You and I could never sing
Cause love isn't for me and you

If love was an Oscar
You and I could never win
Cause we can never act out our parts
If love is the Bible
Then we are lost in sin
Because its not in our hearts

So why don't you go your way
And I'll go mine
Live your life, and I'll live mine
Baby you'll do well, and I'll be fine
Cause we're better off, separated

If love was a fire
Then we have lost the spark
Love never felt so cold
If love was a light
Then we're lost in the dark
Left with no one to hold

If love was a sport
We're not on the same team
You and I are destined to lose
If love was an ocean
Then we are just a stream
Cause love isn't for me and you

So why don't you go your way
And I'll go mine
Live your life, and I'll live mine
Baby you'll do well, and I'll be fine
Cause we're better off, separated

Boy I know we had some good times
It's sad but now we gotta say goodbye
Boy you know I love you, I can't deny
I can't say we didn't try to make it work for you and I
I know it hurts so much but it's best for us
Somewhere along this windy road we lost the trust
So I'll walk away so you don't have to see me cry
It's killing me so, why don't you go

So why don't you go your way
And I'll go mine
Live your life, and I'll live mine
Baby you'll do well, and I'll be fine
Cause we're better off, separated

I'm sorry we didn't make it
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