OK so this morning i woke up to a text message from corey at 6:15am and i couldnt go back to sleep.... but it was a cute text lol! anyways.. last nite i found out the my family put my grandpa in a home yesterday.. and that KILLED me cuz i thought id be able to see him before they put him in the home you know? like that was the only reason i wanted to really go to florida to see him before they did that...... so last nite for like an hour i was cryin on the fone to a speechless bf who had no idea wut to say so he started crying with me because he knew how hurt i am. and that met so much to me because the whole generic "your going to be ok" doesnt work for me anymore, i know that ill be fine eventually. Half of yall who read these dnt know 1/2 2of wut ive bin through im just good at hiding my pain and moving on. but like wen it comes to stuff like that, I just need to let out how i feel, now. and telling me ill be ok is dumb i dont want to stop crying now i want to let it out. So dnt tell me ill be ok dnt ask me if i am ok cuz the answer is NO.
Her heart beats ever so carefully as she takes in a slow. rattling breath. On the exhale she calls my name. Upon my arrical to her room i feel a shiver up my spine. The on i love, my mother, is dying. She reaches for my hand and gives me a locket. I kiss her on her cheek and lay down with her "mommy" i say "i love you." She looks at me with tear filled eyes and says nothing. A single tear drop falls ever so gracefully down her frail face, she closes her eyes. "please don;t leave me" i whispered as i desperatly struggle to get under the covers. The cold breath of death filled the room. "no you can't have her, i need her still" Then the candle flickered and went out. In the dark, I layed there next to her and cried. I opened my hand and looked at the locket. Engraved on it was "its ok, Im always with you" She knew how i was feeling, she always knew. I called the nurse in and kissed my mother. I walked out of her room and into the kitchen, where my mom sat. We talked and laughed for hours.