Had to get it off my chest.... ( I want everyone to see this... )
Wow, I seem to keep forgettin about this thing. I dont write in here as often as I used to. Thats sorta unusual for me eh? I'm always writtin sumthing in here. Well... I've been pretty busy with things n' am alot happier now a days. And well, I jus thought I'd update since some of u are prolly wonderin what has happend with me or if I died or sumthin, haha. Well I'm doin alot better these days n' my online courses have started up so I'm goin to be on the comp all hours of the day/night once again. Haha, when arnt I on the comp? Oh right when I'm either sleepin or with my baby. Speaking of my baby, yes things r still goin strong with us. I love her so much... Shes like my life, my happiness, my everything. We've been hangin out alot lately n' I'm really happy bout how things are workin out. I can see us still bein together in two years, yes two fuckin years from now. Thats how much I fuckin love her. I want to be with her for the rest of my life!! Its funny how things happen the way they do. I'm really glad I met her. I never thought I'd love someone as much as I love Kaya after the shit I've been through in the past with Dustin n' Travis n' everyone. I'm really happy. And I'm goin to finish school, I'm goin to get better at guitar, I'm goin to get a job. I'm goin to get my life back... even if it fuckin kills me, I'm goin to get things done. I'd rather have things the way they are now then the shit I've went through in the past with Dustin, Travis, Heather, Mat Thomas, Taylor, Kenny, Tiffany, Jessie, Kaitlin, Sam, Holly, and everyone else who caused me to go through so much depressen n' fuckin drive me to think bout suicide n' attempt it. I'm happy that Dustin left Thunder Bay. I've realized that its better that he's gone instead of him bitchen at me n' forcin me to do shit n' fuckin cheat on everybody I went out with. Yea I really liked Dustin alot, I fuckin loved him (or so I thought) buh now that I've spent this much time with him gone, he's now outta my mind (finaly). All Dustin ever did was hurt me n' push me around buh yet I still stuck around n' acted like it was nuffin, like he wasnt hurtin me. And I've always told Heather everythin n' anythin bout the feelings I was havin. And she knows exactly what I mean. Anyways, like I said I'm really happy now a days and I'm really glad Dustin is gone, I may still miss him alot yea buh that'll change sooner or later n' I mean he prolly never acctually truly cared bout how I felt, even if he did he never showed it much. Buh whatever. I really dont give a rats ass bout him anymore. He's gone. He doesnt even talk to me anymore so y should I still care bout him right? Specially with all the shit he's put me through. Hey, the past is in the past n' should really stay in the past right? Buh how does one person leave things in the past when someone says something that brings it all back to you. And jus pisses u off or gets u all depressed again? What happends then? I jus wish people would stop bringin little things up from the past that I really want to be able to forget. I'm happy n' I wanna stay this way for a really long time. I dont want things from the past to start again. I'm scared that somethin from my past is gonna end up happenin once again. It always does. Maybe I do think to much? Anyways, I should really get to bed. I need to be up to do at least some of my online school work plus I gotta pick up Morgan from Sherbrooke at like 3pm. And I really need my sleep. I'll try n' post more often, buh I'm not promisin anythin.
Night <3
Love Jams
I Love Kaya Soo Much!!